(One of the projects I am working on that Damian is helping with is building new raised beds. He is really enjoying helping me double dig the ground which they will be built on! And yes, he is running in circles through the freshly turned dirt waving a little plastic garden fork in this photo.)

I know that every pregnancy is different (I have been told so ever since I conceived Damian and probably before then too!) but the differences are really quite remarkable. My physical condition is not really that different from when I was last pregnant but my psychological condition definitely is. Not to say I have gone to stark raving mad (too late! Mwahahahaha!) and it is really nothing negative at all… Let me try to explain. When I was pregnant with Damian, I was acutely aware of my pregnancy; every kick or flutter, every moment of nausea or cramp, every little thing, and now with Ivy I have hardly noticed any of that at all. Sure she kicks, and I am definitely noticing the nudges to the bladder more often as she grows, but I do not feel the intense connection with this pregnancy that I did with Damian. Not that it really bothers me, I don’t have time to worry about it.

I would hazard to guess that chasing around a toddler all day, as well as all the other domestic chores and projects in my life are a big factor in why I have very much compartmentalized this pregnancy. I am not concerned about it but when I really think about it I kind of miss the connection. I think I might need to set aside some time for just her and I, maybe while Damian naps. On some visceral level I feel it is important for me to connect with her at this point in her development too. Does that seem silly? It is not as if she is going to remember me rubbing my belly and talking to her.

I do not want to regret anything about this pregnancy, I have one regret with Damian’s which I want to “fix” this time. I did not have prenatal photos taken, this October I am hoping Andrea will be willing to take them for me. She is the one who did the Stewart photos last year as well as our family photos with then month-old Damian. I want to make a birthing necklace that will be a mandala for Ivy when she is older with this pregnancy too. I have decided that I am going to have a mother blessing (sometimes called a blessing way) in October, rather then a baby shower. Other then a handful of items, I have most of what I need for Ivy since we needed it for Damian. A mother blessing is a more spiritually oriented ceremony then a shower, here is a nice little article talking about them.

One thing that has not changed at all from Damian’s pregnancy is the wild pregnancy dreams. The carrion eating animals are still even present, though whereas with Damian they were condors and vultures, with Ivy they are coyotes and jackals. While that might creep some people out, I find the dreams immensely comforting.

Anyhow, I just thought I would post some of my thoughts regarding this pregnancy since some people have asked. For the curious, to answer the remaining questions I have gotten breifly. I will be using a midwife again, still Linda and Beth, and am planning a homebirth assuming all continues to go well (I am not really concerned with anyone’s opinions regarding this, I assume your pro or con opinions have no changed since I made a similar choice with my last birth.) Physically, other then the occasional migraine (which are going away as my pregnancy progresses as they did with Damian,) I feel fantastic. Ivy is growing just fine and her heartbeat is strong. Her kicks to my bladder are becoming quite strong too. I am the right weight and my blood pressure is perfect. I am not quite as limber as before naturally (this bump is getting in the way!) but I have managed to keep with Damian and my daily walks and yoga. Damian is starting to notice Ivy kick when he sits against me, which is more amusing then I thought it would be, hehe.

Damian is starting to get old enough that he wants to help with everything, and while that doesn’t always help (if you know what I mean) I know he is going to be a fantastic older brother and great mommy helper when Ivy arrives. Both of which give me comfort and make me happy. I am happy. Everyone keeps asking me that for some reason. I am very much looking forward to meeting Ivy (her official due date is December 4th for the curious.) I am thrilled with my life and where it is leading, I am in love with my husband, I adore my son, I have fantastic and supportive friends. Most of all, I am also thrilled that we are nearing autumn, cooler weather sounds so wonderful right now.

Last week (just before the plague hit) I finished woodburning the top of our family altar. A friend made the solid pine piece as a handfasting gift to us. I struggled for a long time with what I wanted on it and I decided in the end that simple was best. The wood still needs to be finished. I am going to do that this summer with tung oil.

Up until last week, I was certain I was going to do my full personal symbol on it. Now I think I am going to leave it as is and engrave the central moon triquetra on that glass disk That will have to wait till after the move though. Tonight we are taking the altar over to our new home and doing a small house blessing ritual, so I am glad I finished it.

Comment to this post and I will give you 5 subjects/items that I associate you with. Then post this on your blog and elaborate on the subjects given. Link the post to me if you do this meme so that I don’t miss it!

Or if you want, just comment here on five things that you associate with me and I will share my thoughts on what you say. I will only comment on each thing once though, (but I don’t mind if you say something someone else said!)

Zyleeth said:

Family: This is definitely one of the most important aspects in my life, though my definition of family is not necessarily defined by blood relation. In fact I think, for the most part, blood ties are a very shallow reason to want to be around someone. I have friends who are family to me. I don’t need to agree completely ideologically or spiritually with a person for them to be family, but I do need to feel welcomed, respected, and the other person needs to have an open mind.

Intelligence: How flattering! I suppose I do have a decent head on my shoulder. I really like to have a plan and to work through all the possibilities in my mind before executing an important task. That said, I trust my gut a lot of the time when results could fall either way.

Passion: Ice ice baby! Wrong kind of passion? I certainly have a passion for life, I adore this little blue ball of life we are riding around the universe. Greatest rollercoaster ever. I have some topics I am more passionate about then others of course, like homesteading and green living, but I love learning about just about anything. I am passionate about people too, I love meeting new people and hearing their stories. I truly believe we can learn from every experience, good or bad.

Phoenixes: Ah, Zyleeth knows! I adore phoenixes, though my views of them are not necessarily traditional. My avatar is a water phoenix, an blue, silver, orange and gold beauty with trailing tails erupting out of the ocean (or river, or well… not puddles though) dripping with flame and water. A symbol of rebirth from the Earth’s womb of course, as well as a reflection of the more mercurial aspect of my subconscious.

Spirituality: I am an intensely spiritual person, and I tend to view almost all parts of my life as some aspect of my spirituality. I am also a very open person so if people ask I will freely discuss my beliefs. Family, living with respect for to the earth, community and ancestor veneration are probably the most important facets of my spirituality. I do not put much faith in deities, nor do I see them as all powerful, but I do believe in wise spirits and they have my respect. When seeking other like-minded people I tend to connect best with Pagans and other Earth-based spiritualists, but I like that I can find common ground with almost any faith (though they do not necessarily see the same correlations.)

Zuca said:

(He also elaborated on each other items in his comment which he didn’t need to do, but is a pretty cool read.)

Belief: See Zyleeth’s list (spirituality.)

Hard Worker: I love having results, so I guess I am a hard worker, that said, if I do not really want to do something, I really won’t. Like right now, I could be cleaning the kitchen, but I would rather be answering this meme. It is important to kick back and have fun too.

Intelligence: See Zyleeth’s list.

Optimism: Probably one of my most recognizable personality traits is this. I am often the incurable optimist, oddly enough, it is not because I necessarily am inside, but it is because someone has to be, and optimists are in short supply in the world. More often then not it is harder to see the good in people then the bad so it is a personal challenge for me too. Besides I heard optimists live longer.

Stubbornness: I would be lying if I said I was not stubborn, but I’ll pick it over being walked on. Generically speaking people seem to correlate optimism with doormat and think I will be a pushover. Little do they know, mwahahahaha! Seriously though I can become really pigheaded if I do not watch it, especially when I have a new idea.

(Left to Right: Michael, Shannon, Ileen holding Damian, Andrea, Peter and Caswallon.)

Community is an important aspect of my spiritual self, and to that extent friendship is too. I can’t imagine life without good friends spending good times together (or supporting each other through any bad times.) I am an extrovert, I am a people person, I need people to share with to be balanced and happy.

I feel blessed with a wonderful talented amazing circle of friends, who I am able to see often and who accept my family wholeheartedly. I am blessed that we can get crazy silly and serious when need be with each other. I am blessed with honest friends who are not afraid of sharing their opinions, and who know themselves, and who are still open-minded enough to be accepting of new ideas. I am blessed with friends so close that they feel like family and that Damian has such fantastic “aunts and uncles” to grow up knowing.

Michael and I quite possibly have some of the greatest friends in the world. They are made of pure awesome (with several cups of sexy piratiness added in.) We might not always agree but we can always get along. Love you guys!

If today be sunny and bright, Winter again will show its might.
If today be cloudy and gray, Winter soon will pass away.

In northern climates, the first days of February look nothing like Spring, but if you look closely you can see the small but sturdy signs of changing seasons begin to appear. Maybe it rains more often then it snows, or the days are noticeably longer, maybe the wind’s bite is a little less harsh, or the sun a little warmer. Whatever the sign is, it hints that Spring is just around the corner.

Oimelc falls on February 1st, approximately half way between Winter Solstice and the Vernal Equinox. It literally means “ewe’s milk”, and refers to the ewes are nursing their newly born lambs, another indication of the coming of Spring. It is sometimes called Imbolc, Brighid, Lupercalia (not celebrated until the 13th) or Candlemas (though this refers to a Catholic holiday.) It is sometimes also celebrated on the full moon nearest to February first, we do this in our family.

As with many of the Pagan sabbats, Oimelc’s history is firmly rooted in Celtic tradition, though it also borrows some Roman and Christian ideas. Lupercalia was an ancient, possibly pre-Roman, festival where all evil spirits were driven out of the city and spirits of health and fertility were invited in. Old hearth fire were extinguished and new ones lit, old candles were also replaced and blessed. Many of Lupercalia’s customs were integrated into Catholicism when the Roman Empire converted, minus the orgies of course.

In Celtic culture, this was a time of weather divination, usually done by observing the hibernation patterns of snakes, many believe that this custom evolved into the secular Groundhog Day. The snake was a creature revered for its sacred wisdom. The snake was one of the many animals associated with the goddess Brighid, to whom this day is also given to, Là Fhéill Bhrìghde. She was such a deeply ingrained symbol to the Celtic tribes, the Christian missionaries chose to make her a saint rather then try to remove her from importance.

Brighid was the keeper of the sacred flame and guardian of home and hearth, though she is said to have had two sisters, Brighid the Physician and Brighid the Smith. Most people see these three women as aspects of the same goddess, one of poetry, healing, and smithcraft.

In Scottish legend is the said that one the eve of Oimelc, the Cailleach (Old Woman Winter) takes a journey to a sacred well on a magical island. As dawn breaks, she drinks from it and is transformed into Bride (another spelling of Brighid), the beautiful maiden who’s white wand turns the bare earth green again. Again, many people see the Cailleach and Bride and Brighid as one and the same, often referring to her as a triple goddess, at once maiden, mother and crone.

All these celebrations have led to very diverse Oimelc celebration among modern Pagans. This is a time many will reevaluate personal relationships and habits to decide what needs to be discarded in their lives. Renewal of old pledges or commitments to new ones are done at this time as well. This emotional purging is often accompanied by physical purging, either by beginning Spring cleaning or decluttering altars and other spiritual supplies. Many Pagans make or purchase their candles for the year around this time and consecrate them on Oimelc.

On a personal level, I rarely do much on Oimelc. It has taken me a long time to be able to connect with this sabbat though it is easier now that I have children, it has always felt like more of a home and hearth day to me then anything else. As I have become acclimated to life in the Inland Northwest I have started to see the unique beauty in this time of year too, rather then only seeing a series of cloudy long dark days.

To me, Oimelc represents a hidden transformation. I feel the coming of Spring in my heart more then see it in the land. The increasing daylight lightens my mood and renews my energy so that I can work on projects that have probably taken a back burner during the drearier days Winter. I begin planning my garden on Oimelc and meditate on what I would like to see grow in my life and in my community. If we listen closely we can hear the land whispering of the changing seasons. The Vernal Equinox is only seven weeks away and Oimelc celebrates the anticipation of Spring.

Oimelc: in our home

(Collecting reeds with our friend Sal to make Brighid’s Crosses.)

Activities:

• Bell ringing purification procession
• Burning Winter Solstice greens
• Candle making and consecrating
• Ritual: initiations, dedications
• Spring cleaning
• Visiting a spring or well
• Writing or read poetry

Crafts:

• Bread Making
• Brighid’s Wheel
• Candle Making
• Knitting and Weaving

Decorations:

• Candles
• Cauldron
• Colors: red, white
• Hibernating animals
• Seasonal plants and foods
• Suns
• Woolen items

Oimelc: feast

We went over to some friends this year for Imbolc, so I just made bread and dip to share. Otherwise I would have made red (tomato) and white raviolis with cheese filling, and granitas from fruit I froze last summer. Maybe next year!

–

BREAD: focaccia
This year I added 1/4 cup chopped dried tomatoes that I packed in oil this summer. I also infused some of the oil with basil and oregano and used that as well.

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BREAD DIP: Sun-dried Tomato and Basil

• 8 sun-dried tomatoes
• 1 cup extra virgin olive oil
• 1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
• 1/4 cup Parmesan cheese
• 2 cloves garlic
• 2 tsp dried basil (2 tbsp fresh if you have it)
• 1/2 tsp cayenne

Put everything into a blender and pulse till smooth. Let sit for 6 hours or overnight.

I hope you all have a most blessed and joyful Oimelc, Winter is drawing to a close and the wheel turns to the warmth of Spring.

Breath.
Breath love into the palms of your hands
and place your flaming palms over your heart.
Let this warmth melt your fears like wax before a fire
and watch the delicious softening reveal the wildflower of your heart.
We must live with Hearts Wide Open.
Hearts Wildly Open.

    – Kali Heydel

Brightly burns our fire tonight.
Magic dances with candlelight.

Hold my hand and join in song.
Raise the Sun King bright and strong!

Dark is giving way to light.
Brightly burns the fire tonight.

Winter Solstice is the shortest day and longest night of the year. It falls around December 21st of each year. It is a festival day in many cultures often calling for bright lights and fires, freshly cut evergreens, feasting with loved ones and singing and dancing. These festivities serve to rekindle the human spirit in the heart of winter.

In many modern Pagan traditions, Winter Solstice, is a celebration of the rebirth of the sun. Many still hold vigils awaiting the dawn, heralding the sun as the God reborn from the sacred womb of the Goddess. In other traditions a great battle is waged between the Oak King and Holly King where the Oak King triumphs returning to the world to longer warmer days.

It is a near certainty that Winter Solstice was of significant importance to ancient people, especially Proto-Celtic tribes. The evidence of this is obvious in the layouts of the stone monuments of New Grange in Ireland and Stonehenge in Britain. Each of these sites was carefully built to line up with the solstice sunrise. It can be suggested that the marking of midwinter was important for ancient communities because the people needed an approximate idea of how long their stored provisions had to last.

The most common alternate name for Winter Solstice is Yule a term originating from ancient Norse and Germanic tribes. It began as a celebration marking a 60 day time beginning at the lunar midwinter, but by the late Viking Age, it had become a great solstitial midwinter festival that amalgamated the traditions of various midwinter celebrations across Europe. On the the eve of Yule a huge log was lit in honor Thor, god of thunder, and feasting would continue until it burned out, which could be up to twelve days! A portion of the log was saved to be used in the lighting of the next year’s log.

Winter Solstice, as with many sabbats, has been incorporated into other religious celebrations. Most notably, it shares it’s place in the wheel of the year with the Christian religious observance of Christmas, which celebrates the birth of Jesus. Many of the traditions common throughout the Christian season correlate to ancient Pagan traditions. There is nothing wrong with this mixing of traditions of course, if anything it reflects how interrelated belief systems can be. Many of the most prevalent traditions celebrated by modern western culture today are echoes of ancient practices.

Santa is an example of a mix of new and old. Many parallels can be seen between Santa and the Germanic god Odin. There are legends that tell of Odin leading a hunting party through the sky on the solstice. He rode upon an eight-legged horse named Sleipnir who could leap great distances, which can be compared to Santa’s reindeer flying through the night. On the eve of the solstice, children would place their boots by the chimney filled with offerings for Sliepnir (carrots, straw or sugar.) In thanks Odin would leave them candy and small gifts.

The tradition of leaving out boots on Yule survived the Christianization of Germanic culture and Odin’s deeds might have become mixed with the legend of Saint Nicholas. Over time These men became Santa and those boots by the chimney became the stockings hanging from the mantle. I have heard that the Goddess Freya rose through the sky in a chariot pulled by stags and gave gifts for the 12 days after the solstice, but I have not been able to find too much information about this. If it is true though, it explains the sleigh with reindeer!

Since a large part of my spiritual practice involves honoring the ancestors I like to take a few moments on the solstice to remember what it must have been like for them. Winter was the season of death, a time for the earth to rest, renewing itself for the birth of Spring. Being in tune with the rhythms of the land, our ancestors would have known that despite the darkness, soon the light would return to the earth, bringing with it life. I can see why the Winter Solstice was so important. It welcomed back the much needed Sun.

To me, Winter Solstice heralds the returning sun as an eternal spirit and light brining. The returning sun reminds us to love our life passionately and to to reawakening our goals that may have been dampened by the long nights. It is a reminder that we too can be light bringers.

Winter Solstice calls us to come together on this longest night and bring with us light in the form of love, peace and joy. This is a light that we can share with each other and send out into the world. The choices that we make every day, as humans, as multi-faceted beings of this universe, should come from open minds and hearts. With this kind of devotion to the betterment of ourselves and each other, I believe we can accomplish anything.

Winter Solstice: in our home

(This is from a page in my BoS where I list family activities, crafts, home and altar decorations and other miscellaneous ideas.)

Activities:

• Cookie Plates for Friends
• Dawn Vigil Ritual
• Decorating Tree
• Gift Exchange
• Holiday Light Drive

Crafts:

• Bread Making
• Cookies
• Gingerbread Houses
• Natural Ornaments
• Paper Snowflakes (flat and 3D)
• Pomanders
• Popcorn garlands

Decorations:

• Bells
• Evergreen
• Lights
• Mistletoe
• Seasonal flowers and foods
• Stockings
• Suns
• Winter Solstice Candles
• Yule Tree

Winter Solstice: the feast

We have a larger gathering at our home every year. Sometimes we have a group ritual, sometimes not, but we always have much fun and laughter. I always make a pot roast, but this year I also made the Layered Vegetarian Casserole that I make at Autumn Equinox for our vegetarian friends. I always try to focus on making my meals as local as possible, as to best honor Old Wild Mama Earth. Sometimes I make more side dishes, sometimes our guests bring them to add to the table. (My friend Andrea helped me with quite a lot of tips, as well as a gravy lesson in this kitchen with year. Thank you!) This year’s meal prayer is a bit of a combination of several wonderful ones I have come across recently.

Tonight is the night of the Solstice,
the longest night of the year.
The Wheel turns and the days will brighten
Bringing renewed life to the Earth.

May hands will work for peace and justice,
May hands will work to heal the land.

For the food that stays our hunger,
For the rest that brings us ease,
For friends and memories that linger,
We give our thanks for these.

BREAD: Snowflake Pretzels

–

DRINKS

• Egg Nog: I buy this.
• Mulled Cider: To make this, I pour a gallon or two of cider in a big enamel pot on the morning of our gathering. I sprinkle in a healthy amount of spices (I use a mix of cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg and cloves) and set the pot on the stove, cover it and and turn the stove on low and just leave it. It makes the house smell sooooo nice all day. You can also add cranberry juice to change things up a bit or make it in the crockpot.
• Wine: We buy ours locally in Greenbluff, we can also get hard cider this time of year. This year we got a white wine infused with cranberry and spices.

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MAIN DISH: Pot Roast

• 5lb chuck roast (this fed about 9 people with a little leftover)
• 2 tbsp olive oil
• Italian Seasoning (I make my own mix.)
• 1 tsp. salt
• 2 tsp pepper (I love pepper.)
• 1 cup apple cider
• 1 tsp Worcestershire sauce
• 1 tbsp cornstarch

Heat a cast iron skilled on medium high. Mix together oil, Italian seasoning, salt and pepper. Rub all over chuck roast. Sear the roast on all sides. Put in 5-6 quart crockpot. (You could put potatoes, carrots or onions under it if you like, I prefer to roast them seperately.) Pour cider and Worcestershire sauce in.

Cover crockpot and cook on low for 8-10 hours or high for 5 to 6 hours, until beef is tender. (My current crockpot seems to get warmer and cook faster then my last one, so give yourself some extra time.)

To make gravy: Put some of the broth from the crockpot to a small saucepan over medium heat. In another small bowl whisk together cornstarch with a little broth to get out the lumps. Add to saucepan and whisk until mixture begins to thicken. (I think I remembered how to do that properly…)

Serves 8-10.

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SIDE DISH: Maple Yams
(Yams are not local, they are the tuber of a tropical vine. Did you know they can grow 7 feet long?! But, well, I adore yams…)

• 5 sweet potatoes (I used yams, not local, but I adore yams…)
• 1/4 cup maple syrup
• 2 or 3 tbsp butter

Preheat oven to 400F.

Poke some holes in the yams and place them in a shallow roast pan (or lipped cookie sheet.) Roast them until they are very soft (and hour or two.) Yams tend to get really stick when they cook, so line your pan with aluminium foil, it makes cleanup way easier.

When your yams are cool enough to handle you can just peel the skins off with your hands. Put in a dish with butter and maple syrup. Mash together (with a potato masher, or fork, or hands, or mixer, or whatever makes you happy.)

Serves 8-10.

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DESSERT: Pumpkin Roll
You can totally do this with homemade pumpkin puree.

It is winter.
It is night.

We await the sun.
We await the light.

In this darkness.
In this night.

We await the warmth.
We await the light.

And the Sun, he rises.

I could post about the weekend, or my usual sabbat write up, or link to my podcast but, my write up needs some final touches, as does the podcast… As for posting about my weekend, it was wonderful but I am tuckered out! So I will write more tomorrow, but I wanted to say

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That sav’d a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

When I was a teenager, I was rather desperately trying to find faith. Faith in what, I didn’t know, but faith of some kind. It was not a desire that I frequently (if ever) discussed with most of my family or friends, I didn’t think they would understand. I don’t know why I am thinking about it today, probably because I heard Amazing Grace on the radio and that song always stirs a deep well of spiritual emotions in me.

When I was younger we visited Mexico and I stayed with my Uncle Philip for a week or two. He is a minister so we attended his church. They sang and danced and some of the people in his church were “touched” by God. They collapsed on the floor and it looked like they were having seizures. I was completely terrified. I did not understand why God had to induce medical problems like that to make people feel his presence. It seemed cruel and wrong. I felt really out of place because I felt nothing, not so much as a twitch or inkling of another tongue. So I just stood there until my brother came over and we left and went for a walk I think.

I am not saying that the people in that church were wrong in there practice, they have a right to it. But I am saying that I was not emotionally prepared to be thrown into an environment like that without any notice. The masses I have been to in Catholic churches in France were… a lot different. I don’t blame anyone for the experience of course, but it certainly influenced my views of God.

When we lived in Spain (age 14 to 18), I remember the longing for guidance being particularly intense. I often went on walks down to one of the churches in Sitges and just sat in the pews, sometimes for a few minutes, sometimes for more then an hour. A man (I’m pretty sure he was a priest) came over and tried to talk with me a couple times and I passed myself off as a tourist. I was too scared to talk to him. If I spoke better Spanish, I told myself, I would go to confession. I don’t know what I would have said though. Instead of confession I spoke to God instead, telling him all the things that were on my mind, and then I waited. I don’t know what I was wait for, guidance I suppose. Though I think at the time I might have needed really bold statement to notice, an angel or white light and voice. I think I wanted him to appear, not speak to me through a messenger.

I only went to this church once on a Sunday and it was too much for me. I felt so very out of place. I was not very much for public displays of emotion, so when I was there on Sunday, surrounded by all those people of strong Christian faith, I felt like a fraud.

Sometimes I skipped school and would just wander around until I found a church. I would sit in a pew staring at the altar or building architecture and talking to God. I would be there usually until someone came up and tried to start a conversation with me. That always scared me off. Eventually I figured out that God wasn’t going to answer me, not in the way I wanted at least, and Christianity wasn’t right for me. So I stopped going to churches and started going to parks.

I have been aware of and involved with various forms of Paganism since I was about 14. When I wasn’t sitting in a pew I was reading about Paganism. I tried to talk to the Goddess in church a couple times but I was worried God was going to hear me giving up on him. The Christian God has always has the stern father archetype in my mind.

Anyhow, when I gave up on church I started going to parks and it was in one I found faith. I remember exactly how it happened. I had skipped school that day, my friend was going to come with me but she bailed last minute so I was alone. I wandered to a park near my school. I found a secluded bench surrounded by flowers and weeping trees. I laid there, closed my eyes and asked for a sign. When I opened my eyes and saw the sun filtering through the leaves above me. It was at that exact moment I found faith. It was a feeling that is really hard to describe (unless you have been there I guess.)

I didn’t cry or collapse or anything, I just knew that I was in the presence of something amazing. I felt as though Mother Earth had risen up and hugged me and Father Sky wrapped me a cocoon of light. I didn’t feel guilty or like a fraud, I felt unconditionally loved and welcomed. They weren’t there as angels or priests but they were there in person, not so much as gods but more as eternal but kindred spirits embodied in the trees, flowers, sun and sky. They were tangible and real, and they saved me.

One could say I have been a devoted “Pagan” ever since, though I don’t follow the God and Goddess, I walk with them. We are all Eternal Spirits. They are much older and more knowledgeable then I of course but not detached omnipotent beings. When I speak to them I feel them immediately and viscerally. They are real to me.

A lot more happened between that day and now that has shaped my faith but I will save it for another post.

This is something I have been working on for a couple days, all the photos are my own. I am not sure if it is done yet. That sun is part of my logo/personal symbol that my friend turned into a vector for me. I am probably going to make this a charity print when I am sure I am done with it. (Profits going to Médecins Sans Frontières.) Need to finish revamping my site first too.

My handmade mala beads, stained yellow with turmeric and individually polished with beeswax. A labor of love which I use everyday.

I had a dream the other night that Damian (my son) was surrounded by different colored lights. I have had similar dreams in the past but this one was particularly vivid, so I thought I would draw it.

I don’t know much about auras but it kind of reminds me of aura drawings I have seen. I thought I would post it because I like how it looks and thought someone might have some thoughts on interpreting it.

(Helaris posted and interesting interpretation of this here, on my deviantart.)

This is the dedication and cover page of my Book of Shadows.

A Book of Shadows is a book containing beliefs, gods, goddesses, rituals, herbal lore, chants, songs, dances, spells, divinatory methods, articles and other spiritually related topics that a witch (or coven) writes or collects. It can serve as a guide and a reference to their craft and tradition. The Book of Shadows is sometimes called a Grimoire.

Many witches make their own, usually written in journals. I keep mine in a D-ring binder. Three of them actually, one with ideas and miscellaneous notes, one with first drafts and articles, and one with final drafts that are all glitzed up (like this cover page.)

I tea stained the paper for this page and used ink, color pencils and watercolor to do the designs. It is printer paper sized since I keep it in a sheet protector in my binder. The little paper insert on this page has the Wheel of the Year on one side and a book dedication on the other. The crow/raven is one of my totems, he treads the barrier between waking and dreams. He guides us to a greater understanding of our consciousness. This is why I chose to put one on the cover page.

The Festival of Samhain was an ancient Celtic festival, falling on October 31st. A day which also marks Catholic All-Souls-Day and the secular Halloween, both strongly colored by the Celtic festival. Unlike most of the other sabbats, Samhain is not dictated by astrological events and therefor always falls on October 31st. Beltane is it’s counterpart laying directly opposite to Samhain in the Wheel of the year.

Samhain marks the end of the planted harvest and the beginning of the meat harvest. In days long past this time was vital, with the first snows nearing it was time to cull the herds and preserve their meat for Winter; without which the communities survival would be in question. Our ancestors knew this and so lived in harmony and with intuitive knowledge of the weather and changing seasons.

The Celtic year was split into two parts, and Samhain marks the start of the dark half, or Winter, which will transition into summer at Beltane. Now is the time for Old Wild Mother Earth to slip into a deep slumber, there she will gather strength till the Spring planting. This rest period is important, if not vital, not only for Her but also as a lesson to us. We must all take a break from time to time, as to regain our energy. With our renewed energy, the fruits of our labor will be even better.

Historically Samhain was an important festival celebrated for three days in the royal court in Tara (in modern day Ireland.) All hearth fires were extinguished and a ritual fire was started on the Hill of Tara, signaling people to gathered on hilltops all across Ireland and light community bonfires. Sometimes two bonfires were lit and people and livestock passed between then in a purification and protection rite. At the end of the Samhain celebrations a burning ember was taken home by each family to relight their own hearth fires. This was a common flame binding together the entire community.

Beyond being associated with the harvest, Samhain was a sacred time to the Celts. In their lore, on Samhain eve the veil between the worlds grows especially thin. This was a particularly powerful time for the spirits of the dead could interact with the living. Because of this many forms of divination were often done on this night and of course a variety of rituals were done to appease or welcome one’s ancestors. Burial cairns were often opened in villages and torches were used to light the path out so the dead could safely navigate their way into the world of the living. Candles are set in the windows to guide spirits safely to the house. The dumb supper was another common tradition, this is when an extra place is set at the table in honor of one’s ancestors and more recent deceased loved ones. Sometimes apples were buried in the Earth to nourish those who have died but chosen not to rise.

The origin of the Jack-O-Lantern comes from these days long past as well (though back then it was a turnip) it was a light to guide the beloved dead, the scary face was later added to frighten off any spirits will bad intentions. Masks and costumes were also used to hide identities from these malevolent spirits. Of course in the modern day these are harmless traditions times incorporated into Halloween, having mostly lost their meaning to non-Pagans.

In my own path, I celebrate both Halloween and Samhain. Halloween being about fun and family and Samhain having a more somber, but equally family oriented feel. Tonight the veil between the worlds lifts, and the spirits will walk amongst us once again. Be they family, friends or foes, they come into our realm to share whatever weighs on their souls. In my West window a candle burns brightly, guiding my beloved ancestors as they travel. Perhaps they will come in and take a seat at our table, as I have set a place for them, so that they may join us as we share stories, both tall and small, about them.

Honoring the ancestors is an important facet in my personal beliefs and something I do all year around. Samhain however always feels especially significant for paying those respects and sharing their stories, perhaps because I know that there are so many others out their sending their respects to the own beloved dead on this night.

On this eve give thanks to the lessons that the past year has revealed to me and honor its teachings in its death. On the dawn the wheel will turn once again and the new year will rise. May the good come to pass and the bad be cast aside. So mote it be.

Samhain: in our home

(This is from a page in my BoS where I list family activities, crafts, home and altar decorations and other miscellaneous ideas.)

Activities:

• Ancestors Ritual
• Divination
• Make Dreamboards
• Nature Hike
• Picking Pumpkins
• Trick or Treat

Crafts:

• Carving Pumpkins
• Bread Making
• Mask/Costume Making
• Pine Cone Bird Feeders
• Samhain Candles

Decorations:

• Acorns, Maple Keys, Pinecones
• Autumn Leaves
• Burial Cairns
• Gourds, Pumpkins, Squash
• Scythe, Bolline
• Seasonal flowers and foods

Samhain: feast

We are having a potluck this year and our vegetarian friends will be coming, hence the meatless meal. I alway try to focus on making my meals as local as possible, as to best honor Old Wild Mama Earth.

We stand now on the eve of the New Year,
I give thanks to the lessons this year has revealed to me and honor its teachings.
On the dawn the wheel will turn once again and the new year will rise.
The Spirits of the Ancestors are here, shinning, and we send our love to them.
Dark are the days ahead but bright are the fires in our souls.
In this coming year may the good come to pass and the bad be cast aside.
May our home be guarded against the cold and our pantries sustain us.
So mote it be.

BREAD: Sweet Potato Biscuits
(I’m using yams this year because I want the biscuits to be orange.)

• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/3 cup cornmeal
• 2 1/2 tsp baking powder
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/3 cup butter
• 1 cup sweet potato, mashed
• 1/2 cup milk
• 2 tbsp maple syrup

Cook and mash sweet potatoes. Chill.

Preheat oven to 400F. Combine flour, cornmeal, baking powder and salt. Cut in cold butter until the mixture resembles a coarse meal. Stir in sweet potatoes, milk and maple syrup. Pat into 9″ square and cut into 16 squares.

Place on baking sheet and bake for 15 to 20 minutes. Cook on wire rack.

–

MAIN DISH: Smashed Potato Soup

• 3 1/2 pounds potatoes, peeled and cubed
• 1 bell pepper
• 1 1/2 teaspoons roasted garlic
• 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
• 4-1/2 cups chicken broth (vegetable broth today)
• 1/2 cup sour cream (you can use whipping cream or half and half too)
• 4 oz shredded pepperjack (or cheddar)
• 1/2 cup thinly sliced scallions

In a 4 to 6 quart slow cooker, combine potatoes, sweet pepper, garlic, and black pepper. Pour broth in. Cover and cook on low-heat setting for 8 to 10 hours or on high-heat setting for 4 to 5 hours.

Mash potatoes slightly with a potato masher. Stir in sour cream, cheese, and the 1/2 cup thinly sliced scallions.

Serves 8.

–

DESSERT: Aunt Ruth’s Pumpkin Pie
I found this recipe on my Aunt Ruth ’s cooking blog from last year. If you don’t know how to make pumpkin filling from scratch, go here.

I hope you all have a most blessed and joyful Samhain (or Halloween!) Autumn is drawing to a close, so enjoy these last days before the wheel turns to the white softness of Winter.

The cool down of Autumn have finally arrived and so has the peak of the harvest season. Fat pumpkins lay in fields, apple branches bend low with heavy yield and the Earth’s bounty overflows the garden and farm. This harvest begs to be enjoyed, but also preserved. Winter’s icy days draw near.

Technically speaking an equinox is a day when the Sun will spend an equal amount of time above and below the horizon. This happens twice a year, in Autumn and Spring. Autumn Equinox is the tipping point into the dark half of the year. Today we are also entering into the sunsign of Libra, her scales are a perfect echo of the light/dark balance of this equinox. Historically speaking, nearly every culture has some form of harvest festival, many celebrated still today.

Megalithic people of ancient Britain and Ireland obviously placed some kind of importance on both the solstices and equinoxes. Otherwise they would not have build stone structures like Stonehenge and Loughcrew Cairn to determine their dates. Their methods of celebrating these days has been long lost to history though.

The ancient Celts constructed a wickerman around this time of the year as well. It was ritually burned to represent the plant spirits returning to the earth to rest until Spring. An incarnation of this ancient idea has been reborn in recent years in the Burning Man Project, a yearly festival celebrated in the Autumn in Nevada. A giant wickerman is constructed and burned at the height of the week long festival.

The Mayans constructed a sacred pyramid called Chichen Itza, which acted in a similar way to the stone structures of the Megalithic people of Britain and Ireland. On the day of the Autumn Equinox a “serpent of light” descends the pyramid until it joins this a huge stone rattlesnake head at its base. (This serpent is actually seven isosceles triangles that are formed from the sunlight hitting the pyramid stairs.)

The Chumash, a Native American tribe from Southern California, celebrate the Autumn Equinox in a ceremony that takes place after the harvest is picked, processed and stored. After this day the spiritual thoughts of the tribe become focused on unity in the face of Winter.

Teutonic tribes called the period from the Autumn Equinox until approximately October 15th “Winter Finding.” October 15th was Winter Night and their new years. Besoms were constructed to symbolize the man/woman duality. A Harvest Lord was made from straw and burned, his ashes scattered over the fields. A Harvest Queen was woven from the last sheaf of wheat of the harvest. It was dressed in Spring colors and hung from a pole (it also was sometimes called the Kern Baby.)

In Neopaganism, many different rituals are preformed on this day, often echoing ancient traditions. Most of these rites are based on the balance found in nature as well as within ourselves. Some refer the Autumn Equinox as the Witches Thanksgiving as it is a celebration of the harvest and a time to give thanks for the bounty that the Earth has provided.. Wiccans, the most common variety of Neopagans, celebrate the Autumn Equinox as Mabon. The day honors the Sacrificial King who dies and passes into the harvest to be reborn through the Goddess come Springtime.

In my practice, I personify the Earth as Mother and Sun as Father. Now is the time for Father Sun to pass into darkness so that Mother Earth might rest as she nurtures the spirit of Spring within her. Without Winter’s rest many plants could not come forth in the Spring. Autumn Equinox is a time to come together as a community and give thanks for the harvest as well as find peace within ourselves to face the coming darker days. It is a time of year when the goals that summer’s fun kept me from, return to the forefront of my mind. Balances is a powerful force which I invite into my life so that all my workings might come from a place of wholeness and love. Balance is needed in all things from the spiritual to the mundane as it keeps us from the pointlessness excess and the dullness of laziness.

Autumn Equinox: in our home

(This is from a page in my BoS where I list family activities, crafts, home and altar decorations and other miscellaneous ideas.)

Activities:

• Acorn Gathering for Winter Solstice ornaments
• Harvest Festival in Greenbluff
• Thanksgiving Ritual

Crafts:

• Apple Dolls
• Autumn Leaves Stained Glass
• Besom Making
• Bread Making
• Pine Cone Bird Feeders
• Harvesting and Preserving: canning, dehydrating, freezing
• Equinox Candles

Decorations:

• Acorns, Maple Keys, Pinecones
• Autumn Leaves
• Burial Cairns
• Cornucopias
• Dried Herbs
• Indian Corn Bundles
• Scythe, Bolline
• Seasonal flowers and foods

Autumn Equinox: feast

This is a a time when the Earth’s bounty is at her peak, why not make the table groan with your favorite seasonal dishes? Since we go to the apple festival each year fresh apple cider and local wines fill out goblets and we raise them for a blessing a toast.

Eternal Spirits we welcome you into our home on this day of balance.
You who are the wind, water, fire and earth at the soul of our world.

The Autumn Equinox is here and we give thee thanks for the harvest,
and its bounty that nourishes us, sustains us and inspires us.

We give thee thanks for the times we spend together in love and peace,
and all those who have fought so that we may enjoy this freedom.

We give thee thanks for this good green Earth and the kinship of our friends and family,
and for all we have overlooked or taken for granted in our life.

We give thanks for the blessings you whisper into our lives each and every day.
Eternal Spirits we welcome you to our table. Blessed be.

(You can go around the table now and have everyone share what they are thankful for.)

–

BREAD: Roasted Potato and Onion Bread
This must be started the night before your feast. It is well worth the effort though!

–

MAIN DISH: Layered Vegetarian Crockpot
Layer in crockpot:

• 6 potatoes, sliced
• 1 onion, sliced
• 2 carrots, sliced
• 1 green pepper, sliced
• 1 zucchini, sliced
• 1 cup corn
• 1 cup peas

Any vegetable mixture really works. I didn’t have a zucchini today so I used green beans. If you have a garden, even better! Wander around and see what’s fresh.

Pour over top:

• 2 cans tomato sauce
• 1 can stewed tomatoes
• 1 tbsp Italian seasoning
• Salt & Pepper

Cook 8 to 12 hours.

• Spread 1 cup shredded cheese over top and serve once melted.

–

DESSERT: Apple Pie
I think everyone has their preferred family recipe for this one, mine seems to change from year to year as I seek to find one that is truly special. Since we did not go apple picking this weekend (Michael was sick) we will be going next Sunday. So the apple pie is on the backburner so to speak, until then. If anyone has a tried and true apple pie recipe that they don’t mind me sharing through my blog if we like it, I would be more then willing to try it! (The crust cannot contain shortening, I am allergic to cottonseed oil.)

I hope you all have a most blessed and joyful Autumn Equinox, Mabon, Harvest Home, or whatever you celebrate. And if you celebrate none, I still hope you get outside rain or shine (rain for us this year!) and enjoy the beauty of Autumn.

(Clipart courtesy FCIT.)

I usually sleep in on Saturdays, and even more so when we stay up late feeding our Smallville addication. But this morning was different. About 6am, I woke up because the fan was blowing on me, and it had finally cooled down enough that it was uncomfortable. I tried to ignore it, but finally gave in and got out of bed to turn it off. I laid in bed trying to fall back asleep, but instead it seems I’m up for the day — my mind wouldn’t go back to sleep, it has been racing a million miles a second. It seems I am stressed about work, specifically maintaining country of origin labeling (COOL) codes in the computer. And I guess I should be, we have some 7000 item codes that need to be kept up to date. It was originally supposed to be a cooperative effort, the buyers working together with me to keep them maintained. But it seems somewhere they got it into their heads that I would be taking care of everything, updating the COOL codes from the bill of lading paperwork when the item lands. I took this up with my boss Thursday, and she said she would get back to me. I suspect I’m going to be stuck with it.

When I lay in bed awake on mornings like this, I am able to brainstorm and problem solve very efficiently. So now I have a plan to make my life easier when it comes to maintaining COOL codes – I will have to experiment on Monday to make sure it works. I am hoping it will, or I will have to have a part time assistant to get everything done, at least if they don’t want me getting overtime (they already start nagging on me if I even approach 40 hours).

After coming up with my solutions, I rolled over and cuddled with Jaspy, propping myself up and watching Damian sleep. Sleeping children are a beautiful thing. I think he was having a nightmare, though of what I have no idea, he has never had a traumatic experience. I wonder what he dreams of. His eyes are twitching, obviously in REM sleep. He startles a few times, makes sad faces, and makes a few sad sounds. What could make my baby-cakes so sad? It tears my heart out, so I stroke his face and he calms down. He wakes up a few minutes later, and Jaspy takes him potty.

Today, we are going apple picking, what has become a yearly tradition to celebrate the autumn equinox. The equinox is close, just a few short days away. The equinoxes and solstices have always been power days for me, when I reconnect, and re-balance, and re-evaluate my life. I can feel this one coming on, I feel the stress fading away and I an energized. This weekend is going to be good.

I wanted to share this ritual that I wrote because baby blessings for Pagans are very hard to find online (or in reference books for that matter.)

Date: August 16th, 2008
Moon: Full in Aquarius
Ritual Type: Family

We call upon the Elemental Spirits of Air, Fire, Water and Earth, to welcome our child on this eve. From breeze to storm, from spark to flame, from stream to ocean, from field to mountain, you bring power to our circle.

We call upon our Beloved Ancestors, blood of our blood, to welcome our child on this eve. A sacred cord connects us back to before time was time, we are honored by your presence.

We call upon the Eternal Spirit of Woman, the Great Mother, and ask that you bless our child on this eve. Sacred nurturer, may your power flows through us in this rite.

We call upon the Eternal Spirit of Man, the Great Father, and ask that you bless our child on this eve. Sacred protector, may your power flows through us in this rite.

Eternal Spirits, we bring before you this being of light, our son, for whom we have chosen the name of Damian Michael Stewart. We give thee thanks for sending Damian into our lives, he is our greatest joy and has grown our hearts a hundredfold. May we always be aware of his origins in your world, as ours are, so that we may reflect back to him the knowledge of the Great Mystery.

Damian, we light this candle [the rose one on the right side of the altar] as a reflection of the light that shines within you. Though its flame may be extinguished, know that your spirit within our lives never will. May your life be a divine work of art upon which all the blessings of the Universe are bestowed. Damian, you are our beloved. We swear to live our life to the highest virtues we know because it is upon this foundation that you will grow and flourish.

Eternal Spirits, we ask that you send Damian a guardian spirit to guide and protect him as he grows his light, until such a time when he can call upon his own guides. May this guardian guide him on the path that is most true for his soul and may the power of the elements ease his travels.

Spirits of Air we ask that you guide Damian as he soars through the skies of imagination.
Spirits of Fire we ask that you guide Damian as he faces all the challenges that await him.
Spirits of Water we ask that you guide Damian as he swims in the ocean of intuition.
Spirits of Earth we ask that you guide Damian as he climbs the tree of knowledge.

So mote it be.

Elemental Spirits, you are the breath, the inspiration, the soul and the body of our world. We thank you for your presence on this eve.

Beloved Ancestors, blood of our blood, your wisdom shines upon us. We thank you for your presence on this eve.

Eternal Spirits of Man and Woman, sacred beings of love and balance, we thank you for your blessings and your power on this eve.

Our circle is open but never broken.

So mote it be.

Baby Blessing by Jaspenelle Stewart is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 United States License.

Each morning I do a small ritual which is made up of a short prayer to the Sun, a series of affirmations, and sometimes another prayer. (Yes, I am a creature of habit!) I touched on prayer the other day in my post about Jesus but I have been wanting to elaborate on it.

According to Wikipedia:

Prayer is the act of attempting to communicate with a deity or spirit. Purposes for this may include worshipping, requesting guidance, requesting assistance, confessing sins, as an act of reparation or to express one’s thoughts and emotions. [...] Secularly, the term can also be used as an alternative to “hope”. [...] Most major religions in the world involve prayer in one way or another.

Many of the items included in that description are things I do regularly. Requesting guidance, requesting assistance, and expressing one’s thoughts and emotions. The prayers I send out for other people are also my way of sending hope to them. So yes, I most definitely pray.

Prayer is not a term generally thrown around within the Pagan community. This is, in my opinion, because of mainstream religion. Most of the Pagans I know were once Christian and when they left that faith most of them distanced themselves from all its practices. Prayer is often one of the first things to go, which is really a bit odd when you think about it since prayer was around long before Jesus walked. To an extent, I understand the desire (however unhealthy) to bury ones past. After all, many Pagans had traumatic experiences within their former churches which are what ultimately drove them to seek beliefs that were better suited for their soul. I do think that prayer is a term Pagans have every right to reclaim though.

In my practice, prayer is not the exclusive territory of the gods. Many, if not most, of my prayers are focused towards spirits (elemental or otherwise) or my ancestors. I don’t think it matters what spirit is prayed to (if you want to send your thoughts to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, go ahead) all I think matters is that we take time to send our gratitude, hopes and wishes out into the Universe. I pray because it helps me live my life with reverence, grounds me, brings me comfort and order my thoughts.

Ultimately, prayer is an intensely personal experience and one I don’t think we should be afraid of. It is a opportunity to say exactly how you feel without repercussions, it feels good to get stuff like that off your chest, no matter how silly or serious. No matter what is said it can stay between you, the god or spirit of your choosing and the all-knowing fence post. (And of course anyone else you are comfortable sharing with.) As for me, my prayer this morning went something like this:

Blessed Mother Earth, I ask for your help on this day.
I ask that you send your Spirits of Peace to my dear friend,
She has great trials ahead of her in her fight with breast cancer.
Let her remember that it is the heart that makes the woman, not the body.
Let her remember your unconditional love, let it give her strength,
So that she may grow from this and find some joy in these hard times.
Blessed be.

I must take a moment to admire my friend, in spite of her diagnosis and the looming fear of surgery, her faith is strong and she is at peace with where ever this disease will lead her. I do not know if I could be as strong. As hard as it is for me to admit, I sometimes find myself angry with the powers that be for the trials I find myself in (and those that I love.) It is hard to remember that it is these trials and how we carry ourselves through them are what define us. That is a topic for a future blog post though.

Do you pray?

Though Lughnasadh was a few days ago, I just finished writing my Book of Shadows page about this sabbat. I thought I would share. Let me know what you think and if you see any glaring typos. Dyslexia and proofreading do not always mesh well…

Lughnasadh: the grain harvest

The blistering first days of August are here, the parched earth does not give us much indication of cooling, but crisp Autumn mornings will soon be on our doorstep. Summer vegetables are at their peak and fill the garden and marketplace, corn and grain are being reaped and pumpkins and apples are beginning to ripen on the farms. In spite of the heat this is also a the time to begin laying down the Winter stores.

Lughnasadh is the first of three harvest sabbats in the Wheel of the Year. It is either celebrated around August 1st or the nearest full moon to it. Lughnasadh has a very convoluted history, Which is something I am certain Lugh would find immensely amusing.

Lughnasadh literally means “assembly of Lugh”. It is an Iris festival that traditionally took place at the start of the grain harvest, around August 1st. In Celtic legend, Lugh decreed that a commemorative feast be held on this day in the honor of his foster mother, the Fir Bolg queen, Tailtiu. She died clearing a forest for her people to plant grain. The legend states that she was buried beneath the hill of Tailte, which is where the first feast of Lughnasadh was held. As time passed, traditions surrounding Lughnasadh began to solidify into events and ceremonial activities designed to celebrate Tailtiu’s sacrifice as well as the bounty of the harvest.

In early Ireland, it was considered bad luck to harvest your grain any time before Lughnasadh, since that meant that the previous year’s harvest had run out early, which was a serious failing in agricultural communities. Grain has been a vital crop since the dawn of civilization as it is one of the foods that can easily be stored through the harshness of Winter. This has caused grain to become strongly associated with the cycle of death and rebirth in many ancient cultures. It is important to note that the grain referred to in old texts was most likely wheat, not corn. Corn is a crop of the Americas and did not exist in Ireland at the time Lughnasadh was founded.

Lugh is tied to the bountiful harvest as well, though not in the role of Sun God, as many Neopagans believe. This is a error that appeared in the Victorian era and is still perpetuated by many authors today, who confuse him with John Barleycorn. Lugh was actually a god of many talents, patron to craftsman and bards, who was honored for his cleverness and quick wit. He was fond of games of physical prowess as well as skill, particularly horse racing. Lugh had an affinity with storms as well, and it was considered a good omen for it to be stormy on Lughnasadh. It is Lugh who broke Summer’s hold over the land, heralding the start of the harvest. Lugh is further tied to the harvest through some of his triumph in battles with the land-spirits, in which the harvest was released for the use of Mankind.

Modern day Lughnasadh has a healthy dose of the Christianized “Lammas” mixed into it. This makes the celebration even more strongly oriented around the grain harvest. Lammas is celebrated on the first Sunday of August and is a day when everyone brought loaves of bread to church to be blessed. These loaves were baked from the first grain of the season.

In Wicca, the main figure of Lughnasadh is the Sacrificial King, sometimes called John Barleycorn. He embodies the wheat fields and is reaped/sacrificed so that we can survive the Winter. He is a powerful representation of the life and death cycle as he is reborn again come Spring when the fields are sewn again.

In our modern world, it is easy to forget the importance of the harvest. If we needed a loaf of bread, we can buy a prepackaged one from the store. If it runs out, we can easily go get another one. When our ancestors lived, the grain harvest was crucial. Whether the harvest succeeded or failed was the difference between life and death for many families. By celebrating Lughnasadh as a harvest festival, we honor our ancestors’ hard work. Lughnasadh is a time to reflect on the things we could or could not live without as well as the abundance in our lives.

To me, community is at the heart of all the sabbats and my whole belief system revolves around stewardship of the Earth. Though we live in a world where so many foods are at our finger tips, the sabbats wonderful time to share and appreciate the local harvest. What better way to celebrate the turning of the wheel then to celebrate what Mother Earth gives us freely from our area? Lughnasadh is an ideal time to gather with friends and work together to preserve the bounty that was nurtured throughout the Summer. It also makes for quick work so we can get back out into the Summer sun! I think Lugh would appreciate the crafting of fine preserves as well as the rush to get back outside to celebrate with some games!

Lughnasadh: in our home

(This is from a page in my BoS where I list family activities, crafts, home and altar decorations and other miscellaneous ideas.)

Activities:

• Bardic Contest: Lugh is the patron of bards, have a storytelling contest
• Board Games: chess, checkers, nine man morris
• House Blessing Ritual (done every sabbat)
• Trip to Greenbluff or Farmers Market: to appreciate Mother Earth’s bounty
• Races: hobby horse, sack, or three-legged races are amusing alternatives to the more traditional but impractical horse races.
• Riddle Contests: to honor Lugh’s cleverness
• Other Games: badminton, boche ball, horseshoes, frisbee

Crafts:

• Bread Making
• Corn Crafts: cornhusk chains, corn dollies
• Felt Suns
• Harvesting and Preserving Food: canning, dehydrating, freezing
• Lughnasadh Candles
• Seed Necklaces: made with dried beans and indian corn

Decorations:

• The crafts listed above
• Burial Cairns
• Scythe, bolline
• Seasonal flowers and foods
• Suns

Lughnasadh: feast

Feast Blessing:
(modified from one is Scott Cunningham’s “Wicca, a guide for the solitary practitioner”)

Now is the Time of the First Harvest,
When the bounties of Nature give of themselves so that we may survive.
Eternal Spirits of the ripening fields,
Grant us the understanding of sacrifice as you fall beneath the sickle.
We pass now into the wanning year, its darkness brings deepening wisdom.

We gather here to welcome the First Harvest,
Mixing its energies with our own so that we may continue our journey.
Eternal Spirits, we offer our thanks for your guidance,
And renew our pledge to continue our stewardship of the Earth.

May the nodding grain loose its seed and bury in the Mother’s breast,
Ensuring rebirth in the warmth of next Spring.

Click here for Lughnasadh Feast menu.

Lughnasadh: wheat field guided meditation

(I wrote in 2007 for a Lughnasadh group ritual.)

Everyone get in a comfortable meditation pose and gently close your eyes.

Begin breathing slow and relaxed breaths from your belly up. Feel yourself becoming wonderfully relaxed. All tension and stress is falling away, like drifting autumn leaves.

Feel your feet relax, then your legs, thighs, buttocks. All your lower body, perfectly relaxed. Relax your abdomen, your chest, let you heart release its worries for this time. Relax, warm and relaxed. Now flex and relax your hands, then your arms and shoulders. Tension flowing out of you, all relaxed. All tension leaving your neck, your face, your thoughts, warm and relaxed. All physical and mental tension is draining away. Feel at ease with your surroundings, calm and at peace.

Take a moment now to enjoy this wonderful feeling of completely relaxed, surrounded by peace.

Imagine you are in a lush golden wheat field, the first harvest is ripe, ready to be reaped. It is late afternoon and the Lughnasadh sun baths you with warm gentle rays. You are at peace here, the wheat, the sun, the earth, they all welcome you to this place.

The Sun sends His solar energy down to the grain, bringing life. Feel the healing solar energy flow into you. As this warm and invigorating energy fills you feel it touch your face and neck; arms, chest and heart; flowing through your stomach, legs and feet and out into the earth.

The Earth sends Her own energy through you, peaceful and loving. This energy penetrates your every cell and rises through you, out your crown chakra – at the top of your head. Your whole body is a golden waterfall, you are a conduit, being cleanses as running water cleanses. You are at peace.

Bathe in this light for a few moments… Know that in experiencing this golden light pouring into you, you allow the loving, healing forces of the universe into you, to help you be whole, physically, mentally and emotionally. Feel the beauty, the peacefulness, and the health that is in you, and know that at all times you can be at one with yourself, the sun, the earth and all the universe.

Now slowly, gently, as you begin to return to the here and now, you realize you really are feeling rested, renewed, re-energized, ready to meet the challenges presented by any day… In a few moments I am going to count from one to five.

Upon the number three, your eyes will open, and on the count of five, you will once again be wide awake, feeling fine and in perfect health.

One, two, three, your eyes are now opening. Four, five, you are now wide awake, feeling wonderful and in perfect health.

It is perhaps because I follow a Pagan path, but most people are surprised when I tell them I follow many of Jesus’s teachings quite strongly. It is also the main reason I stay away from strictly organized religion, most Christians take issue that I don’t believe Jesus was the Son Of God in the traditional sense. I care more about his teachings then family tree. Jesus also had is own issues with organized religion, I think he would be horrified to see the things that have been done in his name.

To me “God” is simply a universal energy (Great Mystery/Manitou/Qi) that connects us all, from which we create facets that form our individual deities (Yahweh, Aphrodite, Isis, Three Pure Ones, Olorun, Ninhursag etc. Spaghedeity?) to help us better understand our present situation. In that light, I think we are all part of “God”.

Anyhow, about Jesus. To me he was a great spiritual teacher, like Buddha, and when you strip away all the dogma that now surrounds him (and who knows what that was lost in translation) Jesus’s teachings are mostly very basic and immensely powerful concepts.

Jesus taught love. There is no commandment greater than this. He taught this concept through compassion towards others, healing the sick, washing his disciples feet, stopping the stoning of a woman etc. Our actions speak louder the words and compassion is an amazing force I try to live my life by. It is certainly not always easy, especially when it comes to loving your enemy. I try to remember that my enemies can be my greatest teachers though. (This teaching is what drives a huge wedge between me and some Christians who spew hatred towards people who don’t follow their exact flavor of Christianity.)

Jesus taught forgiveness. Beyond requesting forgiveness from God (which I don’t do) Jesus said we must first learn to forgive those who have wronged us, “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.” This is another exercise in compassion, it can be hard to keep forgiving someone, and sometimes we must determine if they are truly sorry for their actions or if it ourself imposing our own beliefs on them. It is hard to be the judge of such things… which leads to the next point.

Jesus taught us not to be hypocrites. We have all done bad things (”sinned” if you prefer) and it is hypocritical to take an eye for an eye. Our love and compassion should be our guide on how we treat others, not man-made rules. I try to always live what I believe, leading by example? Ultimately I believe we win people over by love, not force (which is probably why threats of damnation and hell never work on me.) We should live and love not “for show” but because we truly want to live by that virtue.

Jesus taught prayer. Yes I pray, though I may not call them that and they are also not directed towards any deity. For me a prayer is simply a silent or vocal acknowledgment of gratitude. It is easier to me to remain in a place of wholeness and love if I take time to remember the things I am thankful for. Whether I am saying a blessing over dinner or taking time each day to list things that bring me joy, I see them all as prayers.

Jesus taught generosity. There is one story in the New Testament, where Jesus and his disciples are watching people donate to a temple. An old woman gives a couple coins, which is nothing next to other donations, but it is everything she had. Jesus says she is the most charitable of them all. When you give with love and expect nothing in return you open yourself to receive a multitude of gifts. I know this to be true in my life through experience, when I give, even in difficult times, new and unexpected ways to flourish open to me. Jesus never said that it is bad thing to be wealthy, but it is a bad thing to become blinded by the need for possessions. When you cannot part with your wealth to share even a little compassion, you become a slave to it.

My beliefs are pretty much a mishmash of everything I have read, which is probably why the Pagan path is so appealing to me. We have no doctrine and are free to make our own and adapt it as we learn and grow. My main spiritual focus has always been around being a steward of the Earth, whom I refer to a Mother Earth, and intrinsic part of that is the practice of compassion because if we show compassion for all things it is easier to nurture healing and growth (in my opinion at least.) Jesus’s teachings certainly are filled with compassion, hence they are solidly integrated with my personal beliefs.

I didn’t realize such a diverse crowd read my blog, thanks for all you comments on my last post!

Blessed Lughnasadh!

Lughnasadh is going to be quite different for us this year since we now have Damian! His grandpa Tolman will be here to visit. I want to make an effort to celebrate all the sabbats with Damian but this one might wait till next weekend. I like that cross-quarter days are flexible like that! Heck my solstices and equinoxes kind of are too.

This year I am going to share my seasonal feast recipes with you. All my recipes are all very loose and leave a lot of room for personal taste. I rarely follow instructions except if I am making bread… even then I tend to switch to whole wheat.

Speaking of whole wheat, Lughnasadh celebrates the grain harvest so how about we start with a bread recipe:

BREAD: Baguette

• 1 tbsp active dry yeast
• 1 teaspoon honey
• 1 1/2 cups warm water
• 2 1/2 teaspoons salt
• 1 cup bread flour
• 3 cups whole wheat flour

- In a large bowl combine honey and warm water, stir in yeast. Let sit for 10 minutes, until foamy.
- Add salt. Add flours 1 cup at a time until dough starts to come together. Turn out onto a floured surface and kneed in the rest of the flour until smooth (about 10 minutes.)
- Place dough in an oiled and turn to coat the surface. Cover and let stand in a warm place until doubled in size, about 1 to 2 hours.
- Punch down and form into long slender loaf (approx 21 inches long and 3 inches wide.) Place diagonally on a lightly greased large baking sheet and let rise uncovered for about 30 minutes.
- Preheat oven to 400 F.
- After loaf has risen make 3-6 diagonal slashes on it with sharp knife and lightly brush top with cool water. Bake for 30 minutes or until golden. Cool on wire rack. (If you can wait long enough for it to cool, warm baguette smothered in fresh butter or preserves, yum!)

APPETIZER: Bruschetta
There is about a dozen different ways to make this, but this is the way I grew up with, more or less. The ingredients are very flexible and can (and should!) be done to taste.

• 6 tomatoes, seeded and diced
• 2 to 4 cloves garlic, minced (I use a garlic press)
• a handful of fresh basil leaves, chopped
• Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
• 1 baguette (homemade)
• Olive oil

- Toss together tomatoes, garlic and basil. Season with salt and pepper. Set aside to allow flavors to meld.
- Slice baguette into 1-inch pieces and toast. Drizzle with olive oil. (Alternately you can cut the garlic cloves in half and rub them against the toast before drizzling.)
- Top with tomato mixture and serve.

MAIN DISH: Grilled Chicken Salad

• 4 grilled chicken breasts, sliced
• Homemade raspberry vinaigrette
• 1 head lettuce, torn up – I like red leaf or romaine
• 2 cups spinach, torn up
• 2 cucumbers, seeded and diced
• 1 cup corn
• 2 or 3 or 4 tomatoes, seeded and diced
• 1 cup mozzarella, cubed or shredded

- Make vinaigrette. Mine uses about 8 tbsp olive oil, 3 tbsp raspberry vinegar, 1 to 2 tbsp local honey, 1 tsp dry mustard, 1 1/2 tsp lemon juice, 2 cloves garlic, salt and pepper. Still all that in a jar and shake. Viola vinaigrette. (I make my own raspberry vinegar but I have seen it in some stores, you could use any fruit vinegar, or apple cider vinegar, or balsamic for that matter.)
- Marinate chicken breasts in some vinaigrette for 30 minutes to and hour. Or you can be inpatient like me and stick some vinaigrette and the chicken in a ziplock and hit with with a rolling pin a few times until it flattens. Force marination.
- Grill chicken and slice. I like it left warm but you could certainly chill if that is your thing.
- In a large bowl toss together your chicken and your other ingredients with more vinaigrette. (Alternately, you could layer it lettuce, spinach, cucumbers, corn, tomatoes, cheese.)

DESSERT: Grilled Peaches

• Peaches, 1 per person
• 2 tsp brown sugar per peach
• Melted butter, enough to brush your peaches with
• Vanilla ice cream

- Cut peaches along the seam all the way around and twist off the pit. Brush cut sides with butter.
- Cook, cut side down, on a hot grill until fruit has grill marks, 3 to 4 minutes.
- Brush tops with butter, turn over, and move to indirect heat. Put 1 tsp of sugar in each peach where the pit was.
- Cover grill and cook until sugar is melted and fruit is tender, 5 to 10 minutes.
- Serve hot with vanilla ice cream.

If you celebrate Lughnasadh what do you intend of filling your family’s bellies with? Even if you don’t what are you having for dinner? Some local foods too I hope!

I was working on putting all the information I have on Lughnasadh together in an understandable order when I ran across this feast blessing. I have always rather liked it but I have no clue what the original source was. Does anyone recognize it?

Now is the Time of the First Harvest,
When the bounties of Nature give of themselves
So that we may survive
O God of the ripening fields, Lord of the Grain,
Grant me the understanding of Sacrifice
As you prepare to deliver yourself
Under the sickle of the Goddess

And journey to the lands of Eternal Summer
O Goddess of the Dark Moon,
Teach me the secrets of rebirth
as the Sun loses its strength and the nights grow cold.

I partake of the First Harvest,
Mixing its energies with mine
That I may continue my quest
For the starry wisdom of Perfection
O Lady of the Moon and Lord of the Sun,
before Whom the Stars halt their courses,
I offer my thanks
For the continuing Fertility of the Earth.
May the nodding grain loose its seeds
To be buried in the Mother’s breast
Ensuring Rebirth in the Warmth of next Spring.

[EDIT: A commenter informed me that it originally appeared in "Wicca, A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner" by Scott Cunningham.]

My dad will be arriving in Spokane to visit on Lughnasadh, hopefully we won’t scare him too much, hehe.

Some people have asked me if I will be raising Damian in my spiritual path, the answer is yes and no. I have no desire to hide my spirituality with him or exclude him from the traditions Michael and I have formed (such as celebrating the sabbats.) I think family traditions are important and give a child memories to look back on later in life, much the way I fondly look back on Christmas and Easter now.

This will be his first Lughnasadh and he will be present for our celebration of course. As he grows I will explain as much of our beliefs to him as I feel he is ready to absorb. I also intend on teaching him other belief systems as well, and ultimately the choice if what he wishes to practice is his. There is no such thing as too much knowledge. When he is older, if he chooses to continue to follow my path, so be it, if he is called to another, so be it.

(My craft workspace, in the corner of the nursery.)

I seem to have developed a fixation for scrapbooking lately, or more particularly scrapbooking my Book of Shadows (for my non-Pagan readers that is a book that I keep all my spiritual research, essays and notes in, it is not a book for me, but a D-ring binder.)

I have always loved scrapbooking but it was a hobby I swore I would never get into because of the apparent staggering cost scrapbooking can reach. I was in Joanns today and some papers sell for $5 a piece! (Considering I only had $7 to spend, that paper was out of the question, no matter how glorious it was.) Not to mention the cost of all the cool types of stamps, scissors, punches, stickers, embellishments galore which, well, are enough to make this crafter drool and frugally cringe at the same time.

Luckily I have superhuman powers of restraint (or I am just an anally frugal b…witch) and only spent $6.59. I bought a #2 x-acto knife (using a 40% off coupon), a 3/4″ stencil brush, and a 4-pack of stencil blanks (these are plastic sheets you use to make your own stencils.) Now I can make some border stencils for my Book of Shadows pages! Yay, scrapbooking!

But, wait! What about my aforementioned promise to myself about not scrapbooking?!

That promise apparently broke itself without my conscious knowledge a few weeks ago, all because I I decided that I needed to organize my craft supply closet. (This might seem like an odd way to find a new hobby, but trust me, it is not was weird as it sounds, at least, not in my world.) While organizing, I found some leftover fabric from my apron as well as a bag of glass stones. Somehow that discovery ended up distracting me for a couple hours as I made a gloriously orange and blue cover for my Book of Shadows binder. (In my defense, the plain plastic cover was abhorrent to my crafty-sense, when I saw the fabric I “knew” in my mind what it must be used for, I had not choice but to obey said crafty-sense.) The next day upon admiring my bright new orange and blue Book of Shadows, I settled down and flipped it open and nearly screamed in crafter terror.

All the pages in it were so… plain…

Random typed up bits, some handwritten stuff, some torn out pages from magazines and newspapers, all stuffed in sheet protectors in no particular order. Unlike the cover, the guts of my binder did not reflect who I was (yes I am trying to justify the scrapbooking urge here.) I riffled through the pages in despair looking for something that could redeem me when I found a page with an Ojibway poem that I had decorated. I put that in the front of the binder. Beyond that though, there was nothing, just blah pages, so uninspiring I could hardly read them. (Can you tell that I am one of those people who like picture books?)

Instead of wallowing in self-despair (at least after pulling myself out of a couple good hours of it) I decided I rewrite the page about Bealtaine. I got some of the pretty paper from my craft closet (yes, I did end up finishing organizing it) and embellish it with a balsamroot arrowleaf flower I created out of some other pretty paper. That page went in second. I was on a mission now, no doubt sent to me straight from the Goddess.

Poking through My “bits and ends” drawer I then found stickers! These led me to redoing a couple more pages. Scrounging in the drawer some more I found some flower borders I had designed and transfered them to some more pretty paper and redid some gardening pages. Then I found myself up late at night in bed designing a Celtic knot border and redoing the Apple page. Then I…

You can see where this is going right? I found myself unwittingly scrapbooking. It didn’t occur to me till yesterday that is was in fact what I was doing, which made me pause and consider my vow before discarding it. The reason for my vow to not scrapbook was now moot as I have discovered, quite by accident, that it was not a high cost hobby when you do it all yourself (and having an expansive bits and ends drawer helps.) In fact, the way I was approaching it required no money down (until I took my $7 to Joanns today at least. And I can deal with the occasional purchase.)

Ultimately doing it almost all myself is infinitely more rewarding anyhow. I like scrapbooking, it is something completely for me and not dictated by customer deadlines.

I had someone mention induction to me this morning and when I was planning on doing that. I lashed out a little, which I feel bad about (I normally have much better control over my emotions.) Seriously though, I am not even to 40 weeks yet, why should I even be wasting time on thoughts of induction. Baring a genuine medical concern I have no intention on being induced, least of all using pitocin.)

Maybe I am edgy because I had a lot of nightmares last night. I think they are due to something in my life that has been unconsciously stressing me becoming a conscious stress (family stuff.) Michael had to wake me several times because my nightmares were manifesting physically. They were mostly of the falling variety or ones where family was angry at me for trivial things (like buttering the wrong side of a grilled cheese sandwich first.) I have always been an active dreamer but I am more of a lucid dreamer so I am not use to the lack of control that comes with nightmares.

I drew my tarot this morning to help ground me. I don’t believe tarot (or any form of divination) foretells the future in the traditional way. I think that the cards drawn in a reading are an aid to access the subconscious mind and release certain patterns within it for the scrutiny of the conscious mind. Each tarot card has a different meaning and these meanings help raise questions that can help us work through different situations life throws our way.

I drew three cards (I use the Celtic Dragon Tarot for anyone who is curious.)

I feel that this card represents me at the moment. I am searching for answers by journeying within myself, I will not find the answers to these questions in anyone but myself. There are simple answers all around me, but in this case I do not feel they are best as they are quick fixes.

I am someone who needs to be in control of myself and the situations that confront me, when I am not fear and indecision can undermine my efforts. The Hanged Man reminds me that sometimes we need to relinquish the desire for control and that it is only then where stagnating matters will begin to more forward again. For me, it is a difficult battle, a battle of wills against my greatest opponent, myself.

In the tarot, twos are associated with the High Priestess (a card found in the Major Arcana of the tarot) and because of this are linked to duality and instinctual knowledge. The two of swords, more specifically is used to represent tension and indecision, usually in the form of a stalemate that must be resolved by pulling down barriers piece by piece.

In my current situation this card reminds me of two important family factors in my life and my need to find some kind of balance between them, even if the answers are not as concrete as I normally would like.

Intuition is difficult for me. I like control and facts and intuition often seems to fly in the face of that. That said I am an intuitive person but plagued by the usual self-doubt that one normally confronts when dealing with it. The Moon lights a more subtle path, one that is traveled alone but that blinds my normal sense forcing me to rely on my inner voice and instinct rather then outside influences.

This has always been one of the more difficult cards for me to interpret as it requires me to dive deeper into my subconscious and the heart of a problem then I am normally comfortable doing. Sometimes it is easier (though only in the short term) to feel like the victim then to take on the role of the rescuer. Taking the initiative, no matter how hard, yields the longterm results that I desire though.

I don’t expect any of this to make much sense to anyone but myself, but I’m okay with that. As the cards suggest and I intuitively know, this is a journey that can only lead within myself.

(Click the image for a bigger picture – 1024×768.)

This is how my birthing necklace looks so far (if I receive more beads, it will grow in length of course.) I really like how it has turned out too. I know not all the donated beads are red, but some people have difficulty following directions (I love you grandma and mom.) I find I really don’t mind though, the beads they sent were justified with special meanings which, in this case, were more important than color.

As always, Windigo had to get his adorable little face in my craft picture too. I usually crop him out but I thought he looked exceptional cute here.

In ancient times, Beltane was a festival celebrated on May 1st by the Celts. It marked the beginning of the pastoral summer season, when livestock were driven out into their summer grazing lands.

Beltane is known as a cross-quarter day as it marks the solar midpoint between the vernal equinox and summer solstice. It is possible that it was celebrated on the full moon nearest to this midpoint as the Celtic year was based on both the lunar and solar cycles.

One of the most significant activities preformed at this time by the ancient Celts was the building of bonfires on the eve of Beltane on top of sacred hills. Those who built these fires would drive the village cattle between them as to purify the herd and bring luck to the community. People would also pass between the fires to purify themselves. Household hearth flames were doused and then lit again from the bonfires.

May Boughs (usually made of hawthorn, which blooms in the British Isles at this time of year) were made at Beltane and hung on the doors and windows of houses. The morning of Beltane often saw pilgrimages to sacred wells where rituals to their spirits were preformed and healing water was drawn.

Maypoles were also erected at this time. These were slender trees that were cut down on the eve of Beltane, their branches were removed and the resulting pole was decorated and erected in the village square, some villages also had permanent Maypoles. Maypole ribbon dances (two circles of people holding ribbons interweaving around the pole) were a common sight on Beltane.

Today, Beltane is still observed by many Neopagans. These celebrations can vary considerably despite the shared name due to the many forms of Neopaganism.

Celtic Reconstructionists celebrate Lá Bealtaine when the local hawthorn trees come into bloom, or on the full moon that falls closest to the cross-quarter day. The traditional bonfire rites are observed as well as pilgrimages to sacred wells.

Wiccans celebrate Beltane as one of their eight sabbats. Their holiday more closely resembles a Germanic festival (celebrated at the same time of year) as it is more strongly linked with fertility then the Celtic one. Many people also consider the maypole to have originated among Germanic tribes. (However, both the Celtic and Germanic cultures became very much mingled over time due to longterm Roman dominance over the area.)

In my personal practice, my main focus is honoring the Earth and the changing seasons. Spokane’s climate is certainly transitioning into summer at this time of year, so the celebration of Beltane seems fitting. As it is an important day to many local Pagans, it touches me on a community level as it is a time we can all come together and celebrate the Earth. On Saturday I will be going out to a bonfire celebration in Medical Lake. (I can’t wait!)

As far as collective modern symbolically goes, this festival celebrates the sacred unity between between lovers and pleasures. As I write this, I am 8 months pregnant with my first child, perhaps this makes this larger connectivity more apparent to me then then ever. I was a maiden at past Beltanes, ready to dance the Maypole, but now I am at the cusp of being a mother, preparing to guide a new generation through the same stages I have passed though. I have noticed that this transition phase is certainly its own trial by fire and I find myself renewed by it.

I took this photo at Fishtrap Lake a couple years ago around Beltane, Arrowleaf Balsamroot is one of my favorite local wildflowers. As I said earlier, honoring the Earth is among the highest of my personal values so I thought I would include a list of all the native wildflowers that are blooming around Spokane at this time of year. I have spotted some so far and I hope to be able to see them before Summer Solstice.

• Arrowleaf Balsamroot (Balsamorhize sagittata)
• Calypso orchid (Calypso bulbosa)
• Dogtooth Violet (Erythronium grandiflorum)
• Fairybells (Disporum trachycarpum)
• Grass-Widow (Sisyrinchium inflatum)
• Heartleaf Arnica (Arnica cordifolia)
• Nuttall’s Larkspur (Delphinium nuttallianum)
• Sagebrush Buttercup (Ranunculus glaberrimus)
• Shooting Star (Dodecatheon pulchellum)
• Trillium (Trillium ovatum)
• Western Springbeauty (Claytonia lanceolata)
• Wild Hyacinth (Brodiaea douglasii)
• Yellow Skunk Cabbage (Lysichitum americanum)
• Yellowbell (Fritillaria pudica)

I hope you all have time to spend with Nature today and have a beautiful and blessed Beltane.

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ~ Ecclesiastes 3:1

When someone’s time comes and they pass beyond the veil it is a sad experience for those who remain in this world. We can usually take some consolation if their passing was from natural causes. Last year my friend’s mother passed away after a long battle with ovarian cancer. When she finally left us, her death felt more like a release then anything else. Her immortal soul was freed from her suffering body.

When people have their lives ripped from them by murder, no part of my mind is able to comprehend it. It is so much harder to cope with death when it comes without reason or warning. The violence humanity seems capable of inflicting upon one another is so overwhelming, it sometimes feels as if our culture is addicted to violence more than love. It pushes my mind to into an emotional void that I do not like the dwell it but that is very hard to escape from. Oddly I feel no vengeance towards towards those who steal these lives, somehow my heart cannot contribute to the violence their actions spawns.

I can’t honestly say that I feel compassion for these people either, I want to feel outraged, but I just feel tremendous sadness. I wonder what forces in life push a person into believing hatred and murder are acceptable? Though I am not Christians I have usually found comfort in the words above from Ecclesiastes, I recognize that my soul needs to believe that there is a reason for everything. However if you read the passage further it goes on to say that there is a time for killing, war and hate. All of which I do not have room for in my heart. Maybe an Ojibway prayer is more fitting:

Grandfather,
Look at our brokenness.

We know that in all creation
Only the human family
Has strayed from the Sacred Way.

We know that we are the ones
Who are divided
And we are the ones
Who must come back together
To walk in the Sacred Way.

Grandfather,
Sacred One,
Teach us love, compassion, and honor
That we may heal the Earth
And heal each other.

People often say that we must heal the earth for the sake of our children, because they are the ones who will inherit it, but I wonder, who will heal humanity? We are broken too. Do we have what it takes to heal the earth and heal each other?

This is a picture of my living room altar at the moment. A friend made it for us as a handfasting gift, it is gorgeous solid pine with lots of storage space and very sturdy. I am slowly working on wood burning my sun into the top of it (hence the cloth covering up that particular work in progress.) I do most of my spiritual arts and crafts at this altar because I have a tall chair that is the perfect height for me to sit comfortable in front of it.

That is my birthing necklace on it (and some tools to work on it too) if you are curious. You can click the photo for a larger one if you wish. Some people have emailed me about wishing to donate a bead. I didn’t realize so many people read my blog! Thank you! The criteria for bead is as follows:

• It must be red.
• It cannot be plastic.
• Any shape is allowed but I would rather they not to be much larger then a dime.
• I will need it before May 15th.

You can send the bead to:

Michael and Jaspenelle Stewart
3129 E 29th Ave B
Spokane, WA 99223

I started working on the necklace today (realizing I had enough beads to do that was a wonderful feeling.) So far so good! Many thanks to Neserit, who shared the rosary tutorial with me. I am using that technique to connect the beads. It was a little tricky at first but I seem to have gotten the hang of it (thank goodness for spare eye pins though…)

I’ve paused working on it for now, I have lots of spare beads but I know there are still some beads coming in the mail and I don’t want to rush this, though it obviously has to be done before I go into labor! I also want to do a ritual with it on the next full moon (on May 19th) as that will probably be my last before the baby comes! Hows that for a life transitions…

These are a few of the beads I have gathered or that people have given me for my birthing necklace. The only criteria I have for it is that donated beads must be red (representing the umbilical cord) and that I would rather they not be plastic. Since all the red beads are from others you can probably tell which ones I added to the lot! Most of our baby’s things are celestial themed, which is why I chose the blue lampwork moon as the focal point and the golden star spacer beads. I am hoping to have it done by May 19th so I can bless it under the full moon ritual.

I was originally going to make the birthing necklace on my own but when one of my friend’s found out I was making it and offered me a red bead to add to it, that idea seemed to hold more power. Now I am receiving more and more beads from people for it. I cannot put into words how blessed that makes me feel! My mother and grandmother are even going to send me a few heirloom ones and I admit, that offer made me cry…

If you are wondering what exactly a birthing necklace is simply a necklace that I will wear or have near me while I am in labor. I didn’t even know there was a term for the idea until I talked to my friend! When our baby is old enough to understand it’s meaning I plan on reworking the necklace into a mala for him.

I found this wonderful blog the other day called be present, be here and the author of it has this wonderful little thing she does called “senses”. That is where I borrowed this idea from for my spiritual exercise today. Be sure to check out her blog, she has many beautiful “senses” posts.

~ to see ~

~ to touch ~

~ to hear ~

~ to taste ~

~ to smell ~

~ to know ~

Occasionally people seem really shocked when they find this out about me, but I do not attend woman-only gatherings. At times people try to imply that maybe Michael is forcing me not to attend, and this is very much not the case (not that that convinces the skeptics.) I admit I like him there, he completes me in ways almost impossible to explain, but I do go to unisex gatherings by myself. I go to gatherings with only women too, but not ones that bare men from attending.

If there are woman-only gatherings out there that empowering women through means other than cutting down men, I have not yet found them (and I have been to many, so it is not lack of effort on my part.) Because of this, I prefer to avoid that particular type of exclusive gathering. I do not feel I benefit soulfully from them and it is not worth it to me to dig continue searching in the hopes of finding one that would make me comfortable.

I am not trying to be rude nor I am not try to say that such gatherings are “wrong”, they may be beneficial to some and I respect that, but please understand and respect my choice not to attend and do not try to force my hand. It will not work and just annoys me.

Anyone who knows me even vaguely knows I adore the sun, I love it more then the moon even. (Is that considered Pagan sacrilege? Hehe!) I could care less about tanning though I do love my sun kisses (freckles.) For me it is more the mere presence of the sun that uplifts and empowers me. Every morning, especially when I am up to see the sun breaking the horizon, I say a little sun mantra to myself thanking it for being there for me.

I love drawing styled suns too, even my business logo has the sun in it. I love depictions of the sun, anything that catches the sun’s rays, and solar colors. Orange is my absolute favorite color. I have sun catchers in almost every window of my home, a couple of which are dragonflies, my personal sun totem. The snake, another one of my totems is definitely a sun worshiper like me. When I stand in the sun I feel like the snake, my batteries are charging up.

Whether the sun comes out or not during the day greatly affects my moods, which is evident in the past couple days. The night before last I barely got any sleep and the next day dawned gray and drizzly. I had a miserable day yesterday. Last night I didn’t get much sleep either but it was sunny today and I feel exponentially better even with my body hurting and I am a little wiped out.

What can I say? I must be solar powered!
If I loved the sun anymore I just might start photosynthesizing…

~~~

In news from the swelling baby belly front, Michael and I are pretty sure one of my ovarian cysts ruptured at about 2am last night. I thought my appendix has burst it was so excruciating – but I feel perfectly fine today though and the baby is as active as ever. Whatever twist of evolution caused cysts to exist should be kicked repeatedly in the head.

(Sunrise in dowtown Spokane.)

The Lupercalia is an ancient, possibly pre-Roman pastoral festival, observed from February 13 to February 15 to avert evil spirits and purify the city, and increase good health and fertility. Perhaps this is where some aspects of Valentines came from, though the history of big holidays is certainly a muddled one. Either way I hope everyone has a wonderful day, I think my Aunt Ruth described Valentines Day best:

Valentine’s Day is not about chocolates and jewelry and special dinners and cards, but a day to think about true love and commitment no matter what our circumstances are.

Other then blogging, Michael and I have been pretty busy lately. Every Wednesday we have our Bradley classes and we are also working on reorganizing our apartment. Mostly I am focusing on tidying up and this weekend we are going to work on moving some furniture around (before anyone says it, yes I will be careful.) I am really grateful for how well Michael and I work together as a team, I know a lot of relationships do not have that good of communication.

Cleaning and rearranging aside, I have spent quite a bit of time in meditation and prayer recently. I know a lot of Pagans who do not pray, or rather, do not use the word “pray”. Perhaps it is too strong of a word implying that we are merely pawns, rather then players in our own fate. for me prayer is a way of connecting with an external divine source (rather then the internal one I access though meditation) to become empowered.

But yes, I have been praying for two people, and my cat too (who is starting to do better, thank you for all the advice!) I am praying for my friend’s daughters has developed PTSD and she is having an incredibly hard time cooping with the events that caused it. She is now back home but it will be a long road to balance for her. I am also praying for my Uncle Stephen who has been diagnosed with something called Horton’s Disease, which sounds infinitely more painful then my simple migraines. Part of me sees events in life such as these as a test of faith, however that does not make it any easier to see those you love in pain.

I should probably get back to cleaning now. I need to reorganized the storage space under the stairs. Who knows that lurks under there…

Michael and I are going to our duchy’s Twelfth Night celebration today, the duke and duchess specifically requested that we attend… Which is a little weird to me, as we have pretty much been inactive for most of 2007. Still it will be fun, I need to make a dessert to bring and I am really not in the mood for that this morning. Unfortunately they did not have Haagen-Daa Reserve Amazon Valley Chocolate ice cream in the Middle Ages. Unfortunately we do not have any in the freezer at the moment either… *sniff*

This is my hearth altar at the moment. I want to change it up, maybe put some Spring flowers there, I just need to find the energy…

The second Temple Free Spirit newsletter will becoming out Monday. We didn’t get as many submission this time and I wonder if this season affects people other than me. Mid-January to February I feel like all my energy is draining away, maybe filling up those persistent clouds outside, or getting lost in the fog. Then in rains down on me and washes what it left into the soil. Maybe the Earth needs it more then me though.

My doctor wants me to talk to the clinic councilor at the end of the month, which I will, though I really don’t think it will help any. I truly believe it is just the weather getting me down. As soon as the sun returns, so will my energy. It has always been this way. I admit this year it is worse then usual and I am sure pregnancy in amplifying it but I am certain I am not going to go antepartum psychotic though. Just give me back the sun. Maybe that is why the snake has been visiting me so often in my dreams lately, he always comes with the sun.

I don’t really know why I am talking about this particular mood right now. I am not sad or happy, I am just kind of… void. Easier to sit by my daylight (a really bright light that emulates sunlight) then do much of anything else, until I am recharged at least. But if anyone else feels like this, you aren’t alone you know? It isn’t your fault the your energy level currently does not match the height of pots and pans in the sink.

Speaking of which, I ought to make some apple pie… and do this dishes.

This is my interpretation of my two recent snake dreams:
(Raveness I replied to your comment in that entry.)

The first dream:
I feel this dream is mainly my subconscious telling me that I am not seeing an illusion that is in front of me and I need to get some glasses on. I think this because the snakes in the dream were similar but one was poisonous and one was not. (I think the snakes were a coral snake and a milk snake.)

The second dream:
I am not too sure about this one actually. The World Tree is an important symbol to me, without getting too deeply into it, I feel my path leads both to and from it (in a metaphorical sense of course.) The current “path” that I am on is reaching childbirth and embracing this life phase. The snake may be my primary guide for these coming months.

The boomslang is poisonous and may represent two things. It may be my protective nature towards my baby, but that I must be careful not to lash out unless I am threatened. It may also be related to the boomslang’s specific type of venom, which is hemotoxic, (this means it attacks your red blood cells.) It could be a reminder that everything I put into my body (represent by the snake passing through my chakras) reaches my baby.

I have a feeling this dream will become clearer over time.

Every Saturday I try to post a new question on the Temple Free Spirit yahoo group. This weeks question is as follows:

Is knowing other people who are on your same path important to your spiritual growth? How do you feel the different forms of social interaction (ie: face-to-face discussion, online chat, telephone) affect your spiritual development? Which method do you prefer?

I want to say, first and foremost social interaction is vital to my well-being (as well as the “alone-time” I need after deep discussed.) I love laughter and debate, I think both grow the soul and one’s personal experience. I am told I am one of those people who can get along with most people. I tend to agree, I love to hear people’s story and am quite good at coaxing it out of them.

I feel we are all connected in some way and that there is a reason people come into my life at certain points, even if they are seemingly disruptive. (One such person came into my life recently and I feel this person is here for a very important reason, to develop inner calm and under-developed ability to let some things go!)

I do not seek out disruptive people though! I tend to form friendships and with those whom I can relate with on multiple levels (I think it is human nature to do so.) Many of the discussion groups I frequent are full of people who are not necessarily on my same path, but at least compatible with it. That way there are enough similarities so closed-minded fights are avoided but enough disagreements to encourage spiritual development.

(Recent local meetup I went to.) As far as forms of communication, they all have their benefits and pitfalls. The internet has its speed and diversity, but distance and 2-dimensionalism can hinder. I am dyslexic and when you accidentally write “can” rather than “can’t” things can get messy quickly. Also, I am one of those people who tend to speak as much through body language as with words, hence the 2-dimensional nature of my online persona. Because of these two factors face-to-face interaction is my preferred method of communication, especially for philosophical discussion, ideally in a discussion groups of 5 to 10 people.

I can go on and on about social interactions and how important I feel they are to our civilizations wellbeing, but I will leave this here. If you happen to blog about this same topic, drop me a link, I’d love to read our opinions.

(These are some of the people who came to our gathering. Including children, we had about 25 people attend, which was a really fantastic turnout, especially with all the snow we had yesterday!)

Temple Free Spirit hosted its first every gathering last night. We celebrate the Winter Solstice! The gathering was held at Shannon and Robb’s home on Spokane’s South Hill and a total success! We held a small ritual, had a potluck and had lots of fun! As with all Temple events, we also had a food drive and received several large bags of food for Second Harvest.

(You can go to the the Temple gallery to see a few more photos.)

The Winter Solstice Gathering was a wonderful chance to get together, build community spirit and celebrate the Earth. Thank you to everyone who helped with preparations and attended.

I just wanted to wish everyone a blessed Winter Solstice. I am completely rejoicing with the thought of the returning sun. Longer days, yes!

Also Merry Christmas, Kwanzaa, Yule, Hanakhah, slightly belated Saturnalia and everything else I am missing! I hope you all find the brightest joy in this season of so many holidays!

Michael and I have Chiefs tickets for tonight, against Tri Cities! Let the mayhem begin.

“Free Spirits – Open Minds” so far as gotten great reviews. I was a little nervous about it at first but Michael did a really professional job laying it out and Temple Free Spirit members submitted wonderful articles! I am already looking forward to our Imbolc issue.

My current nervousness lies in next Saturday when we will be having the first Temple Free Spirit event, a Winter Solstice gathering. It will be in one of our member’s home. Shannon has a large empty full basement with a kitchen and bathroom which will work perfectly. Right now almost everything is planned down to the T, except some last minute work on the ritual. My friend Dee gathered lots of information on various Solstice traditions, and we met up this week to review them. Today I am working on knitting our favorite ideas together.

Community is so important, I can never seem to stress this enough. I could not having planned the gathering to this extent on my own. All the brainstorming and planning and little details have come together wonderfully thanks to all of us working together. The people in my community are all blessings.

Anyhow, I better get back to work. I can hardly call it work though since it is so enjoyable!

A few months ago I created a local group called Temple Free Spirit and I am so proud to announce that we just put out our first community newsletter “Free Spirits – Open Minds”:

• Winter Solstice Issue [PDF 1.26MB]

Let me know what you think of our first issue!

This poem is based on a dream I had a few nights ago.

(Image from Space.com.)

Mother, I feel your light.
I am a moth, drawn towards it’s glow.
Burned to ash, I am swept away,
      so that my spirit may return.

Mother, I embrace you.
I lay resting in your crypt, your womb.
This body I give back for you to reuse,
      so that my spirit may return.

Mother, I drink from you.
In the chalice of eternity, I drown.
Deep within your waters a rhythm begins,
      so that my spirit may return.

Mother, I breathe you in.
The ecstasy of life fills my lungs.
Holy wings beat strong, bearing me forth,
      so that my spirit may return.

Mother, I am your light.
By Fire, Earth, Water and Wind, I live.
I am a sacred drop in the forces of All,
      my spirit has returned.

(There was a Delicate Cycnia Moth present in my dream.)

I seem to be breaking my habit as of late of no talking about my dreams. I have always had quite vivid dreams and I have a rather keen memory of them, I even remember one I had when I was as young as five. A lot of people say they are simply pregnancy dreams, and I know a lot of them are about my pregnancy but they are just as vivid as before. Maybe it is the pregnancy that is making me want to share them though! Still, I am coming to like outside perspectives on my dreams. I do not know why I am so nervous about sharing my dreams, maybe because I do not know anyone who dreams as vividly as I do, or maybe it is because they all just feel so personal.

So anyhow, I had this dream last night:

I am walking among ancient overgrown ruins, the sun dimly lights them. I can feel the sacredness of the place resonating deep in my bones and I walk in almost total silence. I find myself standing before a wall of rubble, in the middle of it is a stone doorway, the door has long rotted away. The wall and doorway is covered in soft moss with thousands of vivid tiny red flowers. I heard a hissing sound and look through the doorway, there is a huge vulture standing there. It spreads its wings and hissed again, I feel drawn forward, as if the vulture was beaconing me to enter.

I want to explain this bird as well as I can, if anyone recognizes it as a particular species I would love to know. Maybe it has some kind of indigenous significance. Of course maybe the bird is a creation of my dream mind too.

I am pretty sure it was a vulture as it had a bald pink/yellow head and neck. There was a ruffle of feathers at the base of its neck, initially all the feathers I could see were silky black. The black feathers made me notice its feet in particular as they were really light gray and quite contrasting to it’s feathers. It’s feet were not webbed and had long talons. When the bird spread its wings to beacon me forward there was a large white stripe on the underside of each of them, its wingspan was enormous, much wider then the door, I bet they were 9 or 10 feet from wingtip to wingtip (the dream may have over exaggerated this.) The bird had a bald skin “pouch” on its chest too. The only sounds it made in the dream was a kind of hissing sound, which was unnerving at first but became kind of comforting.

I reach the threshold of the door and the vulture turns and walk/hopped forward. Beyond it I see a pool of water. The water is an opaque green and seems to swirl around as if it has a mind of its now. I know that it is a bottomless sacred well. The vulture stops by the side of the water. I approach.

When I reach the edge of the pool I sit cross legged beside of it and instinctively run my fingers lightly over its surface. A gray mist rises from the water and takes the form of two women. They step from the mist to the ground beside me, the vulture bows with his wings half open and I rise to my feet. I feel a little surprised/frightened. One of the woman is old, not hunched and crippled, but ancient tall and proud. She is a wise crone. The other woman is a chimera, she has the body of a woman and head of a vulture with huge black eyes. She had a silky white feather ruffle at the base of her next and some down her arms. She was wearing a golden necklace with this symbol on it (sorry for it’s roughness, I made it quickly in Gimp.) The vulture stands beside the vulture woman and she rests her hand on it’s head.

The vulture woman reaches out and touches me between the eyes and the crone says something. I find myself in the desert, I am flying as a crow. I look down and see a dead woman, vultures are eating her body. The vulture from the ruins flies past me and lands near the body (he is much larger then the other carrion eaters) the other vultures scatter and maintain a respectful distance while he eats. The vulture eats the body’s heart and womb and takes flight, I follow him as he returns to the ruins. It is now night.

The vulture throws up a dimly glowing orb at the feet of the vulture woman and returns to her side. The vulture woman picks up the orb reverently and gives it to the crone. The crone looks at me and begins to speak something along the lines of:

“I am the bearer of the flames, I give light to their darkness. I guide them as they go to the source and return. I am the keeper of this Mystery, this process that the Infinite cannot touch.”

As she speaks the orb rises into the sky and becomes one with the light of the moon and starlight, the moon is wanning. As she continues to speak the moon passes from wanning, to new, to waxing. As the moon waxes a new brightly shining orb returns from the sky, it is as bright as a star. As the moon reaches full the orb comes to rest in the crone’s hands.

“We are all of the source, we are one and many, we are connected and the connection. I am one aspect of Creation, that of wilderness and woman. I am the tomb and womb, I am the midwife of life and death, I am healer and nurturer, as are you. The threshold is a sacred point of life.”

As this point she hands me the orb and I feel it enter my body. I know that my baby had just received it’s soul. I feel the vulture’s head under my hand and I look down, its is comforting.

And that was the dream. Woke up with a massive migraine, gotta love that.

In other news I think when I find the money I am going to buy a blank scrapbook so I can document my pregnancy. Maybe I will turn it into our newborn scrapbook too. I keep reading I should get an acid free one. I am hoping they say that on the packaging in Joanns…

~~~

EDIT:

(Photo from Wikipedia.)
I am nearly certain the bird in the dream is a California Condor (Thank you so much for the id Atara!)

Neat little youtube video about them. I like the shot of the three sunning their wings.

The California Condor is an 11,000 year old species of vulture that currently only lives in the western coastal mountains of the United States. The California Condor are the only surviving member of it’s genus (Gymnogyps) and is critically endangered. This vulture has the largest wingspan of any bird found in North America (10 feet!) and is one of the heaviest. They are one of the world’s longest-living birds, with lifespans of up to 50 years. I found this picture of the size comparison between a condor and a 6-foot man:

Holy crap that’s big!

Condors were poaching and poisoned nearly to extinction, until the United States government capture of all the remaining wild condors in 1987 – only 22 birds! In 1991 they were reintroduced into the wild. As of November 2007 there are 302 individuals living, 155 of them in the wild. You know I didn’t use to be so fond of vultures but mu opinion is changing a bit, these guys are quite majestic. I wish I could fly at 15,000 feet for 150 miles for a day…

Condors were considered sacred to some Native American tribes and capable of providing communication with the supernatural world. The Chumash tribe believes that if the condors become completely extinct, so will the tribe. Some people also believe that the Thunderbird is actually the condor.

~~~

EDIT #2:

Ok, more commenter thanks going out – thank you Jett! He suggesting the Egyptian link of the circular symbol in the dream.

I looked into it and found this site. Apparently the symbol is called a Shen Ring, it was “a stylized loop of rope with each end visible” and commonly seen as a symbol of eternity.

Not only that but it was carried by the Egyptian goddess Nekhbet, a vulture goddess who was the patron of Upper Egypt as well as the guardian of mothers and children.

Within a glen, around a simple stone altar we gathered, inviting the powers that be into the sacred space through song, Winds Four Quarters. The matron of the property and circle, Linda, guided some in gathering feast food and offering it to those who have passed this year. We felt the ancestors strongly, truly the veil did part.

Leaving the glen’s east gate we gathered around a roaring bonfire and shared a spectacular feast. (I want a certain baked bean recipe now…) Some bread was accidentally set on fire, not sure how that happened, but it hardly colored the night, except with laughter. A horn toast was passed around at one point, I recognized my new friends, Michael welcomed our upcoming child, Dottie sent love to her recently departed mother, and there were many upon many other toasts, from the serious to the amusing were shared. I would not trade such life affirming experiences for anything.

It was a beautiful night, spent in the company of wonderful new friends, what more can you ask for?

I was chatting with the bus driver this morning and asked if his kids would be trick-or-treating, as they are 4 and 6-years-old. He said yes, though he would be staying home, spending the night in prayer. He went on to explain how he did not understand how Christians could celebrate a Pagan holiday. However he was letting his wife take their kids as he could not impose this beliefs on them. I thought it was refreshing to meet someone who did not force his beliefs on this children (or wife for that matter.)

Later, at work, I had a customer today who drive up wearing a witch costume (hat all smooched against the roof of her car, hehe.) She had a really lovely pentacle on and I complimented her on it. She told me it was the only time of year she could wear it out without getting bothered at work. Turns out she is Pagan too, of the Celtic persuasion, so we chatted for a few minutes and wished each other a blessed Samhain. If everyone could only be as live-and
-let-live in their manner as the bus driver.

Samhain comes from the Celtic word meaning Summer’s End. Tomorrow, November 1st, would have been the first day of Winter for the ancient Celts. Judging by all the frost I’ve seen today, it is certainly starting to feel like Winter here. It is a chilly 25F right now (that is -4C). We normally get our first snow around this time.

I love Samhain, it is one of my favorite sabbats (and not just because my favorite color is orange.) I love all the gatherings that begin happening at this time of year. Friday and possibly Saturday, Michael and I will be going to group rituals but tonight I will have a small personal ritual. I also want to do a divination reading for a good friend of mine. We are getting together with my in laws a couples times between now and Thanksgiving and I am looking forward to that too. I am grateful to have them in my family. Their ancestors are now mine and I celebrate all these wonderful connections on this day.

I hope you all have a lovely Samhain.

(For more information about the healing ritual please visit The Temple Cauldron.)

Just as the soft rains fill the streams,
pour into the rivers and join together in the oceans,
so may the power of every moment of our goodness
flow forth to awaken and heal all beings,
Those here now, those gone before, those yet to come.

By the power of every moment of our goodness
May our hearts’ wishes be soon fulfilled
as completely shining as the bright full moon,
as magically as by a wish-fulfilling gem.

By the power of every moment of our goodness
May all dangers be averted and all disease be gone.
May no obstacle come across your way.
May we enjoy fulfillment and long life.

For all in whose heart dwells respect,
who follow the wisdom and compassion of the Way,
May our lives prosper in the four blessings
of old age, beauty, happiness and strength.

~ Traditional Buddhist Healing Chant ~

Why do I celebrate Samhain? I do not practice Wicca and though my path is eclectic I don’t have too many Celtic-based beliefs incorporated in my practices. Also, Samhain always leaves me with questions. Why, only on this night, do many that that the veil between living and dieing the thinnest? Simply because someone says so? Even non-believers seem to know the supernatural is more active at this time.

Samhain, All Souls Day, Halloween… This day seems important to so many, beyond the candy and costumes. Why? To the Celts, Samhain meant “November” and the first few days were festival days for them, marking the beginning of Winter and their new year. In those times, the crops would have been reaped and stored by now. Peoples’ thoughts would turn to wondering if the earth had provided enough to last through the Winter. People seemed more at peace with death back then, enough so that they took these days to honor it. Of course, that may be a romanticized view, especially when looking at it from a culture that seemingly fears any of life’s transitions.

Perhaps we celebrate Samhain and death at this time because such thoughts are too heavy to be on our mind all year around. I think it is tradition that thins the veil. There is a theory called Morphic Resonance which gives me some evidence of this. Morphic Resonance is the thought that “human nature” is more like “human habit” and if we change our habits for long enough they will become so defined that they seem unchanging. Does tradition and faith cause certain days or rituals to be more “real”? Are we carving out our own realities with our beliefs? Does Samhain put us in the right mindset to do certain types of magic like divination? Human consciousness is more connected then we think.

My questions aside, I do intend on celebrating this season and Samhain. Maybe it is the darkening days or the chill in the air, but at this time of the year, my thoughts simply seem to turn more to death and rebirth. It “feels” right to celebrate this high day and I have no better reason to offer then that. On the eve of Samhain, I set and extra place at the table to honor my ancestors. I spend time meditating on their lives and reflect on my own mortality. Sometimes I do divination or a small ritual. I always honor nature by bringing some of it into my home and going out into it to admire its changes.

This will be my first Samhain pregnant and as of late my thoughts rest on rebirth. This little spirit inside of me maybe have an old or new soul, and either way I cannot wait to get to know it. It gives me faith in continuation after death. Although my Capricornian personality may sometimes disagree, I think that maybe I don’t always need scientific proof and reason to enjoy something, just faith. I simple feel this Samhain will be more special for me then any other and for now, that is all I need to know.

I love writing guided meditations. This one is modified from one I wrote for the Lughnasadh Open Circle I organized this year.

~~~

Everyone get in a comfortable meditation pose and gently close your eyes.

Begin breathing slow and relaxed breaths from your belly up. Feel yourself becoming wonderfully relaxed. All tension and stress is falling away, like drifting autumn leaves.

Feel your feet relax, then your legs, thighs, buttocks. All your lower body, perfectly relaxed. Relax your abdomen, your chest, let you heart release its worries for this time. Relax, warm and relaxed. Now flex and relax your hands, then your arms and shoulders. Tension flowing out of you, all relaxed. All tension leaving your neck, your face, your thoughts, warm and relaxed. All physical and mental tension is draining away. Feel at ease with your surroundings, calm and at peace.

Take a moment now to enjoy this wonderful feeling of completely relaxed, surrounded by peace.

Imagine you are in a field surrounded by ripe full pumpkins, the fruit harvest is here, the wheat has been reaped and stored. It is late afternoon and the Autumn sun baths you with warm gentle rays. You are
at peace here, the harvest, the sun, the earth, they all welcome you to this place.

It is after the equinox and the sun is wanning. Still it sends its last rays to you, giving you hope for the darkening days. The nights that are to come bring rest and rejuvenation. The stars will light your way through the winter.

Go to this place filled with stars, you feel energy fill you. It pours in through your crown chakra and through out your body, cleansing you. The earth sends her own energy through you, peaceful and loving. This energy penetrates your every cell and rises through you, out your crown chakra – at the top of your head. Your whole body is a silver waterfall, you are a conduit, being cleanses and rejuvenated. You are at peace.

Bathe in this light for a few moments… Know that in experiencing this silver light pouring into you, you allow the loving, healing forces of the universe into you, to help you be whole, physically, mentally and emotionally. Feel the beauty, the peacefulness, and the health that is in you, and know that at all times you can be at one with yourself, the stars, the earth and all the universe.

Now slowly, gently, as you begin to return to the here and now, you realize you really are feeling rested, renewed, re-energized, ready to meet the challenges presented by any day… In a few moments I am going to count from one to five.

Upon the number three, your eyes will open, and on the count of five, you will once again be wide awake, feeling fine and in perfect health.

One, two, three, your eyes are now opening. Four, five, you are now wide awake, feeling wonderful and in perfect health.

Magic isn’t only ritual to me, it is a circle that surrounds me all the time with each action in my day. I strive to live every day in a magical way, and while I am not always successful, I know I am on the right path, moving towards optimism and hope. Spirituality is not a nine to five job, spirituality is inviting love and wholeness into every task in every day.

So Autumn is here for us in the Inland Northwest. If you have not been able to tell by the amount I talk about it, I am quite enamored by this lovely season. It inspires and motivates me, and I have a ton of projects I like to work on this time of year. The following is a list of activities I have done or will do this season, most of the stuff is done in “quiet time” in the evenings. (I have crossed out everything that I have completed and italized anything that is in progress or on going.)

Group Activities:

• Celebrate the Autumn Equinox by going to the Fall Festival with friends.
• Maybe attend the Inner Spirit Samhain Gathering, on October 26th, if work schedules permit.
• Attend (and help plan) the local Samhain witches Ball on November 3rd. (Peppylady, are you interested in coming? When we get the details hammered out shortly, I can email you if you would like.)

Decorations and Crafts:

• Decorate my home for Autumn.
• Collect pinecones for the basket by the fireplace.
• Make maple leaf roses (and make a tutorial for them.)
• Gather and press autumn leaves and flowers.
• Carve a pumpkin.
• Make apple dolls.
• Make an Autumn scrapbook with leaves, poems and quotes and photos activities with friends and projects completed.

Cooking:

• Can applesauce and apple pie filling.
• Make mulled apple cider, taste a local wine.
• Make warming foods, stews, soups, chili, apple and pumpkin pie and breads!
• Make popcorn balls. I am not quite sure how to do this, but someone described them to me and they sound sooo tasty!
• Nudge Michael into making his awesome caramels.

Spiritual:

• Set up my ancestor altar.
• Have a solitary ritual honoring my ancestors on Samhain and set an extra place at the table.
• Take a walk on the night of the full moon.
• Start Tai Chi and practice it daily along with my meditation practice.

Other:

What do you plan on doing this season?