I have been thinking a lot lately, perhaps too much if you know what I mean. Couple that with Ivy’s latest growth spurt and teething, as well as Damian retesting his boundaries as of late (especially when I am nursing Ivy and he knows I can’t keep as close an eye on him) I have been feeling a little frayed around the edges.
I try to keep my blog nice and light, but sometimes it just needs to be an outlet, so here we go! Being a mommy of two is tough! Some days I feel like I don’t even exist. Not that I’m physically absent, but that my desires and dreams are absent, that which makes up “Me”. I feel like those those fundamental parts are swept away in the tsunami of motherhood. It is so very overwhelming. (Completely Honest Moment: Sometimes when I am really frustrated, I put Ivy in her crib, Damian in his room and shut myself in the bathroom. I sit in the empty tub for a few minutes to center myself.) Mommies need time outs too.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my family and the good moments far outweigh the bad, but some days I’d rather be doing something easier, like wrestling alligators or charming cobras. Sometimes I feel like I am the only one in the world who feels this way, no one ever talks about the darker moments of motherhood. It can be a little lonely.
This past Saturday my friend Andrea held a Blessingway for me. It was so much fun to get together with my women friends and celebrate this pregnancy. 
Andrea took all these lovely photos of the occasion and there are more in a set on my flickr account.
After indulging in lots of delicious fruit (quite possibly one of the shortest ways to my heart,) opening a few lovely gifts and chatting it up, my friends did a belly cast on me. I don’t think I stopped laughing the entire time, with maybe a couple squeals from cold water running down my side (which was quickly rewarmed and the bowl placed on a heating pad.) 
Michael and Damian watched. Michael was as vastly amused as I was which was a comfort to Damian who was rather perplexed by what was going on.
I am undecided what I am going to paint on it and probably will not get to it until Ivy arrives either way. I am thinking maybe some design with lunar moths as they have been so prevalent in my dreams during this pregnancy (as have coyotes and shooting stars for that matter.) I have a feeling the birth will inspire me as to the design.
It was an exceptionally wonderful day and am reminded once again of how very blessed I am to have the friends that I do. I love you all.
I watched Rachelle, my friend Shannon’s 8-year-old daughter today. It wasn’t nearly as traumatic and I was worried it would be. Of course it helped my neighbor’s 10-year-old daughter was home and they played all day between my and her yard.
Did you know that the mother who controls the juice boxes controls the world? Mwahahahaha! The power of snacks!
Can’t believe I just said that… Anyhow, I’ll be watching her again tomorrow and then she started school on Thursday. Even though she basically took care of herself all day, I feel exhausted! Damian really wanted to roll with the big kids but he isn’t quite there yet. So there was lots of chasing around and a couple “but-why-can’t-I!” tantrums involved. Draining! At least he gives me my workout. I think it is impossible for me to be out of shape with my personal trainer toddler.
Speaking of my spawn, this pregnancy has been treating me well so far. Last week’s checkup with marvelously well, I’m right on all my numbers, as are Ivy’s. Her heartbeat is 145 for those who previously asked. The only problem thus far is that my sciatica is starting to rear it’s evil little head again, which happened at this same time when I was carrying Damian. I recognized it early this time though and have been working on keeping it from becoming debilitating again. So far so good! Also something is really aggravating my sinuses this week, probably the wildfires up north. It burns when I breath and the insides of my ears itch like hell! Bleh. It isn’t as bad this evening though.
This past week I have been strongly considering buying a crib. Damian never used one because we bed-share (and now he has a toddler bed.) When he was younger either I napped with him during the day or laid him on a floormat. Since it was just me and him I never felt it was a safety issue. However Ivy will need a safe place to nap during the day, away from her inquisitive and playful brother. Luckily Shannon gifted us with a crib which is in excellent condition (she bed-shared with Rachelle too so it is only slightly used.) We had to buy the mattress, but I would have replaced one anyhow. Yay for wonderful friends and saving some coin!
As for the picture at the top of this post, it felt weird posting without one so I give you gratuitous butt shots and bean stealing from this past weekend’s trip to AC Farms in Otis Orchards. You can never have enough green beans.
