(Michael and Ivy relaxing on the deck during lunch this weekend.)

This weekend was a busy one. The weather was beautiful, really really beautiful. No housework was done but that was the intention because it was all about the yard. Last week our landlord put in a fence, which we are truly thankful for. Now we can actually get stuff done without chasing down Damian ever 30 seconds.

Saturday we hit the Home Depot and Northwest Seed & Pet for gardening supplies. Lumber, PVC, and nylon trellis for the raised beds, a new pot for our Yule tree, as well as some organic fertilizer, and pea and bean inoculant. After which Michael (and Damian!) disassemble my old raised beds and salvaged some of the parts (brackets and screws.) I mostly took pictures and chatted with the neighbor. Hey, if I hadn’t spoken with the neighbor, I would not have learned he had a tiller and he would not have offered to till where our new raised beds were going!

On Sunday we were up nice and early and out in the yard. We raked and weeded, our neighbor came over and tilled, I baked 4 dozen gingersnaps (a dozen of which went to the neighbor.) Damian played in the freshly turned dirt, filling his wagon with weeds, sticks and grass (no complaints there.) Though I often hear that yearly tilling is damaging, I don’t think doing it once to deepen the soil under the beds is a bad idea (it also made getting all the weeds out all kinds of easy…) We are going to sow new grass around the beds.

I also took some time to ponder a side project. Michael snapped this photo of me while I was brainstorming. I want to turn these two dead stumps into a bench. I want to stain and finish that 2×10 I’m holding for the seat and fill the area behind it with flowers. I am thinking maybe a tepee of morning glories and moonflowers. Maybe some zinnias too? I want to more of less obscure the chain link. Any suggestions? I also need a nice garden quotation. I want to wood burn it on the bench. Open to suggestions on that front too!

Aside from the bench brainstorm, we built a trellis for last Autumn’s raised bed as well as most of a new raised bed before day’s end. We have yet to install the pvc bases in it for the hoops and it’s trellis, as well as Damian’s 4×4 bed. Still, I am supremely happy with what we accomplished. With the completion of this first trellis, I will be able to plant snap peas this week!

I could spend every weekend this way. Well almost, I have one small tweak. A barbecue would have been perfect yesterday, but we were out of burgers… Oh well, there is always next weekend!

Recently I read an article about slow family living and it made me pause and think about the things we bring into our home.

Recently I rounded up all the toys and took stock of what we have. Initially I wanted Damian to only have natural toys, but lately we have gotten away from that. Plato said “The most effective kind of education is that a child should play amongst lovely things.” and I found myself thinking, most of these things are far from lovely. Since the great round up, every morning Damian gets to pick out two or three toys from the box for the day. (I have noticed that fewer toys seem to make a more focused happier babe.) It has been an experiment of sorts, I have been wanting to see his favorites. He usually picks the “lovely” things, almost always a set of wooden blocks and then a vehicle (lately his wooden helicopter) and usually a ball too. Seeing him pick his natural toys by choice has reminded me of my pledge. Especially as Ivy is starting to grow into the grabbing teething age. Do I want her grabbing a natural material or a plastic thing to chew? When Damian teethed he much preferred a wooden spoon over a plastic ring.

(Damian’s color “runes”, a handmade gift from Cheyenne that he has been loving lately.)

When Damian is exceptionally good when we are out he has been getting a reward, lately this is a cheap plastic made-in-china thing. I don’t have a problem with the reward system, just the rewards we have been buying. And really, are a dozen crappy toys really cheaper then one well made one? Not really. Yesterday we ordered this, a wooden tool box. Aside from being natural and lovely in my eyes, we think Damian will love it as he is in that whole imitation phase and starting to really grow his imagination too. We intend on splitting up the toolbox it up into many little rewards. Spaced out over time, that only equates to a dollar or two per item. No more expensive and much much more lovely then what we have been buying.

This focus on lovely things has begun to extend into our home too. for example, recently Damian and Ivy’s dresser broke. It was a cheap Walmart buy. We need a new one but want a quality one that will last. Michael has a little equation he uses when deciding on a new things which works well for almost everything. There are three things to consider: time, quantity and quality; now just pick two. (Though we only need one dresser quantity can be seen as cost as well.) We want a quality dresser but don’t want to spend a lot of money (let’s face it, we are a young family and not made of cash.) We will take our time and when we find the right quality second hand dresser we will buy it. It will probably need to be refinished, taking some more time, but once done it will last. It will be another lovely thing in our home.

(Sorting seeds from last year’s Titan Sunflowers with Mommy. His only fee is being allowed to snack on a few.)

Every family is different and our methods might not work for everyone, but life should not be a one size fits all experience. How boring would that be! Even with us, plastic has its place. Damian’s bath and outdoor toys are bpa-free plastic. He has a Tonka fire truck that is not only plastic, but battery operated. He loved making the ladder go around (and around and around and around…) The joy he gets out of it makes it a lovely toy in my eyes. There is a balance to be found in every home. At the moment it is just the cheap plastic we want to purge as we work to a more conscious home environment. One thing at a time least it become overwhelming and we give up.

Pardon the pun but it is all about the baby steps!

If today be sunny and bright, Winter again will show its might.
If today be cloudy and gray, Winter soon will pass away.

Today is Oimelc, or at least it is for those of us who celebrate it on the full moon closest to February 1st. One of the many traditional activities on this day is weather prediction (hence the rhyme) and let me tell you, today was neither sunny or bright! Come on Spring!

This morning was time for cooking. I made marinara sauce, meatballs and croutons for dinner (spaghetti and meatballs with Caesar salad.) Damian spent most of his time crashing his tonka firetruck into block towers he was building on the kitchen floor. In between all that I did some Spring cleaning, nursed my baby girl and flipping through my new books.

Speaking of that little girl, Ivy turned two months old today. Michael came home early from work since she had an appointment with her pediatrician (the hemangioma specialist isn’t till Monday.) Her weight and height are both in the 95 percentiles!

Damian received his Oimelc gift from us today, a tambourine! Though he is too young to help me with our Oimelc ritual with candles, he is not too young to ring some “chimes”. I am loving watching him laughing with total joy while banging away!

Damian also helped me make marshmallows for our hot cocoa and a movie party tomorrow. We also made chocolate mint shortbreads. While I pretend not to notice I think it is cute when little hands sneak warm a cookie off the cooling rack.

If you want to read more about Oimelc and our family traditions I’ll send you here but I really just wanted to wish you all a blessed Oimelc and share a few piece of mine with you. I hope you had a lovely day and cloudy too if you can’t wait till Spring!

Our holiday decorations are simple and mostly handmade. All of our stockings were made by my mother-in-law. Michael’s is the one his mother made him as a child, Damian received his one his first Christmas and Ivy and I both received ones this year (they are lovely, check them out.) Elsewhere in the house we have a quilted banner hanging with angels, also from Michael’s family. I have a few Wintery cookie tins and candle holders scattered around too.

Our tree is a small live dwarf Alberta spruce that stays on our altar for a few weeks before going back outside. We have to watch for spidermites so I mist it a few times a week and crack the window beside it daily so it doesn’t get too warm for it. We decorate it with a handful of small ornaments, little painted wooden figurines and small beaded baubles, a crocheted mouse (Damian’s first ornament) and my one of my great-grandma’s little bells (Ivy’s first ornament,) a wood bead garland and a short string of big colored led lights. Santa/Odin stands beside our tree decked out in a fur and greenery with birds perched on him. We have a few glass ornaments that are too large for the tree (from when we had a large fake one) so we hang them from the ceiling above the tree, I think they make a great “topper.” They catch the light and this time of year is all about welcoming the return of the light for us.

I admit I love outdoor decorations more then indoor ones, so we have a couple strings of white ones on our porch and a wreath I made on the front door. Over the years I would like to pick up more lights, maybe the icicle ones if I can find led ones to line our roof with. On Christmas Eve we usually go around our neighborhood and look at all the decked out yards, but we will see how that goes with a newborn this year. Tonight after Michael gets home, we will delivery the last cookie plates to our neighbors and watch our favorite Christmas movies during our “finger food feast”. I am making all our favorite finger foods (and a ham) because nothing says holidays like eating too much (or something like that… Hey, it’s tradition!)

I love our Solstice traditions and for us today is the last day of Saturnalia and tomorrow is the first day of Brumalia, but it is also Christmas. We choose to honor Christmas in a secular way because of our family traditions. I love mixing Michael and my family traditions with our new ones as a family. And lets face it, this time of year is so much more fun with a young family. I can’t wait to see Damian unwrap his gifts tomorrow.

Grandma Stewart and Ivy

Since I have been getting quite a few curious and sweet texts, emails and facebook messages asking if I still inhabit the Earth, I thought I might do a quick little update since Damian is in bed and Michael and Ivy are napping for the moment as well.

We are adjusting well to our newest family member’s presence. Nighttime sleep could last a little longer and days could be a little less hectic but that was all to be expected.

Damian is adjusting well to having a little sister though he does seem to miss being the center of attention at times and we have had a handful of extra tantrums. We expected that. Aos has not eaten Ivy yet which is good. He pretty much ignores her existence in fact and is content to take long naps on Damian’s bed (whether Damian is in it or not.) Michael is doing well is somewhat sleep deprived, as am I, though I am a little emotional from time to time, but that is to be expected.

We all ventured out for the first time since Ivy’s birth today (aside from a scheduled trip to the pediatrician) and went to Costco. It wasn’t difficult, other then it being the Christmas season in a big store thing. Damian was very well behaved and Ivy slept the whole time.

Michael goes back to work Monday and we are having friends over for our yearly Yule gathering next weekend, so my posts will probably be just as sporadic as they have been for a couple more weeks while we all adjust to this new routine. I am working on Ivy’s birth story which is in point form at the moment, so that will be one of my next posts.

I hope you are all having a wonderful Yule season filled with peace, happiness and lots of love and laughter. We most certainly are.

Last Sunday we met up with our friend Andrea at Hays Park so she could do our family photos (as well as a few prenatal photos of me.)

I don’t know what it is about us but we always seem to end up doing pictures outside on one of the hottest or one of the coldest days of the year. A couple years ago we did summer photos and it was 104°F that afternoon. While Sunday was far from as cold as it can get here, it was a day after this season’s first snow and below freezing.

Other then that, photos went well for the most part. Last time we did them Damian was not yet walking nor so independent, so since we were at the park most of the photos were taken around the playground. I like them better this way though, slides make for lots of toddler smiles.

After awhile though Damian’s lack of a morning nap and the snow soaking through his layers made him into a rather cranky little guy, so we went home to warm up, have some cocoa and a sleep. I love how the photos turned out (I have more in a set on flickr) many thanks to Andrea for doing this for us!

One of this blog’s readers has identified my two deck spiders as Cat-Faced Spiders and I am 99% certain that he is correct. Thank you Drew!

Today is the last day of August and though it is still hot I am seeing signs of Autumn all around. For me the season officially starts at Lughnasadh, August 1st, when I first start noticing the shortening days and reaping the first larger harvests from my garden. It is also when the first Autumn and Winter crops go in the ground (the first of those plantings, radishes, should be ready is a week or two.) Autumn is also a very creative time for me. Whereas Summer is more of a fun in the sun time for me, Autumn begins to turn my thoughts more inward and I find myself opening my hobby bins again. I picked up my knitting needles for the first time is several months this week.

I am a firm believer that everyone needs their own space to get away, just as I am a firm believer that everyone needs a hobby. Mine in the Summer is the garden. Planting, weeding, harvesting are my escape. Otherwise photography is a joy for me in every season and when the weather cools a wide variety of crafts come into play. I have my space in the home where I do these things, where I can get away for a bit of me time. Sometimes I noticed recently is that Michael really does not have a space like that. What we jokingly refer to as a Man Cave for him. My hobbies are generally very portable and easy to keep Damian from mangling too much, however Michael’s hobbies involve lots of electronics and therefor cables. Not so easily baby-proof! And while Damian is learning his boundaries, Ivy is on the way and the process will begin all over again.

For a few weeks I have been reorganizing the basement. I initially wanted to put grow lights in the laundry area for starting seeds and winter green but with the realization that Michael needs some space I have also been carving out an area near the stairs for his cave. Yesterday Michael moved my spare kitchen table down into the basement and I also ordered him a stand for the Yamaha keyboard I gave him a couple years ago. He still needs to set up his spare computer but the man cave is nearing completion! And for next to no coin.

One thing did warranted a small purchase though, I lost my spare kitchen table! So yesterday afternoon we headed over to the General Store and bought some reasonable shelving to put in the area the table once occupied. I am really pleased with how it looks. This new shelving is going to work a lot better in the kitchen then the table ever did. It is further out of child-reach and there will be no more big piles of jumbled stuff heaped in the middle of a table.

Overtime I’d like to find a 5×8 area rug and something better then a kitchen chair for the man cave but those are things I will just stalk Craigslist for. I also want to install one of my daylight lights down there for him as we both get seasonal depression and he will need more light then the little basement window allows for. I think it is really important for a family to have both together and away time from each other. I know that as much as I love Michael and Damian sometimes I just need time alone! And Michael is the same way. I really believe that some distance helps the heart grow fonder. I am really happy we made this space for Michael. I was teasing him about how he can have a place to put all his tacky man-things from his bachelor days, but then we realized he doesn’t really have anything like that. Yes, I got one with good taste!

Still, maybe I should get him a disco ball…

I might have a special place in my heart for Willow Bay because it is the first place I met Michael’s parents, almost 5 years ago now (wow, time flies…) A lot has changed since then but I still love that place. Willow Bay Resort is right on the Spokane River near Nine Mile (and about 45 minutes from our home.) My in-laws have a membership there so that they “camp” in one of the trailers on the grounds, but you can also pitch just tent.

On Friday Michael and I took Damian up there for the first time. Not to camp, but just for a nice dinner picnic with his family. We drove through quite a few rain showers on our way, but it was beautiful for the whole evening once we arrived. My father-in-law, Greg, grilled up steak for dinner and my mother-in-law, Kim, made her wonderful potato salad. Damian had lots of fun hanging out with his cousin Emily and running around like the crazy nature loving maniac he is.

I think it is so important for children to spend time as possible outside. Damian and I hang out in the backyard, go on walks and play in the park several times a week (if not every day.) Damian adores the outdoors, it fills him with more life, smiles and laughter then anything on the tube ever could. It also wears him out more and makes for longer naps, which I love (does that sound horrible?) since they give me time to blog!

So what is my favorite part of Willow Bay? I love it all but if I had to pick one thing, it would be all the colorful birdhouses. There are three of four of them on almost every tree along the main path. It looks like children painted most of them, which always makes me smiles. I think Damian will like projects like that when he is older. This is my favorite grouping of birdhouses (probably because of the sign):

Michael has the next few days at work, so you can probably expect another nature loving post soon as we are going to the annual Pagan Campout at Priest Lake this weekend. I am almost finished a garden update too (everything growing so fast!) but I have to wait for the rain to let up to grab some new photos. Oh and as always you can find more photos from our evening at Willow Bay in our photo gallery.

In one of my Aunt Ruth’s recent blog posts she asked: “Do you enjoy summer picnics, with your family or community? Or am I right in thinking they are becoming a thing of the past?” Which kind of inspired me to write this entry, though I do not get to answering her question until later.

This weekend was very busy for us. After Michael came home from work on Friday, we turned around and left to take Damian to his one year check up. He is doing fantastically well. Dr. Kincaid was amazed by his height, how well he is walking and all those teeth.

I’d like to say I was totally present at the checkup but I was a bit out of it since I had a migraine. I would just like to say that there is a difference between a headache and a migraine. When I say I have a migraine it means that bright light and noise causes pain so intense that I vomit continuously. I have gotten then for as long as I can remember but I know most of my triggers so I can prevent or at least reduce the intensity of most of them. However I cannot avoid them at three times, when I menstruate, when I ovulate and, apparently, when I am in my first trimester of pregnancy. I had them with Damian and now I have them again. I have been getting them one to three times a week (or rather once a week for three days in a row…) I cannot take any medication that would take the edge off since I am pregnant. However, I have discovered relief. Obey the Cravings. If I obey my cravings 80% of the time they go away.

So after the doctor, Michael took me to Panda Express (Chinese fast food place) since I was craving white rice and steamed veggies. You would think I would have eaten rice and veggies on Wednesday when the migraine began to manifest but I guess the cure just seems so ridiculous to me that I always think it won’t work (last time the “cure” was Dick’s hamburger and fries. Mmmm healthy…) Anyhow the migraine was gone before I finished eating, leaving me with just a blissful (and I mean that) headache.

So then we came home, and since I was feeling all renewed, we tossed some stuff in the van, turn around and drove out to Willow Bay for a second dinner of steak and potato salad with Michael’s of the family. (I am going to blog about that separately so I can profess my deep love for getting out of town and pretty bird houses.) But I wanted to answer my Aunt Ruth’s question. I throughly enjoy summer picnics with family, we actually do a potluck on the third Sunday of every month with Michael’s side so that we don’t fall out of touch. I do think those type of events seem to be falling out of favor with my generation though, maybe in favor of the thing we did on Sunday, but I’ll get to that in a moment.

On Saturday we shopped, and then shopped some more and then shopped… We are going to a big three day campout next weekend so we had to pick up everything we needed for that and did our monthly Costco trip. We also stopped at Michael’s work and bought a 14 count case of organic broccoli, a 10lbs box of local organic snap peas and a 25lbs box of rainbow rotini (pasta salad season!)

On Sunday we ended up running out for a few more things and I processed the aforementioned case of broccoli for freezing. (My feet hurt.) And then went to see more “family” since Andrea and Peter invited several of our friends over for dinner. Homemade gnocchis, strawberry rhubarb pie, fruit salad… Yummy! I brought broccoli (surprise!) and carrot salad. Did I mention that there was pie?

So now I want to add on to my answer to my aunt’s question. I think staying connected to family is important, but I also think, as far as my generation is concerned, the term family has grown beyond biological (enough so that there is the newer term out there combining friends and family, “framily”.) I know that I do the things with my “framily” that I would do with family. We go on picnics, meet up several times a month, go on camping trips, have potlucks, share some holidays together… Our closest friends are Aunts and Uncles to Damian rather then just our friends.

I enjoy family and framily gatherings, but I do think the generational family gatherings are falling out of favor these days in favor of “framily” gatherings. I can see why some people have drifted with family gatherings, you can chose your friends but you cannot chose your family. In a lot of ways it is often easier to be who you are and find acceptance among like-minded friends rather then family that might have preconceived notions of you formed during your youth. However, I think we forget that even though families have their own squabbles, that there is a unique kind of love that can only come from those you were surrounded by growing up. There is a whole set of learning experiences stems from interacting with family. We have to understand where we came from to know where we are going. At the end of the day there is room in my life for family and framily and I deeply love and enjoy both.

Comment to this post and I will give you 5 subjects/items that I associate you with. Then post this on your blog and elaborate on the subjects given. Link the post to me if you do this meme so that I don’t miss it!

Or if you want, just comment here on five things that you associate with me and I will share my thoughts on what you say. I will only comment on each thing once though, (but I don’t mind if you say something someone else said!)

Zyleeth said:

Family: This is definitely one of the most important aspects in my life, though my definition of family is not necessarily defined by blood relation. In fact I think, for the most part, blood ties are a very shallow reason to want to be around someone. I have friends who are family to me. I don’t need to agree completely ideologically or spiritually with a person for them to be family, but I do need to feel welcomed, respected, and the other person needs to have an open mind.

Intelligence: How flattering! I suppose I do have a decent head on my shoulder. I really like to have a plan and to work through all the possibilities in my mind before executing an important task. That said, I trust my gut a lot of the time when results could fall either way.

Passion: Ice ice baby! Wrong kind of passion? I certainly have a passion for life, I adore this little blue ball of life we are riding around the universe. Greatest rollercoaster ever. I have some topics I am more passionate about then others of course, like homesteading and green living, but I love learning about just about anything. I am passionate about people too, I love meeting new people and hearing their stories. I truly believe we can learn from every experience, good or bad.

Phoenixes: Ah, Zyleeth knows! I adore phoenixes, though my views of them are not necessarily traditional. My avatar is a water phoenix, an blue, silver, orange and gold beauty with trailing tails erupting out of the ocean (or river, or well… not puddles though) dripping with flame and water. A symbol of rebirth from the Earth’s womb of course, as well as a reflection of the more mercurial aspect of my subconscious.

Spirituality: I am an intensely spiritual person, and I tend to view almost all parts of my life as some aspect of my spirituality. I am also a very open person so if people ask I will freely discuss my beliefs. Family, living with respect for to the earth, community and ancestor veneration are probably the most important facets of my spirituality. I do not put much faith in deities, nor do I see them as all powerful, but I do believe in wise spirits and they have my respect. When seeking other like-minded people I tend to connect best with Pagans and other Earth-based spiritualists, but I like that I can find common ground with almost any faith (though they do not necessarily see the same correlations.)

Zuca said:

(He also elaborated on each other items in his comment which he didn’t need to do, but is a pretty cool read.)

Belief: See Zyleeth’s list (spirituality.)

Hard Worker: I love having results, so I guess I am a hard worker, that said, if I do not really want to do something, I really won’t. Like right now, I could be cleaning the kitchen, but I would rather be answering this meme. It is important to kick back and have fun too.

Intelligence: See Zyleeth’s list.

Optimism: Probably one of my most recognizable personality traits is this. I am often the incurable optimist, oddly enough, it is not because I necessarily am inside, but it is because someone has to be, and optimists are in short supply in the world. More often then not it is harder to see the good in people then the bad so it is a personal challenge for me too. Besides I heard optimists live longer.

Stubbornness: I would be lying if I said I was not stubborn, but I’ll pick it over being walked on. Generically speaking people seem to correlate optimism with doormat and think I will be a pushover. Little do they know, mwahahahaha! Seriously though I can become really pigheaded if I do not watch it, especially when I have a new idea.

I made out like a bandit this Winter Solstice! I got…

Wooden blocks from my Great Aunt Ruth and cousin Becka. The blocks are so awesome, I strategically place them so that Mommy steps on them, mwahahahaha! I push my wagon around the floor too! When I unwrapped it, it looked like this!

I got a musical riding horse from Grandma and Great Grandma Mason (Mommy’s family) and lots of cute books and a crawling Pooh bear. The box was pretty fun too! They also gave me the green PJs that I am wearing in some of these photos.

I got a pull along fabric and wood crocodile (which Mommy needs to get a better photo of) from Grandpa Tolman (Mommy’s father.) I crawl around trailing it behind me and then turn around and maul it while growling. I am soooo fearsome! Grandpa Tolman also got me some long sleeve onsies (I am wearing one in this photo,) sneakers and a baby book about the Solstice! Mommy is going to read it to me tonight.

And as if I wasn’t spoiled enough, Uncle Justin and Aunt Heather got me:

Another thing which allows me to unleash my inner geek! Daddy especially loves this one (he had to explain it to Mommy…)

I had a wonderful Solstice and I hope you did too. Thank you for all the gifts, I am really enjoying them. Mommy and Daddy took a video of me unwrapping them which will be online soon.

Baby hugs! (That’s my Grandma Stewart.)

More Photos Here!

“In the practice of tolerance, one’s enemy is the best teacher.”
- the Dalai Lama

Michael and I have a very long conversation after his post about spirituality and love and hate. Michael’s recent post has naturally caused its own degree of uproar, I expected as much, and not unjustly. If the a church (LDS or not) had given money to try to remove womens’ rights or black rights would we be having this conversation or would people see that as hate? The bibles might say that being gay is bad but it also has a ton of other rules people do not follow, for example we do not execute brides who are not virgins (Deuteronomy 22:13-21) nor are widows who’s husbands died before they can have children forced to be impregnated by the late husband’s brothers (Mark 12:18-27) thank goodness right? Anyhow, the purpose of this post it not to discuss the bible or gay rights.

I think the 14th Dalai Lama is an amazing man and his teachings ring true to my soul. I try to let his teachings on compassion be the foundation of my actions towards others. It is really hard to not give into negative feelings regarding others. It is so easy to hate. It would be so easy to be angry at Michael’s parents for their intolerant views, it would be so easy to be angry at Michael for wanting to cut of ties with them. It would be so easy to be angry at the LDS church for opposing gay rights and funneling money into a political movement (something I see as hate speech and a violation of the seperation of church and state.) Sometimes I want to hate the people who hate.

But I can’t. I know I cannot steer anyone’s mind towards tolerance with hate and anger, that can only be accomplished through compassion and love.

Michael’s parents are good people, Michael is a good person, but I have to recognize that there is a lot of history here. 21 years of history before I ever met or moved in with Michael. Michael’s whole family, as far as I know, are Mormon. Michael, their eldest son, is not, he left the church. Anyone who comes from a family like this knows what kind of tension this causes, though I thought this tension has lessened over time. When I moved in with Michael, I became the bridge between him and his family. I think this gay rights thing is the hair that broke the camels back.

Now the question arises, how can I address this situation with compassion. It would be easy to take sides. To be honest, I am not exactly sure what I am going to do right now. What is easy and what is right are unfortunately not always the same thing. At the moment, I have chosen to support Michael’s decision and mostly stay out of the matter. I have to have faith in his decision regarding his family and I have to trust he made it for the good of our son.

Gay issues rarely come up in family discussions but when it does the words do fly. Do I want Damian in an environment like that? There is a fine line between debating and fighting. I learned a long time ago to tune out fighting, so maybe I missed this building up. Last month at the family potluck Michael and his mother debated about civil liberties, it did not end on a good note because they couldn’t find common ground. The overtone of the argument was morals and seperation of church and state.

I love my in laws. I will not keep them from seeing their grandson or myself but I will also not go out of my way to meet up with them, until I figure out where I stand on this issue. Heart and head are not agreeing at the moment. Where does one draw the line between accepting someone for who they are and condoning negative behavior? Should you give more leniency to family then others?

Some people have asked if we would keep Damian from having friends with hateful views, and while I would hope he would have better sense then to run with people like that, I would not (unless they were drug dealers or something, always extenuating circumstances.) However this question is not relevant at the moment, Damian is a baby, not a child in school. The question is, so should I shelter him from anger, arguments and hate right now, in these early most formative years?

The Dalai Lama has said “The ultimate authority must always rest with the individual’s own reason and critical analysis.” This is a very complex issue, one that I know won’t blow over. I know I must tread lightly and think deeply. Until then I am using the advice my mother has offered me since I was a child. If you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all. So for now I am just going to try stay out of this, which admittedly is not the easiest thing for me to do!

If you’ve followed the news lately, you know that California’s Proposition 8, which modifies the state constitution to restrict the definition of marriage to be between a man and a woman, essentially denying the rights of any gay couple to enjoy the benefits of marriage.

What exactly does this mean – here is an exhaustive list of the rights and responsibilities of marriage:

Rights when your spouse passes

• Pensions
• Survivor benefits & payouts
• Continuation of health insurance
• Copyrights
• Water rights
• Wages & workers compensation
• Consent/objection for body donation
• Notice of probate hearings
• Permission to make funeral arrangements
• Funeral & bereavement leave
• Inheritance of property

Rights while married

• Assistance for spouses separated due to military service
• Per diem payments
• Immigration sponsor
• Disability payments and benefits
• Social Security
• Medicaid
• Income Tax deductions, credits, etc
• Preferential hiring for spouses of veterans in government jobs
• Tax-free transfer of property between spouses
• Change of surname when married
• Right to enter into a prenuptial agreement
• Spousal privilege in court proceedings (same concept as doctor-client privilege and attorney-client privilege)

Shared rights of both partners

• Bankruptcy
• Parenting rights
• Visitation rights (hospital, prison)
• Next-of-kin status (emergency medical decisions, wrongful death filings)
• Custody of children, shared property, child support, and alimony after divorce
• Domestic violence intervention
• Access to “family only” services such as reduced rates to certain clubs and organizations
• Adoption and foster care
• Joint tax filing
• Insurance coverage
• Legal status with step-children

Responsibilities

• Spouse income and assets counts when applying for assistance
• Subject to conflict-of-interest rules
• Ineligible to receive survivor benefits upon remarriage

Many of these rights can be given by entering into legal contracts between two people, but many of them can only be given via marriage. Why does marriage have to be limited to between only a man and a woman? There is nothing in this list that would apply differently if the relationship is between a woman and a woman or between a man and a man versus being between a man and a woman.

Why is it that so many people are against denying these rights and responsibilities to two people that love each other?

Are they scared their own marriage won’t mean as much because suddenly gays are allowed to marry? Marriage doesn’t mean much already – just look at the divorce rate in this country. Just because Jane and Joe down the street have a terrible relationship doesn’t mean that your relationship is going to be terrible.

People that are against gay marriage say that it will destroy our society because the children raised by gays are growing up in an unhealthy environment. There are plenty of cases where heterosexual couples don’t love each other. Which is the better environment for the child? With parents that love you and each other, or with parents that don’t love each other? Or even worse, being a single parent.

I have a good friend that is a single parent, she has done an excellent job of raising her daughter. If a single person can do a good job of raising a child, then two people working together can raise an even better child. And I argue that a single parent can do a better job then two people who don’t love each other – as there will always be fighting between the parents, which is not a good environment for a child.

There are many gay couples that want to have children. There are many many many children in this country that need loving parents. Why are we denying the gays the right to adopt and raise these children? The heterosexuals aren’t doing it, why not let the gays? How many of these children raised by “the system” are actually healthy contributing members of society? Most of them are really screwed up. If a gay couple can raise a child in a healthy environment, and it keeps one kid from being really screwed up, then let them!

I plan to raise my children in a way to teach them tolerance. If someone loves another person, they should be able to marry – it doesn’t hurt me or my family in any way, and doesn’t prevent me from raising my family how I want. So I will tolerate them doing what they want with their lives. Live and let live..

All people are equal, whether black, white, man, woman, gay, or straight. Anytime you try to restrict the rights of others, you are preaching hate. I will not tolerate hate around my child.

My parents are LDS, and are very strongly against gay rights. But, they never acted before to inhibit the rights of gays to marry. But that has changed. The LDS church was the source of most of the funding for the proposition 8 campaign. My parents give 10% of their income to the LDS church. So they have indirectly supported the proposition 8 campaign, and so have acted to inhibit the rights of gays to marry. This makes them preachers of hate (as well as any other person who tithes to the LDS church).

So, until my parents recognize the rights of gays to marry, and quit supporting hateful organizations, they will not see my son, and in turn, my wife or myself. I will not tolerate teachings of hate in my home, and will not expose my family to hate.

For my parents to see my son, myself, and my wife again, the following must happen:

• They must write a letter recognizing that they have been hateful, express regret for being hateful, and stating that they have changed their opinion on gay marriage
• They must either quit giving money to the LDS church or the LDS church must stop acting in a hateful way, and recognize the right of gays to marry

Jaspenelle and I have discussed this. She believes it is a very strong stance, but has agreed to go along with it – she very much believes in the rights of people who love each other to marry.

The cool down of Autumn have finally arrived and so has the peak of the harvest season. Fat pumpkins lay in fields, apple branches bend low with heavy yield and the Earth’s bounty overflows the garden and farm. This harvest begs to be enjoyed, but also preserved. Winter’s icy days draw near.

Technically speaking an equinox is a day when the Sun will spend an equal amount of time above and below the horizon. This happens twice a year, in Autumn and Spring. Autumn Equinox is the tipping point into the dark half of the year. Today we are also entering into the sunsign of Libra, her scales are a perfect echo of the light/dark balance of this equinox. Historically speaking, nearly every culture has some form of harvest festival, many celebrated still today.

Megalithic people of ancient Britain and Ireland obviously placed some kind of importance on both the solstices and equinoxes. Otherwise they would not have build stone structures like Stonehenge and Loughcrew Cairn to determine their dates. Their methods of celebrating these days has been long lost to history though.

The ancient Celts constructed a wickerman around this time of the year as well. It was ritually burned to represent the plant spirits returning to the earth to rest until Spring. An incarnation of this ancient idea has been reborn in recent years in the Burning Man Project, a yearly festival celebrated in the Autumn in Nevada. A giant wickerman is constructed and burned at the height of the week long festival.

The Mayans constructed a sacred pyramid called Chichen Itza, which acted in a similar way to the stone structures of the Megalithic people of Britain and Ireland. On the day of the Autumn Equinox a “serpent of light” descends the pyramid until it joins this a huge stone rattlesnake head at its base. (This serpent is actually seven isosceles triangles that are formed from the sunlight hitting the pyramid stairs.)

The Chumash, a Native American tribe from Southern California, celebrate the Autumn Equinox in a ceremony that takes place after the harvest is picked, processed and stored. After this day the spiritual thoughts of the tribe become focused on unity in the face of Winter.

Teutonic tribes called the period from the Autumn Equinox until approximately October 15th “Winter Finding.” October 15th was Winter Night and their new years. Besoms were constructed to symbolize the man/woman duality. A Harvest Lord was made from straw and burned, his ashes scattered over the fields. A Harvest Queen was woven from the last sheaf of wheat of the harvest. It was dressed in Spring colors and hung from a pole (it also was sometimes called the Kern Baby.)

In Neopaganism, many different rituals are preformed on this day, often echoing ancient traditions. Most of these rites are based on the balance found in nature as well as within ourselves. Some refer the Autumn Equinox as the Witches Thanksgiving as it is a celebration of the harvest and a time to give thanks for the bounty that the Earth has provided.. Wiccans, the most common variety of Neopagans, celebrate the Autumn Equinox as Mabon. The day honors the Sacrificial King who dies and passes into the harvest to be reborn through the Goddess come Springtime.

In my practice, I personify the Earth as Mother and Sun as Father. Now is the time for Father Sun to pass into darkness so that Mother Earth might rest as she nurtures the spirit of Spring within her. Without Winter’s rest many plants could not come forth in the Spring. Autumn Equinox is a time to come together as a community and give thanks for the harvest as well as find peace within ourselves to face the coming darker days. It is a time of year when the goals that summer’s fun kept me from, return to the forefront of my mind. Balances is a powerful force which I invite into my life so that all my workings might come from a place of wholeness and love. Balance is needed in all things from the spiritual to the mundane as it keeps us from the pointlessness excess and the dullness of laziness.

Autumn Equinox: in our home

(This is from a page in my BoS where I list family activities, crafts, home and altar decorations and other miscellaneous ideas.)

Activities:

• Acorn Gathering for Winter Solstice ornaments
• Harvest Festival in Greenbluff
• Thanksgiving Ritual

Crafts:

• Apple Dolls
• Autumn Leaves Stained Glass
• Besom Making
• Bread Making
• Pine Cone Bird Feeders
• Harvesting and Preserving: canning, dehydrating, freezing
• Equinox Candles

Decorations:

• Acorns, Maple Keys, Pinecones
• Autumn Leaves
• Burial Cairns
• Cornucopias
• Dried Herbs
• Indian Corn Bundles
• Scythe, Bolline
• Seasonal flowers and foods

Autumn Equinox: feast

This is a a time when the Earth’s bounty is at her peak, why not make the table groan with your favorite seasonal dishes? Since we go to the apple festival each year fresh apple cider and local wines fill out goblets and we raise them for a blessing a toast.

Eternal Spirits we welcome you into our home on this day of balance.
You who are the wind, water, fire and earth at the soul of our world.

The Autumn Equinox is here and we give thee thanks for the harvest,
and its bounty that nourishes us, sustains us and inspires us.

We give thee thanks for the times we spend together in love and peace,
and all those who have fought so that we may enjoy this freedom.

We give thee thanks for this good green Earth and the kinship of our friends and family,
and for all we have overlooked or taken for granted in our life.

We give thanks for the blessings you whisper into our lives each and every day.
Eternal Spirits we welcome you to our table. Blessed be.

(You can go around the table now and have everyone share what they are thankful for.)

–

BREAD: Roasted Potato and Onion Bread
This must be started the night before your feast. It is well worth the effort though!

–

MAIN DISH: Layered Vegetarian Crockpot
Layer in crockpot:

• 6 potatoes, sliced
• 1 onion, sliced
• 2 carrots, sliced
• 1 green pepper, sliced
• 1 zucchini, sliced
• 1 cup corn
• 1 cup peas

Any vegetable mixture really works. I didn’t have a zucchini today so I used green beans. If you have a garden, even better! Wander around and see what’s fresh.

Pour over top:

• 2 cans tomato sauce
• 1 can stewed tomatoes
• 1 tbsp Italian seasoning
• Salt & Pepper

Cook 8 to 12 hours.

• Spread 1 cup shredded cheese over top and serve once melted.

–

DESSERT: Apple Pie
I think everyone has their preferred family recipe for this one, mine seems to change from year to year as I seek to find one that is truly special. Since we did not go apple picking this weekend (Michael was sick) we will be going next Sunday. So the apple pie is on the backburner so to speak, until then. If anyone has a tried and true apple pie recipe that they don’t mind me sharing through my blog if we like it, I would be more then willing to try it! (The crust cannot contain shortening, I am allergic to cottonseed oil.)

I hope you all have a most blessed and joyful Autumn Equinox, Mabon, Harvest Home, or whatever you celebrate. And if you celebrate none, I still hope you get outside rain or shine (rain for us this year!) and enjoy the beauty of Autumn.

(Clipart courtesy FCIT.)

In August, we hired Andrea to do the Stewart family photos (she also did the ones of Michael, Damian and I back in July.) Of course we somehow managed to pick the hottest day of the year to take them (I think it was 105F?) but we brought a water cooler full of Gatorade so it all worked out. We did the photos at Whitman College.

I love the shots Andrea took. I love this one with my father-in-law Greg and Damian. He was so happy to be outside and surrounded by people who love him. Damian is a total people person at the moment.

Here are some of my favorite pictures from the day (my favorite is the one with us all laying on the ground in a circle):

If you are in the Spokane area and looking for a photographer, I strongly recommend Andrea. She is very professional and has a lot of fun, creative ideas for poses. She can even get smiles out of my sisters-in-law! She is still working on her website at the moment, but if you want to get in touch with her let me know!

So my mom is home, she called me last night to let me know everything is okay. I was worried (hey, I am the daughter, it is my job to worry! hehe) but it was really nice to hear her. I think she scared her mom more then anyone else, since she had to wait in the emergency room with now news for awhile. Poor grandma!

Her heart was going way to fast, 190 instead of 80. They have her on some medication and want to do a small surgery in a few days. I totally think she should come to Spokane to have it done, we have world-class cardiologists running out heart and vascular programs. They probably don’t want her in a plane right now though.

Okay, I am not sure how drilling a hole in her heart is a small surgery but I am going to put faith in the fact the doctors probably know what they are talking about.

Of course she explained it that way and she is prone to use terns like “Burn a hole in my frigging heart” rather then “small incision for [x-reason]” but I assume doctors don’t make a regular business of cutting a hole in someones heart and just leaving it there. Maybe they will put a pacemaker in or something. She has to cut way way way back on the smokes too, so we will see how that goes.

Luckily she bought travelers insurance right before she left Canada (this happened in Indianapolis) so she won’t have to flee across borders from medical bills or anything. I think she cashed in some good karma on that blessing. She might still go back to Canada for the surgery though.

Anyhow it was nice to hear her, I’m going to call and check on her today. I’ll keep you all updated. Thanks for all your comments, emails and tweets yesterday, I really appreciate it.

My brother called me today and the moment I realized it was him and the ton of his voice, my mind when “oh shit”. Don’t get me wrong, my brother and I do talk, he just normally doesn’t call me, especially not at 2am his time.

My mom was taken to the hospital via ambulance today for cardiac arrhythmia. She was driving in Indianapolis with my uncle and grandma when she started having problems. I don’t know much more then that right now. I am going to call my uncle shortly but I am super worried.

My mother and I just really started reconnecting after years. I was just on the phone with her a couple weeks ago. I’m not ready for anything bad to happen – though I doubt I will ever be.

Anyhow, any prayers, positive energy or whatnot would be appreciated.

I had a bunch of dreams last night, all very disjointed and some nightmarish (though a little funny upon waking up.) These are the ones I remember clearly enough to describe:

Michael and I had just bought a house and were standing in the living room, which had wooden floors and lots of windows. I noticed the living room window was a drive thru window. I stuck my head out and a car pulled up with two of my friends (in the dream, I don’t know them in real life.) The woman, who was South African, gave me a $20 bill for something and drove off to catch a plane. She had a bear decal on the back of her car. I took the $20 to Michael and explained we should split it 50/50 so he gave me $10 of his money from his wallet and took the $20. I decided I was going to put my $10 in my gardening fund jar. I went to find the jar.

Then I woke up briefly. It was raining outside. I laid in bed for a few listening to that lovely sound and enjoying the fresh air. I dozed off.

I was walking in the forest eating a carrot when I saw a huge brown/gray bear. It saw me too and started coming towards me. I stopped, rang by bear bell and yelled at it, which didn’t affect the bear walking towards me. Apparently bear bells and yelling don’t work in dreams (I have heard they pretty much don’t work with some bears in the wild either.) The bear started trotting and I ran, at which point I realized I didn’t have shoes on – still had my carrot though! A crow flew over my head and led me to a I found a hollowed out tree stump and hid in it. But the bear found me and started ripping at the tree stump with his claws. I was utterly terrified, I knew the bear wanted my carrot and would kill me for it but I didn’t want to give it to him because, well, it was my carrot!

Then Damian woke me up. 3am! Time for potty and a boob, and then back to sleep.

Back to Michael and my new house, we had just finished moving in when a pipe broke upstairs which leaked through the ceiling onto my altar and ran the paint of a painting I made that hangs on the wall above it. I moved all the stuff and was frustrated because now we had to pay to have that problem fixed.

Then a friend came over (again a dream friend, don’t know her in real life) she had a harp with her for whatever reason. All I remember about her is that she had a mass of lovely curly hair. Her husband and a little girl were with her too. She helped me clean up some water and then played the harp to help me relax as we waited for the repairman. We talked about breastfeeding and parenting and music. Michael was playing with Damian, who was a bit older as well as the little girl. We ate chili and cornbread together too after the repairman came. Oddly enough his business logo was a bear.

Then the alarm clock went off, dang it! I have reason to believe that AZ from Kitsch and Giggles was the lady in the last dream as she plays the harp and I have found out today has curly hair. She and I have spoken a few times about breastfeeding too, (she should totally be an LLL mom.) AZ also had a dream about me last night.

Coincidence? Synchronicity? What about the bear symbol in all the dreams?

I have recently reconnect with a couple people in my family. It feels really nice to touch base again, because one of these people has been someone I could always talk to about anything without fear of being mocked or the “I’m right and you’re wrong” debate. At the same time, this all is utterly nerve wracking.

You see, a few years ago in my drive to break free from the life I was living, I pretty much perfected a method of burning bridges. So I guess, to a certain degree, I do not feel I deserve their trust again. I’ll also admit that I might be a little wary of hidden agendas, apparently my ability to trust took a hit too. I have changed so much, how much have they changed? Will they still see me the way I once was?

Still, I think it is worth taking the chance. Besides, it is not like I can get dragged into any family disputes anyhow. My nearest family is in Indianapolis (as far as I know.) Most of the rest are in either in Ontario or Mexico. My mother lives in a place in Ontario with little phone or internet access and my father and brother are the furthest. They live in the UAE which is, oh, 12 time zones away (how is tomorrow going Dad?) Ironically I talk to my father most often, since we both have skype now.

The other day it occurred to me, but for a handful of people, I hardly know my family, both my mother and fathers side. On facebook all these people friend me and I know we are related but beyond that I know virtually nothing about them. I suppose this is the sacrifice required for moving around as much as I did as a child. Not that I am complaining! I wouldn’t change my upbringing for the world, it has made me who I am.

Part of my brain says Damian should know his heritage, though I honestly am not sure if he will miss not knowing most of his biological family from my side, growing up I really didn’t miss it (until now.) He definitely does not have a shortage of local family. Most of Michael’s family lives within two or three states of us and his parents and all his siblings are within a couple hours. We also have our “framily” (friends who are like family,) in fact we are going camping with his “Aunt” Shannon and her daughter in a couple weeks. His goddessparents, Michelle and Mikcos are also local. My framily are for the most part also my spiritual circle of friends.

Still, I yearn for the family stories that I can share them with Damian as he grows – my Samhain family stories are woefully few. Honoring the ancestors is a very integral part of my faith, which is funny because I know virtually nothing about mine. I want him to know of the ancestors we set the extra place at the table for.

So I hope bridges can continue to be mended, and perhaps made into circles, so that history and laughter can be shared again (or in many cases, for the first time!)

Though Lughnasadh was a few days ago, I just finished writing my Book of Shadows page about this sabbat. I thought I would share. Let me know what you think and if you see any glaring typos. Dyslexia and proofreading do not always mesh well…

Lughnasadh: the grain harvest

The blistering first days of August are here, the parched earth does not give us much indication of cooling, but crisp Autumn mornings will soon be on our doorstep. Summer vegetables are at their peak and fill the garden and marketplace, corn and grain are being reaped and pumpkins and apples are beginning to ripen on the farms. In spite of the heat this is also a the time to begin laying down the Winter stores.

Lughnasadh is the first of three harvest sabbats in the Wheel of the Year. It is either celebrated around August 1st or the nearest full moon to it. Lughnasadh has a very convoluted history, Which is something I am certain Lugh would find immensely amusing.

Lughnasadh literally means “assembly of Lugh”. It is an Iris festival that traditionally took place at the start of the grain harvest, around August 1st. In Celtic legend, Lugh decreed that a commemorative feast be held on this day in the honor of his foster mother, the Fir Bolg queen, Tailtiu. She died clearing a forest for her people to plant grain. The legend states that she was buried beneath the hill of Tailte, which is where the first feast of Lughnasadh was held. As time passed, traditions surrounding Lughnasadh began to solidify into events and ceremonial activities designed to celebrate Tailtiu’s sacrifice as well as the bounty of the harvest.

In early Ireland, it was considered bad luck to harvest your grain any time before Lughnasadh, since that meant that the previous year’s harvest had run out early, which was a serious failing in agricultural communities. Grain has been a vital crop since the dawn of civilization as it is one of the foods that can easily be stored through the harshness of Winter. This has caused grain to become strongly associated with the cycle of death and rebirth in many ancient cultures. It is important to note that the grain referred to in old texts was most likely wheat, not corn. Corn is a crop of the Americas and did not exist in Ireland at the time Lughnasadh was founded.

Lugh is tied to the bountiful harvest as well, though not in the role of Sun God, as many Neopagans believe. This is a error that appeared in the Victorian era and is still perpetuated by many authors today, who confuse him with John Barleycorn. Lugh was actually a god of many talents, patron to craftsman and bards, who was honored for his cleverness and quick wit. He was fond of games of physical prowess as well as skill, particularly horse racing. Lugh had an affinity with storms as well, and it was considered a good omen for it to be stormy on Lughnasadh. It is Lugh who broke Summer’s hold over the land, heralding the start of the harvest. Lugh is further tied to the harvest through some of his triumph in battles with the land-spirits, in which the harvest was released for the use of Mankind.

Modern day Lughnasadh has a healthy dose of the Christianized “Lammas” mixed into it. This makes the celebration even more strongly oriented around the grain harvest. Lammas is celebrated on the first Sunday of August and is a day when everyone brought loaves of bread to church to be blessed. These loaves were baked from the first grain of the season.

In Wicca, the main figure of Lughnasadh is the Sacrificial King, sometimes called John Barleycorn. He embodies the wheat fields and is reaped/sacrificed so that we can survive the Winter. He is a powerful representation of the life and death cycle as he is reborn again come Spring when the fields are sewn again.

In our modern world, it is easy to forget the importance of the harvest. If we needed a loaf of bread, we can buy a prepackaged one from the store. If it runs out, we can easily go get another one. When our ancestors lived, the grain harvest was crucial. Whether the harvest succeeded or failed was the difference between life and death for many families. By celebrating Lughnasadh as a harvest festival, we honor our ancestors’ hard work. Lughnasadh is a time to reflect on the things we could or could not live without as well as the abundance in our lives.

To me, community is at the heart of all the sabbats and my whole belief system revolves around stewardship of the Earth. Though we live in a world where so many foods are at our finger tips, the sabbats wonderful time to share and appreciate the local harvest. What better way to celebrate the turning of the wheel then to celebrate what Mother Earth gives us freely from our area? Lughnasadh is an ideal time to gather with friends and work together to preserve the bounty that was nurtured throughout the Summer. It also makes for quick work so we can get back out into the Summer sun! I think Lugh would appreciate the crafting of fine preserves as well as the rush to get back outside to celebrate with some games!

Lughnasadh: in our home

(This is from a page in my BoS where I list family activities, crafts, home and altar decorations and other miscellaneous ideas.)

Activities:

• Bardic Contest: Lugh is the patron of bards, have a storytelling contest
• Board Games: chess, checkers, nine man morris
• House Blessing Ritual (done every sabbat)
• Trip to Greenbluff or Farmers Market: to appreciate Mother Earth’s bounty
• Races: hobby horse, sack, or three-legged races are amusing alternatives to the more traditional but impractical horse races.
• Riddle Contests: to honor Lugh’s cleverness
• Other Games: badminton, boche ball, horseshoes, frisbee

Crafts:

• Bread Making
• Corn Crafts: cornhusk chains, corn dollies
• Felt Suns
• Harvesting and Preserving Food: canning, dehydrating, freezing
• Lughnasadh Candles
• Seed Necklaces: made with dried beans and indian corn

Decorations:

• The crafts listed above
• Burial Cairns
• Scythe, bolline
• Seasonal flowers and foods
• Suns

Lughnasadh: feast

Feast Blessing:
(modified from one is Scott Cunningham’s “Wicca, a guide for the solitary practitioner”)

Now is the Time of the First Harvest,
When the bounties of Nature give of themselves so that we may survive.
Eternal Spirits of the ripening fields,
Grant us the understanding of sacrifice as you fall beneath the sickle.
We pass now into the wanning year, its darkness brings deepening wisdom.

We gather here to welcome the First Harvest,
Mixing its energies with our own so that we may continue our journey.
Eternal Spirits, we offer our thanks for your guidance,
And renew our pledge to continue our stewardship of the Earth.

May the nodding grain loose its seed and bury in the Mother’s breast,
Ensuring rebirth in the warmth of next Spring.

Click here for Lughnasadh Feast menu.

Lughnasadh: wheat field guided meditation

(I wrote in 2007 for a Lughnasadh group ritual.)

Everyone get in a comfortable meditation pose and gently close your eyes.

Begin breathing slow and relaxed breaths from your belly up. Feel yourself becoming wonderfully relaxed. All tension and stress is falling away, like drifting autumn leaves.

Feel your feet relax, then your legs, thighs, buttocks. All your lower body, perfectly relaxed. Relax your abdomen, your chest, let you heart release its worries for this time. Relax, warm and relaxed. Now flex and relax your hands, then your arms and shoulders. Tension flowing out of you, all relaxed. All tension leaving your neck, your face, your thoughts, warm and relaxed. All physical and mental tension is draining away. Feel at ease with your surroundings, calm and at peace.

Take a moment now to enjoy this wonderful feeling of completely relaxed, surrounded by peace.

Imagine you are in a lush golden wheat field, the first harvest is ripe, ready to be reaped. It is late afternoon and the Lughnasadh sun baths you with warm gentle rays. You are at peace here, the wheat, the sun, the earth, they all welcome you to this place.

The Sun sends His solar energy down to the grain, bringing life. Feel the healing solar energy flow into you. As this warm and invigorating energy fills you feel it touch your face and neck; arms, chest and heart; flowing through your stomach, legs and feet and out into the earth.

The Earth sends Her own energy through you, peaceful and loving. This energy penetrates your every cell and rises through you, out your crown chakra – at the top of your head. Your whole body is a golden waterfall, you are a conduit, being cleanses as running water cleanses. You are at peace.

Bathe in this light for a few moments… Know that in experiencing this golden light pouring into you, you allow the loving, healing forces of the universe into you, to help you be whole, physically, mentally and emotionally. Feel the beauty, the peacefulness, and the health that is in you, and know that at all times you can be at one with yourself, the sun, the earth and all the universe.

Now slowly, gently, as you begin to return to the here and now, you realize you really are feeling rested, renewed, re-energized, ready to meet the challenges presented by any day… In a few moments I am going to count from one to five.

Upon the number three, your eyes will open, and on the count of five, you will once again be wide awake, feeling fine and in perfect health.

One, two, three, your eyes are now opening. Four, five, you are now wide awake, feeling wonderful and in perfect health.

This past Saturday, our photographer friend Andrea did some family photos of us in Manito Park. It was really fun. I really love how the photos turned out, Andrea did an excellent job.

We are hoping to get her to take a set every few months for the first year. We are going to be getting prints of a few of our favorites from this shoot. I can’t wait to see them! (and frame and scrapbook them. I have been working on Damian’s “First Year” scrapbook lately.)

This one of us is one of my favorite of the three of us (we are getting a couple extra prints of it for family too.)

These are a few of the others from that day:

My Aunt Ruth wanted a closeup photo of Damian so that she could analyze him for family traits. I was happy to do so since I love snapping photos of my little man. So here is his closeup (click the thumbnail for a bigger photo of course.)

Damian’s eyes are blue-green like Michael’s though they have some hints of hazel like mine, they are still changing so I am not sure which way they will settle. I think his hair will be dark and wavy like his daddy’s. Damian has a Darwin’s tubercle on both ears, which comes from me. Nice to know him and I are more like monkeys then the rest of you!

From left to right: Kim, Greg, Ariella, Lydia and Ginanne holding her daughter Emily. (Michael, Jordan and I are off frame.)

On Sunday and Monday, Michael and I were up at my in-laws home in Elk, WA. Ginanne, Jordan and their daughter Emily, also came up, though they camped out down in the apple orchard. After they had set up their camp, we all decided to go down to the orchard and have a campfire. We roasted weenies and made smores (mmm smores!)

I really love Greg and Kim’s property, which is in a pretty densely wooded area near Mount Spokane State Park. It use to mostly border the park but the state recently sold some land to some developers who are changing it into a rural housing development (grrr.) Greg and Kim have a natural pond right by their orchard in the Spring. It is more of a swampy wetland for the rest of the year, but even then, I love all the rushes and wildlife in it (except the gigantic bloodsucking insects.) The orchard is nice too, though it was pretty much abandoned to the forest a long time ago, the apples are of an heirloom variety I believe.

On Monday morning, after gobs of pancakes and strawberries, Kim, Michael and I went for a hike around the property and out onto the land that is being developed. The people developing it have logged it pretty heavily. The lots are going to be quite large (6 or so acres) and the land is currently going for $6000 an acre. It is kind of sad to see the natural area destroyed, especially since it was state park land and I did not know the state could sell land they bought with my tax dollars.

It was really windy on our hike but also really refreshing. I love getting out an walking in nature and walking is really good for me right now, though if I try to go to fast I get Braxton Hicks contractions! I especially love all the wildflowers around this time of year up around Greg and Kim’s property. I’ll be posting several photos of them in my photoblog over the next few days.

After we got back from our hike and swapped photos (some of the photos in my gallery were taken by Kim, they are the ones with date stamps) we had burgers and potato salad and watched Pirates 3 (I honestly don’t get what all the hype is regarding those movies, maybe they just aren’t my thing though.) We normally visit the grave of a soldier at the Elk cemetery on Memorial Day, but Michael and I were so tired by that point that we just came home. (I have a lot more photos from the weekend, especially our hike, here.)

I had my ultrasound today, the baby is head down now and all is well. I am also now at the point I can go into labor without him being considered premature. Only 20 days till my due date!

(Sunrise in dowtown Spokane.)

The Lupercalia is an ancient, possibly pre-Roman pastoral festival, observed from February 13 to February 15 to avert evil spirits and purify the city, and increase good health and fertility. Perhaps this is where some aspects of Valentines came from, though the history of big holidays is certainly a muddled one. Either way I hope everyone has a wonderful day, I think my Aunt Ruth described Valentines Day best:

Valentine’s Day is not about chocolates and jewelry and special dinners and cards, but a day to think about true love and commitment no matter what our circumstances are.

Other then blogging, Michael and I have been pretty busy lately. Every Wednesday we have our Bradley classes and we are also working on reorganizing our apartment. Mostly I am focusing on tidying up and this weekend we are going to work on moving some furniture around (before anyone says it, yes I will be careful.) I am really grateful for how well Michael and I work together as a team, I know a lot of relationships do not have that good of communication.

Cleaning and rearranging aside, I have spent quite a bit of time in meditation and prayer recently. I know a lot of Pagans who do not pray, or rather, do not use the word “pray”. Perhaps it is too strong of a word implying that we are merely pawns, rather then players in our own fate. for me prayer is a way of connecting with an external divine source (rather then the internal one I access though meditation) to become empowered.

But yes, I have been praying for two people, and my cat too (who is starting to do better, thank you for all the advice!) I am praying for my friend’s daughters has developed PTSD and she is having an incredibly hard time cooping with the events that caused it. She is now back home but it will be a long road to balance for her. I am also praying for my Uncle Stephen who has been diagnosed with something called Horton’s Disease, which sounds infinitely more painful then my simple migraines. Part of me sees events in life such as these as a test of faith, however that does not make it any easier to see those you love in pain.

I should probably get back to cleaning now. I need to reorganized the storage space under the stairs. Who knows that lurks under there…

(From Two Lumps which eternally reminds me of Windigo and Aos…)

A question for cat connoisseurs…

Windigo is obsessive about cleaning not just his own fur, but also Aos’s. He will clean himself and Aos to the point of throwing up some pretty scary solid hairballs. Some of you might remember last year he got a bowel obstruction (which was passed after a couple days at the vet) it turned out to be a hair blockage of his own making.

Now the weather is warming again and he is starting the obsessive licking cycle again, the hairballs are also just beginning to start again. I brush him, but honestly no hair comes off with the cat brush. Is he pulling his fur out? He doesn’t seem to be going bald anywhere, maybe his tongue is more efficient then my brush. I use a natural hairball formula which seems to work okay when he gets it once or twice a day.

Has anyone else experience this problem with one of their cats? Could I be doing anything else? I really do not want this to turn into another $500 vet bill.

Someone I know at work sugguested that I get some cat grass from Petco, she said it would aid their digestion. Do you think it would help? Windigo and Aos are indoor cats, so they don’t any roughage from the great outdoors. (I am not against letting cats outdoors by the way, we just happen to live 20 feet from 29th Avenue which is a main road in Spokane.) Aos doesn’t get the hairballs Windigo does, however that is probably because he lets Windigo clean him instead of doing it himself…

(Michael and I at Twelfth Night yesterday.)

The greatest blessing is having someone to come home to who loves you for all that you are, especially on those days when nothing goes right.

~~~

My tea’s gone cold, I’m wondering why
I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window
and I can’t see at all
And even if I could it’d all be grey,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it’s not so bad,
it’s not so bad

I drank too much last night, got bills to pay,
my head just feels in pain
I missed the bus and there’ll be hell today,
I’m late for work again
And even if I’m there, they’ll all imply
that I might not last the day
And then you call me and it’s not so bad,
it’s not so bad and

I want to thank you
for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you
is having the best day of my life

Push the door, I’m home at last
and I’m soaking through and through
Then you hand me a towel
and all I see is you
And even if my house falls down,
I wouldn’t have a clue
Because you’re near me and

I want to thank you
for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you
is having the best day of my life

- Dido: Thank You

This is my sister-in-law with one of her cats, Calico, at Michael’s family Thanksgiving gathering yesterday.
I know I said I probably would pass on posting today but I have a surprising amount of energy.

On Saturday Michael and I had a house warming party. Some of our friends came over and we had a big potluck dinner (I successfully made pot roast!) and played Scattergories, watched Wickerman (the original one!) and talked (and talked and talked…) We got some awesome unexpected gifts.

Dottie and Buddy brought us a cool sculpture. I should take some pictures… They were afraid we were going to think it was weird and ugly. Yes it is weird but beautiful. And hey! Michael and I are weird too, so we adore it! It is made of terracotta and looks rather shamanic in style. It is five people standing in a circle representing friendship. There is a dish in the center of them which currently has a candle in. Of course, hehe.

Lily, Mikcos and Nathan brought us two really pretty candles (one orange and one green) and a beautiful orange and green afgan which Lily crocheted especially for us (in 3 weeks, wow! Power crocheting.) You might be thinking, why green and orange? Those are Michael and my favorite colors and she really covered the spectrum of shades! It’s so awesome. (You can actually see it in our webcam on the back of the futon.) I spent most of Sunday wrapped up in it on the couch (watching a Heroes marathon.)

Sal and Rusty brought us lots of picture frames, one of things we really needed. I am covering the wall up the stairs with photos of Michael and I with friends and family. Now just to print off some pictures… They also left a casserole dish full of homemade mac and cheese at our place, yummy! My precious.

All the gifts were beautiful, almost as beautiful as the great time that was spent with our friends. We stayed up late into the night. Nothing is better then being surrounded by people who love and accept you for who you are, and don’t want you to change one bit.

~~~

Hey and thanks to whoever requested a blessing for the baby and me for the Temple Cauldron Ritual this full moon (which is tomorrow!) My first obgyn appointment is today.

I got to work this morning and my dad had emailed me about our dog, Kato (who lives with my mother in Spain) died over the weekend. He had tumors and began having seizures and my mom had to take him to the vet to have him put to sleep. I wish I could have been there for Mom and Kato.

I haven’t seen him in a couple years but he was the dog I grew up with, my big gentle potato-head puppy. The picture at the start of this post was him in 1998, with a kitten we had just gotten, Nova. The other one is from 2006 (Nova got big!) they have always slept together.

Love you Kato.

My first niece, Emily Cheryl Michelle was born July 11th at 9:32am to Michael’s sister, Ginanne and her husband Jordan. She weighs 8lbs even, we have yet to see her but I am so happy for Ginanne and Jordan and their first beautiful child!

Look! Pictures! (taken by Kim.)

Omg, I’m an aunt!

This past Memorial Day I decided to get in touch with my inner Joseph Smith playing an intense game of stick-pole with my brother-in-law.

Though this is not really a LDS game, I hadn’t heard of it until watching a movie with my in-laws with them where Joseph Smith is playing stick-pole with some guy in a barn.

I have an odd sense of humour.

I love when people come over to visit or stay the night. Michael and I have an open door policy which is great because it gives me the opportunity to cooking for more then two and make people comfortable. (Maybe I should have a bed and breakfast someday, a retirement dream perhaps?)

Michael’s cousin, Isaac, stayed with us last night. He is a really cool guy and we all got along really well. I love meeting someone of another faith and being able to have an intellectual discussion with them without it turning into a “I’m right, your wrong” fight. He is lds if you are wondering, like most of Michael’s family.

Isaac is moving to Seattle to start a job his cousin has lined up for him I think. I definitely hope he comes back occasionally though, especially for the June family reunion of the Stott’s (the maternal side of Michael’s family) and our handfasting. Maybe we will have a LAN party sometime…

I hope your holidays were lovely. Our Yule and Christmas were fun. Thank you to everyone who sent a card or gift.

Michael and I went to a Blot on the 22nd. I still feeling to urge to hail random good things and the gods at every turn! I took some of my double twisted red tapers (pictures sometime today) for the gift exchange which were well received and renamed “twisted sex candles”. Maybe I should have put some kinks in them… Anyhow it was very fun. It was also Jessi’s (the hostess) birthday and she got lots of cool new sound equipment from her husband, Brett, which will help for the Goddess Music Project. A few of us are getting together soon and starting work on that, so I don’t want to say too much for now, less I jinx it.

Michael and I had our own Yule gathering on the 23rd, which went very well. I made each of the families that came a little gift basket with a raspberry bottle filled with my raspberry vinegar, a pair of red tapers, a jar of my cranstrawberry jam, our annual newsletter and an apple and orange. They were well received. Oo and I got some lovely herbs from several people to add to my hoard. I need to remember that there is a lavender farm outside Spokane and go there next growing season since it is a pick-your-own.

On the 24th and 25th we went up to Michael’s parents’ in Elk, WA for their Christmas. All Michael’s siblings (except Justin) were there. Ginanne is just starting to show her momma belly (she is 3 months pregnant), we got her and her husband a crockpot and pink crocheted blanket. In Michael’s family you have a different person to gift each year. We got a family photo (from Ginanne’s wedding a few months ago), some decorative gravel and a hot cocoa kit from Ariella (Michael’s 12-year-old sister… or is she 13?) Cocoa is already gone… My mom and dad sent Michael and I Leathermans and my brother sent us Nikon binoculars. Unfortunately we have had snow and freezing fog yesterday and today so I have yet to use them.

(Lots of photos here! – This link actually works unlike the one in the last entry.)

So all in all it was a beautiful Yule, I ate to much, didn’t sleep enough, drank and hailed, gifted and was given gifts and just had a jolly good time.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. Michael and I were up at his parents today, it was lots of fun.

Turkey, mashed potatoes, yams and marshmallows, green beans, bread, gravy, cranstrawberry jam, cranberry relish, cranberry jelly, fruit jello, pumpkin pie, smore pie, banana cream pie, apple bread with autumn jam…

Thanksgiving is all about the family and food. I am about to pop. So peace out and g’night.

Written by my father-in-law about Ginanne and Jordan’s reception. Lots of pictures (not the ones from the photographer yet though) and witty timeline of events.

Tomorrow is my last 12 hour day until I move back to my normal part time schedule at work. Yes!