Weight and Stuff

Jaspenelle
by Jaspenelle
Wed
23
Apr
2008
1:53pm
Posted in sub-blogs:
Tagged as , , ,
14 Comments

family
(I think it is funny that Aos is the only one looking at the camera…)

I know this is going to sound horribly petty, but I am really tired of gaining weight.

I know, I know… It is because of the baby and I can loose it afterwards but for some reason it is really getting me down today. Might be because of the guy who called me a fat cow on the bus plaza escalator today. The women standing behind me ripped him a new one after hearing it but still. It bugged me.

I took the stairs back down after, just thinking about the escalator made me want to cry. Oh well… I suppose that it is better for me to take them anyways. I get really winded really easily lately the baby is sitting so high, I am sure I have lungs somewhere in there… I am really looking forward to the baby engaging, even if that does crush my bladder.

Then I got stuck beside a meth addict on the bus and she was picking her scabs and fidgeting. Though I feel sorry for the situation she has found herself in, I had to move. It was driving me nut and I wanted to yell at her that she was throwing her life away. Which wouldn’t have helped her, it would have made me feel bad if I had anyhow.

I’m just so tired, it is really hard to get restful sleep anymore and I have to get up at 4:45 every morning for work. I put in my two weeks at work yesterday, somehow it made me feel weak to do that though I know it was the right choice for me. I expected to stay till the end of May. Maybe I am being too hard on myself.

I am randomly emotional lately too, it makes me feel like I am losing my mind. I am happy 95% of the time but that 5% really sucks. I was holding a baby quilt my mother-in-law made when I got home and just started crying and I couldn’t stop. I wasn’t sad or lonely, I just wanted to cry, so I did. Michael’s support helps beyond words of course but I know my mood swings are not the easiest things to handle. He tells me without prompting how beautiful I am and how much I mean to him. I know he means it and his sincerity feels so beautiful. It makes me feel beautiful too.

I am so ready to meet this baby.
6 more weeks.

I just want a hug.

14 Comments

  1. the_becka
    Posted Wednesday, April 23, 2008 at 4:10 pm | Permalink

    ((HUG))

  2. Lynne
    Posted Wednesday, April 23, 2008 at 4:16 pm | Permalink

    *hugs!*

    I’m back in Bellingham now and will be gone farther than that by the time you have the baby probably… but I wish you love and good fortune :)

  3. Anaknisatanas
    Posted Wednesday, April 23, 2008 at 6:17 pm | Permalink

    *hugs*

    Don’t forget, you have plenty of reason to cry. Your hormones are all out of order. I remember my cousin crying a few times when she was eating…. and she didn’t stop eating either :P

    I’m sending you some stuff later on this week!
    Take care!!! ^_^

  4. jett
    Posted Wednesday, April 23, 2008 at 7:43 pm | Permalink

    *hug* Hang in there. You’re being waaaay too hard on yourself. The guy was a jerk who said that to you and I’m glad that other lady laid into him. And putting in your two week notice….that means you will have worked 8 of the 9 months. That’s pretty damn good and there’s no reason to beat yourself up over that. Don’t be silly. What you’re going through is just part of it all …except the meth addict whom I’m convinced grow on trees somewhere, I hate getting stuck next to one too if that helps….just take care of yourself. That’s the important thing. (Unless you ask Aos who would like a close up next time.)

  5. Turtleheart
    Posted Wednesday, April 23, 2008 at 8:24 pm | Permalink

    **hugs**

    It’s not long now, you’re in the home stretch…

  6. Dad
    Posted Wednesday, April 23, 2008 at 9:45 pm | Permalink

    Wish I was nearby for you.
    I am sure you need a Dad hug.

    Love you.

  7. Jaspenelle
    Posted Thursday, April 24, 2008 at 6:01 am | Permalink

    You know if you traveled through the Earth’s core it might be a shorter trip. :-P

  8. Jaspenelle
    Posted Thursday, April 24, 2008 at 6:02 am | Permalink

    Thank you *hugs back*. I am feeling a lot more grounded today. I can do this!

  9. Jaspenelle
    Posted Thursday, April 24, 2008 at 6:04 am | Permalink

    Thanks for the encouragement *hug*.

    I seriously think Aos was a model in another life (or stripper) because he seriously likes to strut his stuff in front of the camera. He knows he is the sexiest thing around.

  10. Jaspenelle
    Posted Thursday, April 24, 2008 at 6:05 am | Permalink

    *hugs back* weeee, now all the encouraging comments are going to make me cry! Hehe.

  11. Jaspenelle
    Posted Thursday, April 24, 2008 at 6:05 am | Permalink

    *hugs back*
    Thank you.

  12. flarecarrot
    Posted Thursday, April 24, 2008 at 9:26 am | Permalink

    Dude that’s hilarious, I’d have been like “I know!!! (pinch side of stomach) That’s a whole baby in there! I know they’re fatty, but they’re just so damn delicious skippy!!!” roflololol

    lol people dont know what pregnant people look like anymore lol

  13. Kim
    Posted Thursday, April 24, 2008 at 3:01 pm | Permalink

    oh the joys of the hormonal mood swings!
    It will all be worth it though, after all you are having my grandson. :)

    Lots of *hugs*!

  14. AZ
    Posted Friday, April 25, 2008 at 3:28 pm | Permalink

    You are beautiful, the mood swings are normal, and I’m sorry to tell you that you will probably be even more frustrated before you get back to normal. I remember sitting and sobbing 2 days before Huck was born because I was huge and felt like I would always be pregnant and OMG this big thing in my big belly has to come out of me!

    Please, drop me an email; vent, bitch, gush, cry, emote, do whatever you need to do. Nothing you say will be judged, because I am a fellow mother goddess who has felt what you feel!