In one of my Aunt Ruth’s recent blog posts she asked: “Do you enjoy summer picnics, with your family or community? Or am I right in thinking they are becoming a thing of the past?” Which kind of inspired me to write this entry, though I do not get to answering her question until later.

This weekend was very busy for us. After Michael came home from work on Friday, we turned around and left to take Damian to his one year check up. He is doing fantastically well. Dr. Kincaid was amazed by his height, how well he is walking and all those teeth.

I’d like to say I was totally present at the checkup but I was a bit out of it since I had a migraine. I would just like to say that there is a difference between a headache and a migraine. When I say I have a migraine it means that bright light and noise causes pain so intense that I vomit continuously. I have gotten then for as long as I can remember but I know most of my triggers so I can prevent or at least reduce the intensity of most of them. However I cannot avoid them at three times, when I menstruate, when I ovulate and, apparently, when I am in my first trimester of pregnancy. I had them with Damian and now I have them again. I have been getting them one to three times a week (or rather once a week for three days in a row…) I cannot take any medication that would take the edge off since I am pregnant. However, I have discovered relief. Obey the Cravings. If I obey my cravings 80% of the time they go away.

So after the doctor, Michael took me to Panda Express (Chinese fast food place) since I was craving white rice and steamed veggies. You would think I would have eaten rice and veggies on Wednesday when the migraine began to manifest but I guess the cure just seems so ridiculous to me that I always think it won’t work (last time the “cure” was Dick’s hamburger and fries. Mmmm healthy…) Anyhow the migraine was gone before I finished eating, leaving me with just a blissful (and I mean that) headache.

So then we came home, and since I was feeling all renewed, we tossed some stuff in the van, turn around and drove out to Willow Bay for a second dinner of steak and potato salad with Michael’s of the family. (I am going to blog about that separately so I can profess my deep love for getting out of town and pretty bird houses.) But I wanted to answer my Aunt Ruth’s question. I throughly enjoy summer picnics with family, we actually do a potluck on the third Sunday of every month with Michael’s side so that we don’t fall out of touch. I do think those type of events seem to be falling out of favor with my generation though, maybe in favor of the thing we did on Sunday, but I’ll get to that in a moment.

On Saturday we shopped, and then shopped some more and then shopped… We are going to a big three day campout next weekend so we had to pick up everything we needed for that and did our monthly Costco trip. We also stopped at Michael’s work and bought a 14 count case of organic broccoli, a 10lbs box of local organic snap peas and a 25lbs box of rainbow rotini (pasta salad season!)

On Sunday we ended up running out for a few more things and I processed the aforementioned case of broccoli for freezing. (My feet hurt.) And then went to see more “family” since Andrea and Peter invited several of our friends over for dinner. Homemade gnocchis, strawberry rhubarb pie, fruit salad… Yummy! I brought broccoli (surprise!) and carrot salad. Did I mention that there was pie?

So now I want to add on to my answer to my aunt’s question. I think staying connected to family is important, but I also think, as far as my generation is concerned, the term family has grown beyond biological (enough so that there is the newer term out there combining friends and family, “framily”.) I know that I do the things with my “framily” that I would do with family. We go on picnics, meet up several times a month, go on camping trips, have potlucks, share some holidays together… Our closest friends are Aunts and Uncles to Damian rather then just our friends.

I enjoy family and framily gatherings, but I do think the generational family gatherings are falling out of favor these days in favor of “framily” gatherings. I can see why some people have drifted with family gatherings, you can chose your friends but you cannot chose your family. In a lot of ways it is often easier to be who you are and find acceptance among like-minded friends rather then family that might have preconceived notions of you formed during your youth. However, I think we forget that even though families have their own squabbles, that there is a unique kind of love that can only come from those you were surrounded by growing up. There is a whole set of learning experiences stems from interacting with family. We have to understand where we came from to know where we are going. At the end of the day there is room in my life for family and framily and I deeply love and enjoy both.