(”Uncle” Peter and Damian, Super Bowl buddies!)

So how about them Saints?! Okay, honestly I mostly chattered with Shannon and Andrea through the actual game since I do not understand football, but Michael and Peter said it was a great game. I watch the Super Bowl for the commercials, but is it just me or have the commercials since the “wardrobe malfunction” been progressively more stupid? And the halftime show? I love the Who but they were… a little past their prime preforming years? Either they weren’t really singing/playing or everything they did was on a time delay. A Rock ‘n Roll lifestyle has not been kind to them.

It is always great to have our friends over, any excuse for a party right? And the Super Bowl is about the food too. Andrea put together a wonderful build-your-own Mexican food tray. Andrea and Peter also brought J.K.’S Scrumpy Hard Cider, officially my favorite cider now. If you haven’t tried it, give it a go, I dare you to tell me it’s not amazing. We actually ran out of drinks before the game started (whoops!) but Andrea was nice enough to do a store run for us. I made popcorn and later (once Ivy let me put her down for more then 5 minutes, ah parenthood) I made orange chocolate mousse.

Speaking of parents, maybe it is the mommy in me but I couldn’t help but smile when they showed Brees holding his little boy after the win. Those giant noise dampening head phones on the babe were pretty cute too.

(This photo is tagged over on flickr, click it if you want to go see what everything in it is.)

Yesterday my Aunt Ruth blogged about technology and it started me thinking about how often my peers ask me about my own technological choices. I’m not a luddite by any means, after all, I have a geek for a husband, but I do generally favor older “technologies”. I thought it might be fun to answer some of those “what would it take for you to use [item here]?” questions.

What would it take for you to use a pda/smartphone?
I use a spiral bound dayplanner to keep track of my schedule and keep important phone numbers. I have a homemakers notebook with other information that some would also keep on a pda. My cell phone is a very basic flip phone, it does have a camera, but I find that phones without them are very rare nowadays. I have a separate digital camera which I prefer. As someone who chronically forgets to charge my phone, it is comforting to know I always have my important numbers/information (which I have a poor memory for) in something that doesn’t die on me. Since I am a stay at home mom I think a smartphone would be overkill for me. I also love the sensation of putting pen to paper.

What would it take for me to use one? If they made a smartphone that could be everything my wallet is I might consider it. My debit card, costco card, id, receipt saver… If I could put my purchases into budget categories easily after buying to keep track of what I spend. If the camera were as good as my digital. Being able to handwrite on it (without having to learn some weird new set of characters) rather then using the keys would be nice too. So would an indefinite battery (solar powered maybe? I could leave it on a window sill then…) and it automatically backing up elsewhere, just in case, would be a perk. Honestly though, I will probably always use a paper dayplanner.

What would it take for you to use an ebook reader (like a kindle?)
Since I read a lot of non-fiction which tend to be larger books it would be nice to have something that could easily fit in my bag but the idea that I do not own the book once I buy it bothers me. I cannot backup that book on any other device. I want DRM-free material. I want to be able to loan my book to someone else without giving them my whole device. Maybe if I could buy a paper book and it came with a ebook version to go on my reader I would consider it… Nothing will replace curling up on the couch with a good real book though. I could see having to cave to owning an e-book eventually as more authors self-publish electronically though.

What would it take for me to text rather then call?
I prefer hearing a real voice over texting (which I find time consuming and clumsy.) I am also dyslexic and figuring out the proper spelling while having to use a dial pad is a nuisance. I know there are phones with qwerty keyboards (okay, I never realized until just now why qwerty why spelled that way…) but they are tiny! Maybe if I could talk to the phone and it typed the text for me, that is just like calling though so why bother? I do text occasionally (once or twice a month maybe?) but it is just not my thing. Which is kind of funny since I texted like mad with my friends when I was a teenager. Once I racked up a 300€ just texting.

What would it take for me to stop using a laptop in favor of something smaller?
Honestly, I cannot foresee ever using something smaller then maybe a Netbook for my day to day online activity. I like having a tactile keyboard (keys that move and click as opposed to a touch screen) and a larger screen to read on. Small screens are hard for me to read.

What about handwriting thank you notes rather then emailing?
I truly believe that people like receiving hand written notes over emails. It shows you took the time to do something special for them. Though I might say thank you over email more often now as my family lives around the world, I will still always make room for handwritten notes in my life. I think it sets an important visual example for my children too, showing the importance of gratitude.

What about you? What devices do you choose to use or not and why?

The second drawer on the children’s dresser broke, no great surprise, it was not well made. Until we can replace it, hopefully with something sturdier. I’ve been trolling craigslist waiting for something to jump out at me. Until then the dresser it is being held together by one of the most powerful forces in the universe, duct tape! It might not be pretty, but it works! Some things my toolbox will never be without.

I am having my pap this afternoon, as well as an IUD implanted. The first not being overly traumatic, the second, I’ve never had one before so I am a little nervous about having a copper tv antennae stuck in me for birth control (pardon the mental imagine…) More then anything though this will be my first time being away from Ivy and honestly, I have a bit of separation anxiety. I wasn’t away from Damian until he was almost a year old. I have a bottle of pumped breast milk in the fridge though and Andrea is coming over to hang out with Michael, Damian and Ivy while I’m gone. I’m sure everyone will be fine, but I still wish it was tomorrow already.

But to keep my mind off all that, let’s talk about my Spring garden plan! If you click the image you can see the little details, no key since I know what all the little images mean, but to give you an quick overview.

• Peas, Amish Snap. Lots of them, maybe too many, but Michael swears that there is no such thing. Besides, they freeze beautifully. They will be growing on the two trellises at the ends of the 4×8s and growing on a teepee in Damian’s bed (the 4×4 bed.) I need to buy soil inoculant still though, because there is nothing like boosting production of an already prolific plant!
• Radishes, Early Scarlet Globe. All around Damian’s peas. I am going to plant them in one week intervals so I don’t end up with 200 radishes at once. I can haz overkill? This variety matures in 30 days, so the beds will be empty by the time it comes to plant corn, beans and squash in it.
• Carrots, Saint Valery. Two rows, each separated by two weeks. They store and freeze well, but I still prefer them fresh.
• Turnips, Purple Top White. I tried these last year and had less then stellar germination but as I have leftover seeds I’m going to retry a few square feet of them. I adore turnips.
• Spinach, Boomsdale. Really tasty, and there is no such thing as too much spinach in my book. Love it!
• Lettuce, Forellenschuss. This is said to be a hardy romaine that also does well in summer heat. We will see. More staggered planting here, a square foot or two a week. I’m starting these indoors, in the next week or two hopefully. I still need to set up a light and maybe buy a seed starting tray, the kind with the clear domed lid.
• Kale, Ragged Jack. Just two plants. I like kale, but not that much. Lots of yummy nutrients though and excellent fried with bacon (which might negate some of that nutritional value but I maintain bacon is healthy for the soul.) I’m starting these indoors as well.

And that is the Spring garden. As you can see, it is all pretty much condensed into one bed, mostly because the 4×4 and second 4×8 haven’t been built yet. One step at a time. Next up, the Summer garden plan

Ivy had her specialist appointment yesterday for her hemangioma. We went to the Spokane Eye Clinic to see Dr Maher. I was really pleased with both the staff and doctor. Granted, a two month old with a big ol’ band-aid on her face elicits pity from just about anyone!

Ivy’s hemangioma was about half the size for her appointment yesterday as it was for the pediatrician last week because she somehow managed to scratch half of it off on Saturday. Lots of blood and skin, gross, I won’t go into detail, she is fine though. Hemangiomas don’t have nerves (thank goodness for small miracles!) I mention this since Dr Kincaid, her pediatrician, said last week that Ivy’s hemangioma was growing faster then he has ever seen, which is why it probably keeps bleeding. It is growing so fast in fact he called in another doctor in his practice (whom Ivy had an appointment with last time) to confirm. Because of the rate of it’s growth, Dr Kincaid thinks it should be removed and told me that if the eye specialist couldn’t do anything about it he would sent us to a pediatric dermatologist. (In happier news the tumor is not the only thing that is growing rapidly, Ivy is in the 95th percentile for both height and weight.)

Dr Maher is willing to remove the hemangioma though. He does not believe it goes deep, which is a good thing since that reduces the risk of it affecting her eye’s growth, and it is also on a pedestal, which means it is growing from a small area rather then spreading across her skin. Both those factors make it a smaller area to excise and since hemangiomas are very vascular, that is a very good thing. The bad news? Ivy will have to be put under for the procedure, which carries it’s own risk, especially since she is so young. Dr Maher recommended we wait another few weeks before we will make our final decision so he can assess how it growth between now and then.

So another waiting game, Ivy’s next appointment is on March 1st, but at least we have a lot more information now and some decisions to make. And time to consider getting a second opinion too, I do not take the thought of my daughter being sedated for surgery, minor as it might be, lightly.

• A new year.
• Naps with my little ones.
• Rain, rain, rain… A brief sprinkle of snow too.
• My 24th birthday.
• Spring fever (all these above normal temperatures!)
• Late nights with Ivy.
• A tambourine on Oimelc for Damian.
• And a hot cocoa and movie night to round it all off.

I’d say it’s been a good month!

(A sunflowers from last summer’s garden.)

I ordered my seeds from Seed Savers Exchange today. The order can be split into two categories, child and adult. I don’t think you are ever too young to play in the dirt! I’ve decided to build a 4×4 foot bed for Damian since he has shown an interest in my putterings around the yard. I let him go through my seed catalog and pick several favorites.

• Good Mother Stallard Beans
• Pennsylvania Dutch Crookneck Squash
• Strawberry Popcorn

He also loved the sunflowers but I already have seeds for those. I think his choices will work our well in a single bed as a Three Sisters garden, which is a Native American style of planting. Corn for the pole beans to grow up and squash as a ground cover to conserve moisture. In the Autumn the beans are cut off at the base to let the nitrogen in their roots release into the soil.

As for the other “adult” raised beds, I ordered:

• Amish Snap Peas
• Beam’s Yellow Pear Tomatoes
• Black Krim Tomatoes
• St. Valery Carrots
• Double Yield Cucumbers
• Early Scarlet Globe Radishes
• Italian Heirloom Tomatoes
• Purple Pod Pole Bean
• Hidatsa Shield Beans

I also ordered Tom Thumb Peas but I will be growing those in containers. Damian picked the purple pod pole beans too, but I just wanted some variety of snap bean so I didn’t mind. I actually think the purple pods will be easy to find and pick among the green leaves. Both the radishes and carrots are reorders as I am doing successive sowings with them and will run out of my current stock part way through the season. I want to try to overwinter some carrots to save the seeds from too (they are a biannual.) This is also my second year growing Black Krim tomatoes. Laurie gave me a transplant last year and I really love the variety. They don’t produce very heavily but they taste amazing. This will be my first time starting tomatoes from seed.

I have seeds leftover from last year (mostly lettuces, bitter greens and more pole beans) but I am keeping my crop list short again this year. I want another year to get use to growing in this climate since I am focusing on having crops from early Spring through late Autumn. I also need to save some gardening budget for building those extra raised beds, trellises and sturdy tomato cages (heirlooms need them,) not to mention good soil (which the corn will definitely need)

Have you ordered any seeds yet?

(Just chillin with my friends.)
Bring on the heavy metal! I want a mohawk!

(Five super bonus points to anyone who can guess the movie that is playing.)

We had a movie night at our home today and I got to harass one of my favorite people. Michelle and Mikcos’ son, Nathan! I though his mohawk was so awesome. I tried to make my hair stand up too but it would not stay put.

Mommy says if I still want one in 10 years she will consider it then. I can’t wait!

If today be sunny and bright, Winter again will show its might.
If today be cloudy and gray, Winter soon will pass away.

Today is Oimelc, or at least it is for those of us who celebrate it on the full moon closest to February 1st. One of the many traditional activities on this day is weather prediction (hence the rhyme) and let me tell you, today was neither sunny or bright! Come on Spring!

This morning was time for cooking. I made marinara sauce, meatballs and croutons for dinner (spaghetti and meatballs with Caesar salad.) Damian spent most of his time crashing his tonka firetruck into block towers he was building on the kitchen floor. In between all that I did some Spring cleaning, nursed my baby girl and flipping through my new books.

Speaking of that little girl, Ivy turned two months old today. Michael came home early from work since she had an appointment with her pediatrician (the hemangioma specialist isn’t till Monday.) Her weight and height are both in the 95 percentiles!

Damian received his Oimelc gift from us today, a tambourine! Though he is too young to help me with our Oimelc ritual with candles, he is not too young to ring some “chimes”. I am loving watching him laughing with total joy while banging away!

Damian also helped me make marshmallows for our hot cocoa and a movie party tomorrow. We also made chocolate mint shortbreads. While I pretend not to notice I think it is cute when little hands sneak warm a cookie off the cooling rack.

If you want to read more about Oimelc and our family traditions I’ll send you here but I really just wanted to wish you all a blessed Oimelc and share a few piece of mine with you. I hope you had a lovely day and cloudy too if you can’t wait till Spring!

My word of the year is Simplify. Even though it is only one word is had a wide variety of meanings. Being grounded and full present in the current moment is part of simplifying my life. So is eating more wholesome foods, as well as exercising more and decluttering my living environment. Remember to take quiet time for myself, as well as spending more one on one time with Michael is yet another aspect of simplicity to me. It is almost the end of the month so I figure it is time for a little personal evaluation to see how things are going.


Exercising is going well, though barely any of it is outside, unless chasing Damian around the yard every other day counts… I did 20 minutes of yoga this morning, which is almost forever in the timescale of a mommy with a toddler and baby. I tend to do about 30 minutes of workout a day, 10 minutes here or there, where ever I can fit it in. As I mentioned the other day, we recently bought a wii and working out with that qualifies and both fun and money saving. Though buying the thing took a bite out of the budget (though most of the money came as a Christmas gift from my father) we have been spending less outside the home because of it. I find the more I work out the happier I am, even when it is cloudy and dark out. I keep finding myself doing squats or leg lifts if I am waiting for something to finish (like something to cook.)

Decluttering is more of an uphill battle. We don’t really have a lot of stuff, it is just completely disorganized. Particularly the basement. I am as guilty as anyone when it comes to putting stuff back once I finish with it. A habit I am trying hard to break. I have a plan though, the Cleaning Grand Plan! One room at a time, slowly, consciously, everything needs to be evaluated, everything needs a place, even if that is in a storage box for now. I have been working on the kitchen since the beginning of the month. Next to the basement, it is the most in need of decluttering. I am saving the basement for last even though it is the messiest. Everything that will need to be stored will end up there. My mom always taught me the rule of thumb when cleaning is to do it from the top down. I want the kitchen to be streamlined for cooking but still pleasant to be in. Form and function are not always the best of friends but we are getting there. The next room I will face will be the pantry, which is technically part of the basement, but a separate room. Every rule has their exceptions. I am also making a home notebook to keep track of everything I am doing as well as creating cleaning schedules to keep up with all the changes.

Wholesome eating isn’t too much a struggle for me to add to our life as it is mostly already there. It is so important to me that Damian have a natural whole food diet. However I tend to eat more on the go, cramming quick snacks between activities more then making myself something balanced, and now with the lack of dairy products in my diet (because of Ivy) I need to be even more careful with my nutrition. Recently my main focus has been to have us all sit down to eat at the table rather then just grabbing a plate and sitting wherever, usually behind a laptop. This has been happening much more often. Sitting down to eat has also made our meal times more consistent which is nice for my routine loving self. An unplanned perk of wanting whole food sit down meals at consistent times is that I have started using my crockpot more frequently which gives me extra time to do other things. Tonight, minestone soup, salad and with the extra time I think I am going to make some fresh bread.

Am I working on being on being present in each moment, living in the Now? What about quiet time for myself and spending alone time with Michael? Well, there is a reason we give ourselves a year to work out some aspects of simplicity. I still do my daily affirmations at our family altar. I feel I am doing better at spending more time with Michael. Personal time… haven’t quite worked that one out yet. I have been finding more time to blog though and plan this year’s garden. There are days when I feel that I live each moment consciously, but then there are just as many days where I feel that I am in such a rush that I find myself at wits end by bedtime. It is a process though, and the more I work on the other aspects of simplicity, the closer I feel I am coming to personal balance.

This year my main gardening focus is on successive sowing. I would like to have Spring, Summer and Autumn crops. This of course entails a lot of research on my part and what is becoming a small tidal wave of lists and chart.

While there are so many things that I would love to grow, I am trying to keep my plant selection realistic this year. Snap peas, radishes, lettuce, spinach and maybe kale in the Spring. Tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers, pole beans, squash and maybe watermelon in the Summer. More kale, lettuce, spinach and radishes in the Autumn. I want to try doing successive sowings of carrots from Spring to Autumn and of course sunflowers along the fence again. I have a least one more raised beds to build before half that stuff can go in though. I also have a thought of building a little 4×4 bed for Damian. If it doesn’t do well it won’t be the end of the world, but I think there are some things he would enjoy watching grow. Strawberry popcorn, pole beans, pumpkins… A three sisters garden maybe?

I would love to spend a little time developing the rest of the yard outside the raised beds this year as well. Once the garden is in that will be one of my focuses. While I have no great love of grass it does have it’s uses, a place for my children to roll around. Our grass is scraggly and patchy, I want to try to fix that. There are also several areas that beg for some color, some herbs, some flowers. First our fence must be repaired though (which the landlord will be doing come Spring.) I don’t want any new beds amaged by the repair work!

For now though I plan, and since you all make such a great sounding board I think I will start sharing more of my plans, both long and short term here. But Ivy just woke up so I’ll wrap this up. Everything runs on a baby schedule here.

What are you planning on growing this year?

I was 18 when I moved in with Michael, almost 19 when we had a civil union. If you would have told me then that by the time I was 24 I would have two breastfed co-sleeping cloth-diapered children I would not have believed you. Not that I didn’t want children, I just didn’t want them to come out of my body. I figured someday far down the road that we might adopt. Oh how time changes us…

When I first fell in love with Michael, he was perfect. Handsome and tall with a witty and deep personality. Had you pointed out a flaw to me at that time I would not have believed you. The kind of dad he was going to be was not a pressing issue in my mind when we were wed, nor were his parenting views were. I don’t know if any 18 year old wonder such things about their significant other.

Even when we decided to have our own children, we came up with their names long before we discussed parenting practices. He was actually the one who actually brought up breastfeeding, natural birth, co-sleeping EC and cloth diapering. Heck, I had never even held a baby until Damian was born, much less changed a diaper.

Even the best laid plans have kinks, especially when another life is involved. I was a wave of emotion throughout my pregnancy, when I was 8 months along my employer fired me and I became a stay-at-home mom before Damian even arrived! In that month at home I spent more time wondering what kind of father Michael would be then what kind of mother I would be. When I went into labor I loved Michael ever minute of it, he didn’t even flinch when I threw up (and he does not do well with vomit) and breathed with me during contractions. I loved him even more when Damian finally arrived and I watched him hold so tenderly.

That said, Damian was still a baby at that time, not really doing much other then nursing, pooping and sleeping. I honestly don’t think I really began to understand how great a father Michael is until Damian was crawling. Of course he is great at all that manly dad stuff like tossing Damian in the air, chasing him around the house while making every animal noise in existence, helping him down the slide in the park and reading the same books over and over too. But Michael is also great at all those things you never think about until you are taking care of another life. Diaper changes, late fussy nights, bath times, finding time to buy food… Things that I all to often hear that other dad’s are absent in. Not Michael though, he helps with all those little things, he is better at keeping track of the shopping then I am! And now that Ivy is here, he is still just as involved with her powerful little life force (and at times she is truly a force of nature) as he was with Damian.

I’m not saying he’s perfect, just like I’m not perfect. We have had won, lost and stalemated on our share of arguments. We have even had a couple nights were we have not shared our bed out of frustration with each other. And I don’t think any of that is a bad thing either. Sometimes walls need to be broken down to make room for a more stable foundation that can reach to greater heights. I will never love Michael as I loved him when we first fell in love, and I don’t want to, just as I will not ever love him like I loved him when Damian was born or when Ivy arrived. Our life has changed so much since we first met, we have changed so much.

It is about this moment, right now. I still love him as the person who can make me feel beautiful with just a look and as the handsome devil he is with that witty sense of humor of course. But I also love him in a way that only a mother can love the father of her children. The father who sits up late on the couch as his son fall asleep in his lap. The father who will wear his baby in a sling because they don’t want to be set down and who gets up in the middle of the night to sooth an upset child. The one who goes to work every day so that I can stay home with our children and give them the care we feel they deserve. I can see the love our children have for him and that makes me love him even more.

I know it would be a mistake to believe I will never love him as much as I do now, I thought that when I was 18, but I do love him more then ever in this moment. And that is a beautiful realization.

Last week I said that I was thinking of throwing some things in my garden because we have been having an unusually long January thaw. So of course it snowed today, just a reminder that the January thaw cannot be trusted. Within an hour we had a couple inches, then it switched to rain and melted away. It is teasing me…

Thoughts of Spring planting aside, today was fun. It is the second week in a row Damian’s 2 1/2 year old cousin Emily came over to play. Damian loved it. Emily seemed uncertain but I think she had fun too. Damian’s hugs are more like tackles at the moment which can be a little overwhelming. Ginanne (Emily’s mom) came over too of course, it is nice talking to another adult… She gave us over a booster seat with clip on tray for Damian, it is the kind that straps onto a kitchen chair. Finally I can put his high chair in storage.

Mommy Advice Moment: Do not buy a special high chair for your baby, just buy the kind that straps onto a kitchen chair. It saves a ton of space and you can easily take it with you when you go visit friends.

In other news, I’m going to be a bridesmaid in July at my friends’ wedding. So exciting! This is the first wedding I will ever attend (unless my handfasting counts) so it’s a little nerve wracking too. I’ve settled on my dress though, which will be emerald green; my mother-in-law is going to make it. She is also making Andrea’s gown, which I can’t wait to see!

Which means I have a goal to work towards as far as my postpartum get-in-shape plan goes. I work better with goals. My father sent us some money for Christmas/my birthday which we used to buy a wii and wii fit plus with balance board. I cannot say with certainty if it is helping me work on getting back in shape, but it is certainly helping me drive away the winter blahs and move more. Damian loves it too.

Video evidence of that love, just in case you’ve ever wondered what a toddler looks like playing a wii. If you have played wii fit plus, Damian is doing the obstacle course here. He loves when the wrecking ball hits his mii.

The temperature rose all the way to 50°F yesterday! In January! In Spokane! And we have had above 40°F weather for well over a week now and forecast for the foreseeable future. My parsley has grown back! My grass is almost to a cutting length in some places! Trees are budding that should not be budding yet! Apparently it has to do with his El Nino year and we should have a mild Winter.

Now my fellow gardeners, if you were faced with this kind of weather in January what would you do? Toss some cold weather crops in your (completely thawed!) raised beds just to see what happens? After all my row cover cloth is rated down to 24°F… Maybe some radishes, carrots or turnips? Or maybe some cold hardy lettuce, spinach or kale? I’m temped, sorely tempted.

If anything this weather has motivated me to pull out my garden folder and begin planning and making up some seed mats. I think I will put a few seeds in the ground too. If they fail, so be it. If not, radishes in February!

I’ve been thinking about Haiti a lot lately. The outpouring on love far overwhelms those who would send judgment and cruel words towards the victims. Enough to say I pity those whose words carry such negativity and I send them love. I hope one day they too can open their hearts enough to allow compassion to reign. I am an optimist, I know that one day their eyes will open.

It warms my heart to see the explosion of generosity from people who already consider themselves to be on hard times. Tragedies like this tend to put so many aspects of our lives into perspective. Today I am beyond grateful to have ample food, clothes, shelter and more for my family.

Tonight I light a candle and send love to all who suffer. I hope that it’s light might join with the light of all prayers and bring comfort to those in pain. Peace on Earth.

As someone who once had a relatively empty fridge door, it has gotten pretty cluttered up since Damian was born. Damian’s latest art, our daily schedule, a developmental milestone chart, a nutrition chart and a tantrum coping checklist. Lists helps me tremendously, the tantrum one is new today because I know that I need to start being more consistent with the power struggle which has arisen recently between toddler and mom.

I’m the first to admit that, even though I love him to pieces, I am sometimes left wondering, Who are you and what have you done with my fun-loving little boy?! Then I breath deeply and repeat what must be a universal parental mantra “it is only a phase…” Though sometimes it is more of a question then mantra.

Damian loves wearing the bathrobe I made him for Yule in the morning. It has a yellow star embroidered on the front that he enjoys tracing with his finger. I am really proud of it despite the little flaws, Damian doesn’t seem to notice them anyways!

(Michelle and Mikcos gave me a beautiful yellow miniature rose for my birthday.)

I had a really lovely birthday on Saturday, that is, except for the 4 minutes Ivy’s emergency room visit ran into it. She is doing well by the way, she will be seeing a specialist on February 1st.

After sleeping in until 8:00 (which is a long time when you have young children) I was up. As I am a creature of habit, birthday or not, the morning was business as usual. Breakfast, general tidying and playing with children. In the afternoon my friends came over and we had a little birthday party. Andrea made her wonderful fruit dip and a big bowl of my favorite fruits for dipping (better than cake! I am a fruit bat.) It was a simple afternoon full of great conversation, and honestly after the ER night, relaxing with friends was just what I needed.

My mom called in the evening (she has impeccable timing, the phone rang about 5 minutes after everyone had left.) She sent me a little power sander for my birthday, which goes perfectly with the jigsaw she sent me for Christmas. Though we talk about once a week, there is something really lovely about hearing from family on your birthday.

Anyhow, I can hear Ivy and Damian stirring in the other room. Time for the morning routine. Have a lovely day!

…taking your child to the ER for the first time.

I had just set Ivy down in her swing last night and walked into the kitchen so I could give Damian his dinner when I heard her starting to fuss. I clipped Damian’s tray on and went to check on her only to see this:

(Technically I took this photo a little later. When I first saw her, the blood was smeared and flowing and dripping in her eye and I cleaned that up instantly.)

I admit, my initial reaction was to snatch her up and have a moment of oh-my-god-I-cannot-breath panic. A few minutes earlier Michael had gone out to the store for me and so it was just me and a mysteriously bleeding baby who was getting progressively more upset. After my moment I grabbed a washcloth, wet it and wiped the blood away. I then noticed her hemangioma had started bleeding. This was kind of relieving, I had read this could happen, though they normally are much much larger at that point.

I took that picture in the time it took me to set down the wipe and pick up my camera, it was bleeding that fast. I wanted the picture to take to her appointment with the specialist, something can be hard to explain. Then I put pressure in it, not so easy with an angry hurting newborn, I had no idea she could thrash so much. I nursed her at one point which calmed her down but the blood was still soaking through the cloth. After 15 minutes (eternity…) I checked it, the bleeding had no slowed.

I called Michael and told him to check out and come home and then reapplied pressure again. When Michael got home (15 minutes later) it was still really flowing. t was getting close to 20:00 so he called the nurse hotline our pediatrician gave us for after hours and gave them the information, they said they would call us back in a few minutes (wtf?) 15 minutes or so later they called back, Ivy was still soaking through the washcloth though it seemed to be slowing a little. They told us to bring her into Sacred Heart’s ER. I had a feeling this was going to happen so I already had packed the diaper bag and gotten Damian ready.

Then I called Andrea and Shannon, I left the both voicemails. I had held it together till this point but telling my best friends that we needed their help… I couldn’t even finish the messages. Andrea later told me all she hear was ER Ivy and Call Back before calling me (just a couple minutes after I left the message.) I asked if she would come help us take care of Damian in the ER. She said she would with Peter (her fiance, he also officiated our handfasting for those who were there!)

We have the Best Friends Ever.

In the car Ivy started to calm down and, of course, stopped bleeding. Though it was still weeping a bit. We decided to go anyways since the nurses had recommended it and were expecting us. Andrea and Peter met us at the ER (the emergency room on a Friday night, fun…) We were shortly moved to the children’s ER were we waited… and waited… Andrea texted Shannon to give her and update and let her know she didn’t need to come. I was expecting the long wait, not my first time I have been in the emergency room. My mom was right though, she told me when I was little and in the ER that I would not understand some things until I became a parent. In that moment I completely understood how my parents felt when something was wrong with me. My children were not even born in a hospital, this was literally the first time I have had to go to one with them!

Eventually the nurse came and took Ivy’s vitals and then we waited some more, then we were moved to a private room and a doctor came and checked on Ivy. While washing off her face she started bleeding again so she gave me some gauze to apply pressure and said she would be back in a few minutes. She gave Damian a popsicle and a nurse put Lilo and Stitch on for him. Between them checking on us and Ivy’s bleeding stopping it took about 2 hours, the gauze kept pulling off her scab so they gave us non-adhesive gauze (which still did but not as much.) Good thing because they were considering putting silver nitrate on it when it did.

I just wanted to say that the staff at Sacred Heart was awesome though at the time I didn’t feel they were doing enough (I figure this is a pretty common reaction) I was impressed with them. Not as impressed as I was with Andrea and Peter though! They stayed with us the whole time keeping our spirits up (and our eyes open) and helping care for Damian (who refused to sleep of course, too many interesting things!) Again, we have the Best Friends Ever.

Then we left, it was 12:04. I know this because I was waiting for my birthday to start! Now that the stress has passed and we know she is okay, I admit I am dreading the ER bill. However I am glad we went. The best birthday gift is knowing my baby will be okay.

So in a nutshell, what happened? Her hemangioma opened (she may have scratched it) and since it is a tumor made up of blood vessels it had issues stopping bleeding. We know how to stop it in the future at home (time and pressure.) This does increase the likelihood it will need to be removed but Ivy’s appointment is not until February 1st. Let’s hope this doesn’t happen again between now and then.

Nothing is cuter then…

…baby feet. Except maybe…

Booties. And not just any booties but the booties my grandma knitted for me as a baby.

Ducks and hoodies add to the natural cuteness of things too.

As do toddlers, it doesn’t really matter what they are doing.

And yes, this post’s only purpose is to bombarding you with photos of my children and I don’t mind one little bit! One of these will be my photo of the day for my 365 photo project, I haven’t settled on one though. Which would you pick?

Why does a pediatrician using a fancy term and referring your newborn to an eye specialist sound so frightening? Nothing against Ivy’s doctor, who is amazing, I’ve just never had anything wrong, or at least specialist-worthy wrong, with Damian (knock on wood!) It is nothing particularly serious, or at least it usually wouldn’t be and still probably isn’t…

Ivy has developed something called an infantile hemangioma, which is a benign tumor caused by a buildup of blood vessels in the skin where they don’t belong. You can see Ivy’s in the photo above her eye. It doesn’t seem large (I personally am constantly get distracted by her pretty blue eyes when I look at her) but when compared to a photo of her from a couple weeks ago you can see why we were concerned. Her pediatrician says they generally run their course, getting larger over time and then normally reducing in size and all but disappearing by the time a person is between 5 and 10 years old.

The problem for Ivy is that her hemangioma is close to her eye, which means it could cause complications as it grows, like blindness, if it is not monitored (and treated if necessary.) The great thing is that we do not live in the stone age and if it proves to be one that could impair her growth, we can have to treated or removed. Modern medicine certainly has it’s place. I am not sure if our insurance will cover treatment (what they consider necessary and what the doctor considers necessary can vastly differ) but I really don’t care if I have to beg or knock over a bank to take care of my daughter. It will be done.

But I am getting ahead of myself with worry, we haven’t even seen the specialist yet, with whom I will be making an appointment with tomorrow. Ultimately this is not a major problem, I think my worry stems from the usual parental protectiveness as well as this being the first thing my child has ever been sent to a specialist for (heck Damian has only been sick, and then only with the flu, once.) Fingers cross!

Manito Park, Spokane, WA

This is my second day in my challenge to take a photo everyday of 2010 (only 363 more to go!) I do not intend on posting them all here, but they are in a set on flickr.

Yesterday I saw my first rainbow of the year though by the time I grabbed my camera, it was already fading. Either way it seemed to carry a unique kind of blessing with it; I cannot think of a more beautiful herald for the new year then a rainbow.

As I said the other day, I don’t do resolutions but rather like the idea I have seen floating around the blogosphere of picking a word to be my inspiration or mantra for the year (or until I feel I have developed some mastery of its concepts.) 2010 will be my year to simplify my life. A home with young children can be chaotic and I need to find ways to find the eye of the storm. To live simply and in the moment.

And what could be a more simple joy then watching Damian play with one of my best friends on New Years day?

Finally an elusive Ivy smile has been captured for all to appreciate. No doubt she was plotting future plans of world domination (or achieving world peace for the softer at heart, but I know better. I’ve seen Aos whispering to her.)

A few people have asked me how I have been doing recently, and as anyone who has children knows, life has been very busy. Between Damian and Ivy’s needs as well as carving out the all important couple time with Michael it is amazing I accomplish anything beyond basic household chores.

There are good days and bad days. Yesterday wasn’t great, I was moody as were my children and then the washing machine when kaput. That in itself is not the end of the world, except I exclusively cloth diaper my children and the sopping wet load in there at the moment is three quarters of my supply. Ick! However other then a middle of the night disposable diaper run on Michael’s part (love you!) the washer is under warranty, so it is only a temporary inconvenience. I admit that for a moment last night, it all felt totally overwhelming. Michael is totally taking care of it all though (again, love!)

Yesterday aside, I usually feel pretty balanced but these short Winter days can really wear on my emotional state, as does postpartum body. I know not to be too hard on myself and I do not have any particular drive to look skinny and stretch marks do not bother me in the least but I feel unhealthy right now. At the moment weighing less would be a step in the right direction to fix that. So an increase in exercise is in order as I already eat a very balanced diet for a breatsfeeding mother (though that did go partly the way of the dodo during the holidays. Mmmm cookies…) I am not sure how to go about exercising yet. Come Spring, yard work and general time out keep me fit but Winter has a couple strikes against me in that arena. Besides that I simple do not like working out in the Winter. Again, I accuse the heavy clouds and lengthy darkness for that lack of motivation. Which is a little funny since working out usually lifts my mood in the cold months. I would like to find something indoors and motivational that I can do between chasing a toddler and caring for a newborn. And something free, I can’t afford a wii or wii fit as much as those are fun and I would love one.

Beyond my health though, life is good. Whether good or bad each moment feels precious and my heart feels more open than it has in a long time. I know I have to treasure these moments as I will never again be at this moment in my life. Today I am going over a list of words to pick a theme for the next year. At the moment openness sounds good, but then so do simplicity and balance. I want to narrow it to one. It will be my mantra and spiritual focus until I feel I have some mastery of it, or for the next year, whichever point of reevaluation comes first.

And to finish with a little bit of frivolity (as both my children are now awake.) This is Damian’s latest epic battle toy arrangement. Is it odd that it bugs me more that there are herbivores attacking the stegosaurus than that a robot is joining the fray?

Time to unwrap the gifts!

Toddler crayons rock! (From Grandma Lorie, as is the Stud Muffin shirt.)

New books are also awesome. As Damian unwrapped each one he made Michael read it to him.

Damian received a ton of gifts from family, so therefor there are a ton of pictures. Michael and I bought him a Tonka firetruck which has been zooming around the house for the past few days, along with the wooden helicopter from his Aunt Lydia. He also received an awesome pedal powered tractor from his Grandma Lorie, Great Grandma Mason and Great Uncle Stan. As if I already couldn’t keep up with him, now he has wheels! I think he is in love. They sent him the John Deer shirt to complete the look. (Now if we could just get a plow and tiller for it, I would never need to do yard work again…) Ivy received clothes and a huge singing plush hound (it sings “Blue Christmas”.) I have a video of her with said dog which I have yet to upload. We also received a wooden advent calender, a duvet cover and a camera (thank you Uncle Stan!) and a jigsaw. Come warmer weather and a little practice, Michael and I are going to try our hands at some simple wooden children’s toys. I am really excited about that.

Christmas was lovely and I am certain Damian was completely thrilled with his gifts (as he is still playing with them all.) The day had a perfect wrap up for him too, hot chocolate and a snuggle in his new red bathrobe (made with love by yours truly, with a pattern created by my mother-in-law.) I could make a tradition out of just that you know…

Ivy is growing so fast, I can’t believe it has already been a month!

(or maybe my cat has a human head.)

Our holiday decorations are simple and mostly handmade. All of our stockings were made by my mother-in-law. Michael’s is the one his mother made him as a child, Damian received his one his first Christmas and Ivy and I both received ones this year (they are lovely, check them out.) Elsewhere in the house we have a quilted banner hanging with angels, also from Michael’s family. I have a few Wintery cookie tins and candle holders scattered around too.

Our tree is a small live dwarf Alberta spruce that stays on our altar for a few weeks before going back outside. We have to watch for spidermites so I mist it a few times a week and crack the window beside it daily so it doesn’t get too warm for it. We decorate it with a handful of small ornaments, little painted wooden figurines and small beaded baubles, a crocheted mouse (Damian’s first ornament) and my one of my great-grandma’s little bells (Ivy’s first ornament,) a wood bead garland and a short string of big colored led lights. Santa/Odin stands beside our tree decked out in a fur and greenery with birds perched on him. We have a few glass ornaments that are too large for the tree (from when we had a large fake one) so we hang them from the ceiling above the tree, I think they make a great “topper.” They catch the light and this time of year is all about welcoming the return of the light for us.

I admit I love outdoor decorations more then indoor ones, so we have a couple strings of white ones on our porch and a wreath I made on the front door. Over the years I would like to pick up more lights, maybe the icicle ones if I can find led ones to line our roof with. On Christmas Eve we usually go around our neighborhood and look at all the decked out yards, but we will see how that goes with a newborn this year. Tonight after Michael gets home, we will delivery the last cookie plates to our neighbors and watch our favorite Christmas movies during our “finger food feast”. I am making all our favorite finger foods (and a ham) because nothing says holidays like eating too much (or something like that… Hey, it’s tradition!)

I love our Solstice traditions and for us today is the last day of Saturnalia and tomorrow is the first day of Brumalia, but it is also Christmas. We choose to honor Christmas in a secular way because of our family traditions. I love mixing Michael and my family traditions with our new ones as a family. And lets face it, this time of year is so much more fun with a young family. I can’t wait to see Damian unwrap his gifts tomorrow.

Though we do our main gifts unwrapping on Christmas Day (as that is the day Michael always has off work) we tend to share a couple smaller gifts on Winter Solstice. This weekend we had a small Solstice gathering at our home and Michelle gave Damian the small wooden car in the picture (she also brought onsies and a hand knitted blanket for Ivy as well as an heirloom crib quilt.) Every year Michael gives me the beautiful We’Moon datebook on the Solstice and I tend to make him something by hand. This year I made him a set of juggling balls.

(Damian with the heirloom crib quilt. It has bluebirds on it.)

I bought The Return of the Light for our children. It contains 12 short stories from around the world about the return of light, perfect for the Solstice. Reading to them is very important to me and I love it when I am able to find seasonal as well as spiritual stories. Ideally, I would have given it to them for Saint Nicholas Day but it arrived several days later, so Solstice it is! (Theoretically, I will have it a little more together next year. Not surprisingly, Ivy’s birth put a bit of a hold on some holiday surprises this year.)

Of course I like receiving gifts, I adore my datebook filled with beautiful images and inspirational works, but I do not think anything makes me quite so happy as seeing the look of the faces of the people I give to. It was nice seeing Michael juggling within minutes of opening his gift (and Damian giggling with joy) it is wonderful to have Damian cuddle up beside me while I feed Ivy and read them both a story. Lasting happiness for me is in those moments more then anything else.

Just the other day I had scruffy but adorable baby curls and bangs that Mommy was constantly pushing out of my eyes. There was talk of girly hair bows if it got much longer.

Then my Aunty Shannon came over to visit this weekend and now…

(Ben and I at our Yule gathering over the weekend.)

I look like quite a dashing boy if I do say so myself. Mommy, Daddy and Aunty Shannon agree but they say I look way to grown up and three times more mischievous now.

… staying up into the wee hours of the night humming Three Little Birds to your three week old with an upset tummy.

-

Don’t worry about a thing,
‘Cause every little thing gonna be all right.
Singin’: “Don’t worry about a thing,
‘Cause every little thing gonna be all right!”

Rise up this mornin’,
Smiled with the risin’ sun,
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin’ sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin’, (”This is my message to you-ou-ou:”)

Don’t worry about a thing…

-

I don’t know about you but I think it is a pretty good lullaby for this longest night of the year. As tired as I am, this still feels like a precious time for Ivy and I. Our first Solstice eve together.

I had a zombie nightmare last night and it was really scary while I was in it, but kind of funny now that I’m awake. (And no, I haven’t watched any zombie movies for a few months now. Not since Samhain.)

I was in a house that looked like my uncle Stan’s but which had the yard and basement of our current house. It was snowing heavily and I was getting ready for our annual Yule party (which is today in real life.) Andrea called me to let me know she’d be late since zombies were blocking her car, she told me to turn on my tv. When I did they were on screen, in the perspective of looking out Andrea’s eyes. In the dream this made sense as she had just recently received her “Blackberry implant” and was now completely wired.

Peter was dressed in Samurai armor and was throwing pine tree bonsais at the zombies (funny because Peter really does have Samurai armor and has tons of little pine trees in his grow room.) Andrea was throwing turnips (which I need for a recipe, Michael is picking some up on his way home.) Unfortunately neither weapons were ineffective and though they got in their car the zombies pulled them out and ate them (very Night of the Living Dead-ish.)

Frantically I called Shannon, when she picked up she informed me of her similar situation. She was using a snow shovel to knock them down her basement stairs as they came in her back door (so much for her roommate…) Her last words before I heard a snap and gurgling were “but I have a shovel!”

I called Michelle and Mikcos but no one picked up, nor did Michael. In my dream Michael was at work (as he is this morning for a few hours) but I wasn’t worried since they had a zombie shelter. Damian and Ivy were not in my dream (thank you subconscious.) My mom was out with my uncle, so it was just my grandma and grandpa Mason and brother at home. We all fortified ourselves in the basement, armed with canning jars. When the zombies broke threw the door we all screamed “I want my mom!” and started throwing the jars.

Just before I woke up I realized all the zombies had iphone implants…

Weird huh?

“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” – Elizabeth Stone

OMG Mommy, the world is covered in icecream!

Yay icecream!

Om nom nom nom!

What the heck?! This doesn’t taste like icecream!

Since early in my pregnancy with Ivy I had had a feeling she was going to be born on, my Grandpa Mason’s birthday, which is November 27th. As it turned out she was born on the 29th but I did go into labor on the evening of the 27th.

So many people have misconceptions of what labor is like. Most tv shows would have you believe that after weeks of bed rest from some unknown malady, a pregnant woman suddenly doubles over screaming in agony as her water explodes everywhere and then ten minutes later she pushes out a screaming perfectly clean baby. The mother never delivers the placenta on tv (in fact it is never even mentioned) and the mother’s body then magically reverts to it’s prepregnancy shape upon delivery of the child (haha.)

I say this because I want you to understand that when I say I went into labor on the 27th, I do not mean I was in active angry labor for a day and a half. What I mean is I had bloody show and sporadic light contractions that started on the evening of the 27th.

So what did I do now that it had begun? I took a bath and went to bed, and proceeded to slept through the night. (Not exactly Hollywood material is it?)

The next morning I woke up to the same light contractions of the evening before, but they were a bit more consistent, probably 10 or 15 minutes apart and lasting 30 seconds. I guess this is what a lot of medical professionals would call “failure to progress” and would have been wanting to induce me at this point but it wasn’t bothering me and Ivy was still moving about. I felt she was just doing things on her own time. I messaged my two friends (Andrea and Shannon) who were to be present for the birth not to leave town that day though.

I do not like focusing on early labor as it makes the whole experience seem to last forever so I started cleaning the house. You could call it nesting, but really my mother raised me never to have people over in a messy house, and since Ivy was to be a homebirth, people would be coming over. I also baked a batch of white chocolate macadamia nut cookies and made a Winter vegetable stew, that is more like nesting for me, yummy food! I even did the dishes…

Even though I was constantly distracting myself, the day still really dragged. When evening finally rolled around I was getting a bit annoying by it all. I called my midwife (Beth attended this labor) and friends to let them know to expect a middle of the night call and get some sleep while they could, and then we ate dinner. Around eight Michael and I put Damian to bed and finished watching an episode of TNG before getting ready for bed ourselves. Of course once I was ready to crawl under the sheets, I moved into active labor. Even though I was a bit tired I was really quite relieved, finally some change! However the strength of the contractions also made me want to plant myself down where I stood and not move, which happened to be on my knees leaning over my exercise ball in the doorway of Damian’s playroom.

Michael called Beth and Andrea. As Andrea lives just 5 minutes from us so she was the first to arrive, she texted Shannon at some point as well. Before Shannon arrived Damian decided that it was a good time to wake up so Andrea took over for Michael (who was rubbing my back) while he went to comfort him. Little did we know that all the activity of Shannon and Beth arriving a few minutes later would keep Damian up all night! He was very well behaved as long as Michael was holding him though. Andrea and Shannon were like my doulas during labor, they were amazing. Michael and Damian sat near me, always within arms reach, which was very comforting.

Eventually Andrea and Shannon convinced me I would be more comfortable on the couch then between a rocking horse and wooden blocks, so I managed to move into the living room and lay down. They were right, way more comfortable! Granted they were making me feel like royalty with how much they were pampering me which certainly helped me relax.

Don’t get me wrong, contractions still really really suck, and I was having back labor which is particularly horrid but I was still really happy. I was also really funny, at least in my own mind I was. When I was in labor with Damian, even when I was in transition, everything was amusing to me and I kept trying to tell jokes but my contractions got in the way. It was the same this time too though I don’t remember what I said other than at some point I was trying to tell Andrea why I was laughing and it was because Henry Winkler was covered in bees (Little Nicky reference.)

After Beth arrived and was all set up (she really does bring everything, even an oxygen tank, just in case…) she checked my dilation. I remember groaning “I bet I’m at 4cm and will be forever!” And guess what? I was right! Okay, maybe it wasn’t forever, but after a couple more hours it felt like it. When I delivered Damian I tore a little and had some scar tissue left from that, so my cervix had to get past that hurtle before dilating past 4cm. My cervix got hung up again at 6cm, just like it did with Damian. My water still hadn’t broken but was bugling, just like it did with Damian. If my body had it’s own way, I have a feeling it would give birth to the baby still in the amniotic sac. Neither Linda or Beth have ever seen a sac as thick as mine, the Fort Knox of sacs… With Damian, Linda had to break my water with a special hook designed for that purpose, though it looks eerily like a crochet hook. I delivered him 1 minute to the hour after my water was broken. With this both Beth also gave me the option of breaking my water but I decided to wait awhile longer and see if it would on it’s own. I also switched position back to the floor leaning over my exercise ball and stayed there until I delivered Ivy.

At 1:30 in the morning on November 29th I asked Beth to break my water. Within minutes of her doing that I had the urge to push, much to Beth’s surprise. I was a bit surprised too as I had yet to go through transition. I went directly from active labor to the urge to push. I was not about to complain about it though! Then one of the most amusing things that can happen during labor happened, at least in my opinion, Beth asked me not to push for a few contractions (my cervix was not done dilating so it was swelling due to my pushes, which is a little counterproductive obviously.) This is probably only amusing to women who have been in labor and who know that the urge to push is quite possibly the most overwhelming feeling in existence. Asking me not to push is like asking the Earth to stop spinning.

However the Earth did stop spinning according to everyone present, or at least they said that I did manage to not push for a few contractions. I honestly don’t remember (probably because I was thinking of various people covered in bees) but I do remember Beth telling me I could push again which I was probably more then happy to do. I few pushes after that Ivy was crowning and then her head was out and Beth told me to stop pushing, again! Not so funny this time since the reason not to push was due to my baby’s cord being wrapped around her neck. Again I managed not to push for most of a contraction, long enough to loosen to cord. Unlike with Damian, I felt Ivy’s whole body coming out, not just her head, this is because Ivy’s head circumference at birth was 13.5″ and her chest was 14″. Normally the head is the largest part of a newborn but not my daughter. She needs that extra chest room for her amazing lungs, which she was happy to let us hear as soon as she was out, much to my own relief. (A cord around the neck is not as scary as it sounds but in that moment it was the most terrifying moment in my life.)

Ivy was born almost exactly an hour after my water was broken at 2:30, just like with Damian’s birth. Since I gave birth to her on my hands and knees it was a little funny getting me sat down and Ivy up onto my chest but but in no time she was wrapped in my arms and snuggled against me. Other then Beth drawing some cord blood (it is important for me to know if Ivy has a positive or negative blood type since I am RH-) I held my baby girl until her cord stopped pulsing and was cut (by my very excited friend Shannon), I delivered the placenta and then breastfed my baby girl for the first time.

After that everything was little bit of a blur. There came the usual weighting (8lbs,) measuring (21″,) and Ivy received her vitamin K shot. Michael put on her first diaper, clothes and swaddled her and then everyone got to hold her for a little while (I love watching my husband hold our children) while Beth checked me out and I got to cleaned myself up (yay! Labor comes with an unbelievable amount of bodily fluids…) A couple hours later after Beth had finished all her postbirth cleanup and paperwork, she was gone and it was just Michael, Damian, Ivy, Andrea, Shannon and myself left. It was only then that I realized Andrea had brought a huge fruit tray and hummus and chips, yum! We talked for a time, though I don’t remember about what, mostly because I was dozing off, which was quickly noticed by all. I didn’t want Andrea and Shannon to leave, they were so wonderful during the birth, but they did. We couldn’t be blessed with better friends. And then it was just Michael, Damian, myself and our newest little baby girl.

We all ended up in bed together (I was pointless to try and get Damian to sleep in his toddler bed at that point) and falling asleep. Michael and Damian were out like lights and Ivy was already asleep in the crook of my arm. The last thing I remember before sleep overtook me was seeing my family glowing in the light of the moon streaming in our bedroom window as if we were being blessed by the Moon Goddess herself. Perfect is the only word that comes to mind to describe that scene, it made ever moment in labor worth it.

“If one feels the need of something grand, something infinite, something that makes one feel aware of God, one need not go far to find it. I think that I see something deeper, more infinite, more eternal than the ocean in the expression of the eyes of a little baby when it wakes in the morning and coos or laughs because it sees the sun shining on its cradle.” – Vincent van Gogh

My seasonal depression is coming on a bit strong today and it is mixed with my baby blues and the fact that Michael went back to work today. Feeling a little overwhelmed by it all but I just wanted to remind myself that no matter how long (looong) the nights are that I am truly grateful for my beautiful baby girl, wonderful son and my amazing husband. We can make it through this and we will never have these early days again.

On a seperate note Damian is currently following Aos around the house trying to hang a little bell off his tail. Who needs TV when I have this? I am grateful to have such a tolerant cat. I actually think Aos might even be enjoying the attention.

And the sun just pierced the clouds (snow is expected later today.) Who says that miracles don’t happen? Excuse me while we all go sit in a morning sunbeam together.

Grandma Stewart and Ivy

Since I have been getting quite a few curious and sweet texts, emails and facebook messages asking if I still inhabit the Earth, I thought I might do a quick little update since Damian is in bed and Michael and Ivy are napping for the moment as well.

We are adjusting well to our newest family member’s presence. Nighttime sleep could last a little longer and days could be a little less hectic but that was all to be expected.

Damian is adjusting well to having a little sister though he does seem to miss being the center of attention at times and we have had a handful of extra tantrums. We expected that. Aos has not eaten Ivy yet which is good. He pretty much ignores her existence in fact and is content to take long naps on Damian’s bed (whether Damian is in it or not.) Michael is doing well is somewhat sleep deprived, as am I, though I am a little emotional from time to time, but that is to be expected.

We all ventured out for the first time since Ivy’s birth today (aside from a scheduled trip to the pediatrician) and went to Costco. It wasn’t difficult, other then it being the Christmas season in a big store thing. Damian was very well behaved and Ivy slept the whole time.

Michael goes back to work Monday and we are having friends over for our yearly Yule gathering next weekend, so my posts will probably be just as sporadic as they have been for a couple more weeks while we all adjust to this new routine. I am working on Ivy’s birth story which is in point form at the moment, so that will be one of my next posts.

I hope you are all having a wonderful Yule season filled with peace, happiness and lots of love and laughter. We most certainly are.

On last month’s collage post I said that I had a feeling November was going to be both exciting and incredibly hectic, and I was right! As you know our daughter was born this past Sunday and the past few days have been both of those. On October’s collage I made a list of all that happened and that I was grateful for, but I am tired today so I’ll just share the pretty pictures. Enough to say I am in a very warm happy (and a little exhausting) place right now and so very grateful to be living this life.

Ivy Eleanor Stewart was born on November 29th, 2009 at 2:30am. She weighed 8lbs, and is 21 inches long. Welcome to the world precious baby girl!

“For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food, for love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.”
- – Ralph Waldo Emerson

We spent today at our friends’ Thanksgiving gathering. Peter and Andrea’s home is always so welcoming. Andrea’s sister-in-law, Laurie, surprised us with a couple of gifts too, a really soft adorable turtle plush for Ivy and a Kalanchöe, a tropical succulent, this one has orange flowers. I admit, I am a sucker for new plants.

Damian behaved as well as any 17 month old toddler can. He loved the food too, I was pleasantly surprised that he ate the turkey since I have the hardest time getting him to eat any form of protein, animal or plant. He stuffed himself silly (very silly indeed) with it in fact. The only problem with going elsewhere for Thanksgiving is you don’t have leftovers, however my turkeys would not have been nearly as good anyways. Ivy even left me some room for seconds!

So what is your preference? Barbecued turkey or oven baked? They had both! And tons of sides of course, yams, mashed potatoes, dressing, gravy, cranberry sauces, rolls… Everything was delicious, but more then that, the company was wonderful. (I think it is impossible to feel like an outsider with the Parrish family…) I have been spending an exuberant amount of time recently feeling rather nostalgic about my mother’s side of the family (with whom I spent nearly all of my childhood holidays with.) Andrea’s family reminds me of them quite a bit so it was extra special and a bit therapeutic to spend Thanksgiving with them.

I hope you had as lovely a day as we did and have hearts as full of gratitude as we do. Happy Thanksgiving!