This is the story of Damian’s birth, as I remember it. I don’t remember all the times and everything that was said but I want to get it all typed out, from my perspective. Damian is a month old as I write this, nursing at the moment, so pardon any typos, I still get distracted gazing at my perfect little boy.

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We are long gestators in my family so when I lost my mucus plug at 3:30am on June 6th, 2008, 10 days before my due date, I didn’t think too much of it. When the contractions started an hour later I still thought it was false labor, even though they were regular and noticeable, unlike my braxton hicks. My husband and I were both awake at that point though and starting it get a little excited. We started timing the contractions and when they were about 7 minutes apart we called my midwife, Linda, to let her know what was going on, it was about 7am. We also called my mother-in-law, Kim, who assisted us in the birth (and for a couple days afterwards.)

I stayed home until around noon and then we went to the birth center, which is just 15 minute away from our home. I was bubbly and excited still at this point and also still was having a hard time believing I was in labor! Kim met us when we got there.

Linda checked me and I was at 3cm and the baby was fully engaged. The 3cm was a little disappointing but I know that we can labor long in my family. Linda was very encouraging and I felt we still had quite awhile to go before the birth so we went home for awhile. Kim and Michael made me spaghetti for lunch and then Michael and I took a nap. He woke to sooth me through my contractions, especially as they started to get longer and stronger.

At three I went to the bathroom and fluid went all down my leg and on the floor during a contraction. Thinking my water had broken, we called Linda and she had us return to the birth center. She gave me a vaginal wash since I had group B strep (I opted for that rather then IV antibiotics.) She also checked me while she was doing that and I was still only 3cm, my bag of waters was still intact as well (I’d simply wet myself at home.) I did stayed at the birth center from that point on though.

Time passed, I napped on and off. Linda came in a few times to check on us a few times, Michael was pushing on my lower back for every contraction at this point and I felt the need to move around quite a bit in between them. I really wanted to get into the tub but I had to wait till I was 5cm before I could (or else it can slow your labor.) I am glad I didn’t hop in the tub right away though or else I would not have discovered the birthing ball. So comfortable to lean over! Still, I wanted the tub and finally at 7pm I hit 5cm, so I got in. It was bliss! Michael got in behind me to rub my back. It was intimate and wonderful. We whispered encouraging words to each other between contractions. I was getting more low-tone vocal during my contractions and they were also starting to get more and more intense. I ultimately got out of the tub and returned to my (beloved) birthing ball for the rest of labor.

Around nine my midwife gave me another vaginal wash and checked me. I was 6cm and we found my bag of waters was still intact. I was so tired and just wanted to sleep but my body wasn’t having any of that! We discussed break my water, and ultimately decided to do that. Linda broke my water at 9:15pm.

Almost immediately after my water was broken I went into transition, Michael knealed behind me and leaned on my back for the whole time. When Linda came back in and checked me she found (a little to her surprise) that I was pushing. I had actually been trying to fight that urge because I thought it was a bowel movement and didn’t want to poo in front of anyone (I am a bit of a type-A personality. Not being in control? Not an option!) Michael reminded me I had to let go so that the baby could come. I finally surrender to my body and felt the strong urges to push rush over me like waves crashing on a shoreline. I hard hardly started pushing when Linda told me the baby was crowning and I got to touch his head. Knowing he was coming out opened up a huge well of inner strength and gave me the power to keep going. The feeling of him coming out of my body was orgasmic.

I don’t remember sitting back, or ending up on the bed, but I found myself holding my baby boy against my chest, his pulsing cord connecting the two of us. He only screamed for a minute before looking at me with his beautiful big eyes. We laid like that for what seemed like no time and forever, skin to skin, my baby boy was perfect in every way. According to my husband, the single word I uttered in that time was a simple soft “wow”. I had never even held a baby under a year in my whole life but it felt so natural. I have never felt such a deep feeling of connectivity, devotion and love. Michael snuggled beside us on the bed and we just sat there in that place of ultimate bliss.

When Damian’s cord stopped pulsing, the midwife left me cut it and she took him briefly to weigh and measure him, 8lbs 8oz, 21 inches long! She never left the bedside with him, he never left our sight and as soon as she was done we was right back in our arms. Michael finally got to hold him while I delivered the placenta and then got checked and dressed. I tore a tiny bit but didn’t need stitches. I felt as if I was floating from joy.

Three hours after he was born, we were buckling him into his carseat and listening to Linda give us the run down of things to watch for over the next 24 hours (when she would come check on us at home.) I sat with Damian in the back seat on the way home, I couldn’t take my eyes off my beautiful baby. I had such an overwhelming feeling of love filling my heart (I still get this feeling when I look at him.) When we got home exhaustion finally did hit, like a hammer, and Michael and I crawled into bed with our most beautiful gift ever.

So that is my birth story with Damian. I was hard, yes, but worth every moment. If I had had drugs or doctors hovering over me waiting for something to go wrong I think I might have felt robbed of the birth experience and not have been able to bond with my baby so instantly. To have those present listen to me and trust my body as much as I did was empowering. This was my first birth, a natural childbirth, and the only way I ever want to give birth.