For those of you who saw my last long (looong) discussion about The Million Dollar Question, this is the continuation of it from after lunch.

(I ride the bus to work on 13-hour work days, I can’t seem to get the motivation to ride my bike at six in the morning.)

Back from lunch! And I have to say, I cannot think of any possible way tempeh could ever possibly be appetizing. It did not improve after sitting in my lunch box in the fridge all night unfortunately. Divine intervention, where are you?

I found out over lunch I am not the only one who got the million dollar bill though, and I am not alone in my reaction to it. It has been met with universal amusement with a side of scorn. Moving on though…

Last Thursday my co-worker left her copy of Wicca, by Scott Cunningham, in the booth, so I read that. Actually it is still in here, which is probably the only reason I could spell the author’s name… One of my co-worker’s daughters is Pagan so I am not terribly surprised she is reading up on it as well. My co-worker and I share similar belief systems. We absorb a lot then pick out what feels right to use and build our own path. Another of her daughter’s is born-again Christian, and another one (she had three daughters) got committed this week (I think I mentioned it briefly in a blog the other day.) Gotta love family dynamics…

Anyhow, back to the book. I am not Wiccan but I still found it an interesting read. The Wicca path does have a few parallels to mine, which, again, is not surprising. When I first started searching, most of the Pagan information on the web was Wicca flavored. I also realized reading Wicca most “Wiccans” I know live that path about at poorly as some Christians I know. I am sure the same could be said of “followers” of any faith though. It is easy to label yourself, it can be very hard to live up to that label.

I absolutely adore reading, I tend to lean heavily towards non-fiction (with the notable exceptions of the Xanth and Wheel of Time series.) I enjoy learning new thing. When I was about 14, I got my hands on one of my first “Pagan” book, carefully snuck from my mother’s collection of stuff I couldn’t read. The books was the Necromicon. I laugh now, realizing the overwhelming amount of Mad Arab bull crap wrapped in that little paperback but I respect it too, hoax or not. It opened a whole new world to me. I devoured the book, even though reading it gave me some downright trippy dreams. I never quite got the hang of pronouncing any of the spells in the book though. Probably a good thing, who knows what the power of belief would have caused.

I did do my first spell shortly after finishing the Necromicon; it was a spell that I had found on the Internet. I spent a few nights memorizing it. I will be completely honest with you here, it wasn’t a love spell, or one to help the earth, it was one that was suppose to turn me into a werewolf. Needless to say, it did not work (thank the Universe), though again I had some pretty wild dreams about running with the pack in the foothills in Sitges and attacking people. I realize how incredibly silly the spell was now but it makes me realize how much I have grown since then.

I then got my hands on a new book, the Satanic Bible. Unleash your inner goth people! Or at least that was the effect it had on me (not that there is anything wrong with goths.) Oh yes, laugh all you want but I thought it was pretty awesome at the time. I was too terrified to every finish it though, to afraid to be caught with it. Anyhow, then I got the Papyrus of Ani (Egyptian book of the dead) which was exceedingly boring at the time, but it looked great beside the bible on my bookshelf. I also “hid” the Necromicon and Satanic Bible there too, no one looks at what is in plain sight right? That was my theory, till Grandma walked in the room… Another story.

By this time in my teenagehood my father had definitely gotten wind of my interests. I am not sure if we talked about it or not, probably. For Christmas he got not one but THREE magic books for Christmas. I still have all three, they are the only ones I took with me when I left home:

• Encyclopedia of Crystal, Gem & Metal Magic by Scott Cunningham
• Complete Book Of Incense, Oils & Brews by Scott Cunningham
• Dancing With Dragons: Invoke Their Ageless Wisdom & Power by D.J. Conway

I was really super into dragons. I even put all my jewelry and crystals in bed with me once and slept on it. Really uncomfortable, I don’t recommend it. So my favorite of the lot was the last book there, about dragon magic. All three books though steered me a little more towards the “lighter” path, I do not know if that was my dad’s intent or not. Either way I never really have dropped my interest in information about the “dark” side, though I am a healthy skeptic about all of it nowadays. There is neither light or dark to me, there is simple human nature.

By the time I moved in with Michael (4 years later?) my focus had shifted away from practicing magic to incorporating it into everything I do. “Rather then seeing your daily tasks as a burden, see them as a sacred ceremony or meditation.” is more my magical orientation now.

My book focus shifted with me too. I tend to steer clean of the Witchy How-To books (I still pick up the occasional one when fancy takes me.) Nowadays I go for the ones that explore the meaning of spirituality in a more intellectual way, especially the autobiographical ones. Most recently The World As You Dream It is getting dog-eared and highlighted in the backpack. It is narrated by an American man who was formerly in the big oil business but has made a life change to saving the indigenous people of South America. In the book he is talking about a trip in which he took a group of North American scientists to South America to stay with indigenous shamans. It describes what they experienced and how it changed them all.

I also still read quite a bit online, whole books even, at the moment I am working my way though a book about Christian Martyrs (Martyrs Mirror) as well as researching Taoism and Satanism. I love learning about other faiths, it is a love that rivals my deep interest in symbolism.

All things eventually interconnect.