If you’ve followed the news lately, you know that California’s Proposition 8, which modifies the state constitution to restrict the definition of marriage to be between a man and a woman, essentially denying the rights of any gay couple to enjoy the benefits of marriage.
What exactly does this mean – here is an exhaustive list of the rights and responsibilities of marriage:
Rights when your spouse passes
- Pensions
- Survivor benefits & payouts
- Continuation of health insurance
- Copyrights
- Water rights
- Wages & workers compensation
- Consent/objection for body donation
- Notice of probate hearings
- Permission to make funeral arrangements
- Funeral & bereavement leave
- Inheritance of property
Rights while married
- Assistance for spouses separated due to military service
- Per diem payments
- Immigration sponsor
- Disability payments and benefits
- Social Security
- Medicaid
- Income Tax deductions, credits, etc
- Preferential hiring for spouses of veterans in government jobs
- Tax-free transfer of property between spouses
- Change of surname when married
- Right to enter into a prenuptial agreement
- Spousal privilege in court proceedings (same concept as doctor-client privilege and attorney-client privilege)
Shared rights of both partners
- Bankruptcy
- Parenting rights
- Visitation rights (hospital, prison)
- Next-of-kin status (emergency medical decisions, wrongful death filings)
- Custody of children, shared property, child support, and alimony after divorce
- Domestic violence intervention
- Access to “family only” services such as reduced rates to certain clubs and organizations
- Adoption and foster care
- Joint tax filing
- Insurance coverage
- Legal status with step-children
Responsibilities
- Spouse income and assets counts when applying for assistance
- Subject to conflict-of-interest rules
- Ineligible to receive survivor benefits upon remarriage
Many of these rights can be given by entering into legal contracts between two people, but many of them can only be given via marriage. Why does marriage have to be limited to between only a man and a woman? There is nothing in this list that would apply differently if the relationship is between a woman and a woman or between a man and a man versus being between a man and a woman.
Why is it that so many people are against denying these rights and responsibilities to two people that love each other?
Are they scared their own marriage won’t mean as much because suddenly gays are allowed to marry? Marriage doesn’t mean much already – just look at the divorce rate in this country. Just because Jane and Joe down the street have a terrible relationship doesn’t mean that your relationship is going to be terrible.
People that are against gay marriage say that it will destroy our society because the children raised by gays are growing up in an unhealthy environment. There are plenty of cases where heterosexual couples don’t love each other. Which is the better environment for the child? With parents that love you and each other, or with parents that don’t love each other? Or even worse, being a single parent.
I have a good friend that is a single parent, she has done an excellent job of raising her daughter. If a single person can do a good job of raising a child, then two people working together can raise an even better child. And I argue that a single parent can do a better job then two people who don’t love each other – as there will always be fighting between the parents, which is not a good environment for a child.
There are many gay couples that want to have children. There are many many many children in this country that need loving parents. Why are we denying the gays the right to adopt and raise these children? The heterosexuals aren’t doing it, why not let the gays? How many of these children raised by “the system” are actually healthy contributing members of society? Most of them are really screwed up. If a gay couple can raise a child in a healthy environment, and it keeps one kid from being really screwed up, then let them!
I plan to raise my children in a way to teach them tolerance. If someone loves another person, they should be able to marry – it doesn’t hurt me or my family in any way, and doesn’t prevent me from raising my family how I want. So I will tolerate them doing what they want with their lives. Live and let live..
All people are equal, whether black, white, man, woman, gay, or straight. Anytime you try to restrict the rights of others, you are preaching hate. I will not tolerate hate around my child.
My parents are LDS, and are very strongly against gay rights. But, they never acted before to inhibit the rights of gays to marry. But that has changed. The LDS church was the source of most of the funding for the proposition 8 campaign. My parents give 10% of their income to the LDS church. So they have indirectly supported the proposition 8 campaign, and so have acted to inhibit the rights of gays to marry. This makes them preachers of hate (as well as any other person who tithes to the LDS church).
So, until my parents recognize the rights of gays to marry, and quit supporting hateful organizations, they will not see my son, and in turn, my wife or myself. I will not tolerate teachings of hate in my home, and will not expose my family to hate.
For my parents to see my son, myself, and my wife again, the following must happen:
- They must write a letter recognizing that they have been hateful, express regret for being hateful, and stating that they have changed their opinion on gay marriage
- They must either quit giving money to the LDS church or the LDS church must stop acting in a hateful way, and recognize the right of gays to marry
Jaspenelle and I have discussed this. She believes it is a very strong stance, but has agreed to go along with it – she very much believes in the rights of people who love each other to marry.